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  • #31
    on top of all that she has the nerve to ask me to give her money so she can do things with the kids when there with her for 30 hours a month ( which i never do) but always start a fight.

    we do talk very little maybe once a month through e-mail

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    • #32
      i drive over 400 km a month so they can see there mother

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      • #33
        hopefully it will get easier with time
        I wish the same for you.

        From the outside looking in, her life may seem cushy...but how cushy can it be for a person like this? I doubt she's gonna have an easy time having two more kids on welfare with her bf...and what are the chances that she's gonna have 2 more kids with another guy and end up in the same situation she had with you with the new kids?

        Frankly, reading your story...I feel sorry for the new kids she's giving birth to and glad that at least the 1st 2 with you made it out with a decent parent. They seem to be the lucky ones.

        I know that doesn't make the financial situation any better. Like Nadia said, you may want to take more court action. Given the fact she has a newborn and may soon be getting pregnant again...I don't know how successful you'd be however.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by afraid View Post
          i do get CCTB checks but a good part of it goes to paying my gas just to take them to see there mother. there is a court order saying i have custody ....
          ...she has even told me that since i have a decent job what would 60$ or 70$ a week from her in cs change...
          That's good. I just wanted to be sure you were getting the CCTB benefits for these kids, because the way you worded it before, I wasn't sure if Mom was including your kids, in the "collecting from the government" comments.

          Make sure, you receive all the "child" benefits from the government, and make sure that *you* are the one that claims them for taxes, which you should, since you have custody, and primary care. (again, just double-checking...you likely already do this).

          An extra $60 to $70 a week, would be a lot of money, to help care for the kids. I *wish* I received that extra, a month.

          Child support, is the right of the child(children), and you would not be wrong in asking for the courts to address this. Again, how much you will get, will depend, since it seems like Mom doesn't have much, but perhaps they will impute an income to her, and in any case, it's on "her" to prove, why she cannot provide child support, for the children she already had. Prior financial responsibilities, and all.

          I mention this, only because her comments basically saying "what would extra $x even help anyway?" ticks me off. Do you already get financial disclosure from her (and you provide to her?).

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          • #35
            when ever i speak to her about getting a job because it's the kids right to have both parents pay from them she threatens to take me to court for harassment.

            we all feel sorry for the new kids she is having but there is nothing i can do for them. i did call child protection on her they investigated her and told me because my kids spend so little time with her they see no immediate danger to take action

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            • #36
              the courts already told me by law if someone makes under 10k a year they don't have to pay cs. i would dare waste another cent in court just to be told there's nothing they can do

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              • #37
                I understand how you feel.

                However, it is what it is. There's nothing to be done about it.

                No one said life was fair

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
                  I understand how you feel.

                  However, it is what it is. There's nothing to be done about it.

                  No one said life was fair
                  very true it is what it is !!!

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                  • #39
                    Afraid,
                    Some of the comments here IMHO were not fair.
                    We do marry people and they do change. Sometimes you can not forsee the bad changes happening. What you married and what you have a few years latter might be a 180.
                    In my case I did have warning signs which I dismissed as bad days.
                    I'm sure we both would like to go back in time.

                    As to your original question, yes it sucks and its not fair. So far in my personal tally I count equal amounts of crappy exes in either sex.

                    I have had two court orders ruling for me, have made 3 offers well above what is fair and still I am getting crapped on.
                    Today I await as my ex does not sign off on an offer on a house, contrary to two court orders and the purchasers will sue us both! So tomorrow I will spend more big bucks to have a lawyer get an emerency motion meanwhile my ex is laughing. She like your ex just does not care.

                    The only thing you can do is what you re doing, be the best Dad as possible and be proud of who you are.
                    And yes, everyone deserves a rant day

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                    • #40
                      UPDATE::::

                      my ex called me last week crying telling me the cops came by her place and found that her and her boyfriend were growing pot in the basement. they found pot on him and in the trunk of his car along with 8000$ in a locked safe in the house. the cops threw her in jail for 24 hours and she doesn't know when her bf will get out. all this while they both are collecting welfare.

                      for some reason she felt she had no one else to talk to so she told me everything she has done over the last year and a half since iv'e had custody of the kids. running a (so-called business) selling flat screen T.V.'s and home entertainments making all kinds of money under the table. all of this going on when my kids would go over to visit.

                      on top of it every time i'd ask her if she could pay some kind of cs she would threaten me with harassment saying she has no money. she even told me her bf's mother smokes pot 24h a day.

                      they were doing all of this right under welfare and child welfare's noises even thought i made a report with with both of them because i knew something wasn't right.

                      my kids are suppose to visit her next weekend and i am not comfortable with that at all but i cant do anything about it because the system says she has rights. even thought she is f*%king over the system,me,the kids and anybody else that is in her life

                      thank you just needed to vent again.

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                      • #41
                        Your ex will definitely be imputed with an income, somewhere between what she was making before when she worked and minimum wage.

                        It may not be a huge amount, but it will definitely help. They can't order cs with her current income being under 10k... You have to impute it.

                        It's really not a big thing as the law is on your side. All parents have an obligation to support their kids. I would save your money and self represent for this motion. If you're worried about doing it alone, maybe just pay your lawyer to do the paperwork but attend court yourself. The judge will do a lot of the talking for you and it will be up to her to try and defend why your kids don't need support and she shouldn't have to work.

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                        • #42
                          I would get an emergency order to change the custody, remove overnights and visits in private places or something.

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