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  • #16
    Originally posted by Links17 View Post
    Most people who are reasonably happy might leave relationship if you offered them 7 years of guaranteed income on top of what they could earn.

    For the others reading this thread - do not CONSENT to unfair measures you hurt yourself and the people coming after you.
    Spousal Support is guaranteed income?? Really?

    Arabian - you're good. Links said it's guaranteed. hahahaha

    Comment


    • #17
      News to me!

      If that were the case (guaranteed income) where did I go wrong I wonder?

      Comment


      • #18
        In serene's case her moron (I can insult him since he isn't part of the forum) husband offered to pay 8yrs of spousal on a 10yr marriage (which is prob the max the woman would have gotten anyways). 7 of only which she stayed

        $160,000 in spousal support payments GUARANTEED no matter what the circumstances. That was stupid. I'm happy he is happy with it though. She is currently sharing her expenses with somebody else, and earning from her own job.

        Serene, you should divorce this moron too and get the same golden parachute. Maybe he makes more now and you can ask for the same as his ex got x 20%.

        (sorry to the mods if I am not allowed to insult non forum members)
        Last edited by Links17; 03-05-2014, 02:46 PM.

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        • #19
          That's only 20k a year - minimum wage. That's peanuts! Chump change! It probably came down to a matter of pay CRA or pay the ex (as it does in many cases).

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by Links17 View Post
            In serene's case her moron (I can insult him since he isn't part of the forum) husband offered to pay 8yrs of spousal on a 10yr marriage (which is prob the max the woman would have gotten anyways). 7 of only which she stayed

            $160,000 in spousal support payments GUARANTEED no matter what the circumstances. That was stupid. I'm happy he is happy with it though. She is currently sharing her expenses with somebody else, and earning from her own job.

            Serene, you should divorce this moron too and get the same golden parachute. Maybe he makes more now and you can ask for the same as his ex got x 20%.

            (sorry to the mods if I am not allowed to insult non forum members)

            Oh come on. How can you call someone a moron just because they didn't do what you think they should have done? It may have come down to: fight endlessly in court, spending time and money and emotional resources and get stuck rehashing the marriage indefinitely, with no guarantee of a positive outcome, vs. sign off now and pay a bit more money, but with some certainty about what you owe and a better chance at putting the whole thing behind you and moving on. I certainly came to the point where I made several financial concessions to the ex because I realized that my sanity and well-being was worth more than the assets we were fighting over, even though my case was strong. Am I a moron?

            Of course, Serene's husband may be regretting that he ever signed the agreement. Maybe he thinks he made a mistake. That doesn't make him a moron either. At least he's honoring his commitments.

            Comment


            • #21
              Total cudos for someone who is paying what they agreed to pay, particularly if they have regrets about the agreement they signed.

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              • #22
                NO regrets. None.

                Links: I've noticed a trend on this site whereas when people run out of meaningful things to say they attack others personally. If my husband is a moron so be it. The children benefit from the extra money to mom. For the record I would never qualify for spousal as I am gainfully employed with several degrees. I also do not need a man's money and do not take CS from my previous spouse. I point this out because not all women are money hungry bitches despite an entitlement to cash. We (and yes WE because I actually suggested the SS deal to make the issue go away) gave the woman a gift. Its far easier to hold our head up high and sleep at night knowing we went above and beyond any requirement or entitlement.

                Stripes - Thank you for your post. And you are bang on.

                Comment


                • #23
                  People who receive SS are not necessarily money hungry bitches.

                  Good for you that you are well educated, employed and have the financial resources where you do not feel you need SS. Just remember that many of our sisters are not in the same situation and not everyone re-partners.

                  Spousal support is not "man's money" honey. I'm quite surprised to hear that from someone who is allegedly so well-educated.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Arabian - no reminders required - we did this willfully. And no where did I say or infer that SS was only for women.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Sorry Serene, if you're offended but it is quite offensive for your husband to have rolled over and given in to the fear of the court system. it is cowardly in fact. A lot of men are scared the system will eat them - and in many cases it does but unless it is engaged, deconstructed and fought it will continue to get more unfrair.

                      I will add this in fact, even if your husband cheated on his ex-wife while she was pregnant with 6 women in the house.

                      It wouldn't have entitled her to anymore SS (maybe a bit). If a woman leaves her husband she is told she has a right to support irrespective of what the reason of breakdown was. It is the samething the other way around. The husband is entitled to pay her jsut what she is entitled to based on Divorce law.

                      My qualm (and it is on a purely academic basis) is that unless your husband is paying at the low range or below the low range of the SSAG or there is some other extenuating circumstance he basically just laid over and died and gave her the most she could have gotten via court (i.e: she prob would have gotten less) and that is besides the fact that she is living it up now working, sharing expenses etc... which would have all given rise to adjustments.

                      I don't disagree with settling but GIVING UP is another case altogether. Its a coward's way out.


                      Just for the Record
                      --- NOthing wrong with SS (as a theoretical concept)
                      --- Not all women are money hungry bitches
                      Last edited by Links17; 03-05-2014, 05:35 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                        Sorry Serene, if you're offended but it is quite offensive for your husband to have rolled over and given in to the fear of the court system. it is cowardly in fact. A lot of men are scared the system will eat them - and in many cases it does but unless it is engaged, deconstructed and fought it will continue to get more unfrair.

                        I will add this in fact, even if your husband cheated on his ex-wife while she was pregnant with 6 women in the house.

                        It wouldn't have entitled her to anymore SS (maybe a bit). If a woman leaves her husband she is told she has a right to support irrespective of what the reason of breakdown was. It is the samething the other way around. The husband is entitled to pay her jsut what she is entitled to based on Divorce law.

                        My qualm (and it is on a purely academic basis) is that unless your husband is paying at the low range or below the low range of the SSAG or there is some other extenuating circumstance he basically just laid over and died and gave her the most she could have gotten via court (i.e: she prob would have gotten less) and that is besides the fact that she is living it up now working, sharing expenses etc...

                        I don't disagree with settling but GIVING UP is another case altogether. Its a coward's way out.


                        Just for the Record
                        --- NOthing wrong with SS (as a theoretical concept)
                        --- Not all women are money hungry bitches
                        I really don't understand you most of the time. Her Husband agreed to this, thus SETTLED this matter. Just because it isn't something you would do, why does that make him a moron?

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by stripes View Post
                          Oh come on. How can you call someone a moron just because they didn't do what you think they should have done? It may have come down to: fight endlessly in court, spending time and money and emotional resources and get stuck rehashing the marriage indefinitely, with no guarantee of a positive outcome, vs. sign off now and pay a bit more money, but with some certainty about what you owe and a better chance at putting the whole thing behind you and moving on. I certainly came to the point where I made several financial concessions to the ex because I realized that my sanity and well-being was worth more than the assets we were fighting over, even though my case was strong. Am I a moron?

                          Of course, Serene's husband may be regretting that he ever signed the agreement. Maybe he thinks he made a mistake. That doesn't make him a moron either. At least he's honoring his commitments.
                          We're not talking about concessions here, from what it appears he capitulated completely. A payor's best hope to reduce payment is a change in circumstances and he threw that away and paid what might be a normal/high amount and in fact his ex had the 2 major chances in circumstance that together would have probably resulted in the termination fo support payments - working and cohabiting.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                            I really don't understand you most of the time. Her Husband agreed to this, thus SETTLED this matter. Just because it isn't something you would do, why does that make him a moron?
                            Because normally when you settle, you settle at around the 50% mark not at the best possible result your adversary could get. Understand?

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              No... settling means you both give and take... he gave on this, maybe took on something else. There is no definite mark. Maybe this settlement was at the 50%? Maybe she was wanting more and he was wanting to pay less, thus they settled in the middle... do you understand what settling & negotiation means?

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                                No... settling means you both give and take... he gave on this, maybe took on something else. There is no definite mark. Maybe this settlement was at the 50%? Maybe she was wanting more and he was wanting to pay less, thus they settled in the middle... do you understand what settling & negotiation means?
                                1. What she wants and he wants to pay is irrelevant in terms of starting points.

                                2. The SSAG Ranges and jurisprudence define what is reasonable.

                                3. If you agree to pay anything more than below or the lowest range of SSAG but you throw out the right to petition for a change, you threw out a major tool in the payor's arsenal.

                                If he got something financial out of the deal ok maybe it wasn't such a bad deal but that's not how is presented.

                                I'm just saying that capitulating is not the same as settling.

                                Comment

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