This is my first post. I pick up my three kids from my ex-spouses tomorrow afternoon. They've been away on a two week holiday. I haven't spoken to them since I dropped them off two weeks ago. I've told the kids (between 15 and 9) to call me occasionally when they are with my ex to let me know how they're doing. Calling them myself through my ex is fraught for me so I've stopped trying to contact them this way. My ex-spouse takes the view that it is not her responsibility to ensure that the kids stay in touch with me. So, in the end, I don't hear from them. While this situation is tough for me, I'm mostly concerned about the effect this could have on the children in the long term. I'm not quite sure what to do in the circumstances. Any thoughts? Thanks
Announcement
Collapse
No announcement yet.
Feeling alienated...
Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
-
Personally I wouldn't stress about a holiday, they missed you and they will be happy to see you and tell you about what happened and you will be interested in hearing about it.
It should be evey parent's job to encourage the kids to have a relationship and contact with the other parent. Married or divorced. But you can't legislate common sense.
Kids are resilient. Your job is to love them, you love them overtly and honestly and openly and then you take what life gives you.
-
Originally posted by Mess View PostPersonally I wouldn't stress about a holiday, they missed you and they will be happy to see you and tell you about what happened and you will be interested in hearing about it.
Originally posted by Mess View PostIt should be every parent's job to encourage the kids to have a relationship and contact with the other parent. Married or divorced. But you can't legislate common sense.
Originally posted by Mess View PostKids are resilient. Your job is to love them, you love them overtly and honestly and openly and then you take what life gives you.
Good Luck!
Tayken
Comment
-
I was getting the kids to phone my ex-spouse every single night for good night wishes (they are 7, 7, 10) while I was never getting phone calls and had to phone multiple numbers every night (house, cottage, cell phones) before I could get a hold of them to say "Good Night". I got so frustrated that I stopped making sure they called every night - he got the message, now I get a "Good Night and I love you" call from them at the same time every night when they are with him.
Comment
-
Originally posted by inseperationhell View PostI was getting the kids to phone my ex-spouse every single night for good night wishes (they are 7, 7, 10) while I was never getting phone calls and had to phone multiple numbers every night (house, cottage, cell phones) before I could get a hold of them to say "Good Night". I got so frustrated that I stopped making sure they called every night - he got the message, now I get a "Good Night and I love you" call from them at the same time every night when they are with him.
Great to hear!
Tayken
Comment
-
Flawed...I just went through this last week. It was the first time my ex had them away for 7 days and I was going stir crazy...I'm sure I only got about 2 hours sleep each night at the most. I had asked him to let the kids call every couple of days and he agreed. (Did not happen). I called them mid-week so I could talk to them because I was missing them so much
So...this week I had them away for the week and he said he would call if he wanted to talk to them (no calls)...
In our relationship, I know that the 'drivers' are different for both of us. If I take my kids to their hockey or lacrosse games, my ex wants calls throughout the game to find out how they are going, and one at the end...however if I take them away for vacation he is fine waiting to talk to them until they return. I have 'learned' to make subtle comments now and then when I want something such as...could you let the boys call me after their game so I can talk to them...I know how much you enjoy having that conversation with them if you can't attend a game... (it works sometimes...!)
Comment
Comment