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  • Originally posted by Janus View Post
    It comes right after the rule against intimidating recently widowed parties.
    It's a good thing then that there's no widow and the only party is deceased in my case.

    My text to her wasn't intimidation either, it was a mother who has barely slept and has lost 15 pounds in 17 days worrying about the well being of her children who were being withheld from her. If it was meant to intimidate or harass her I would have texted her the day of!

    You almost sound like you know her...if you do, you can let her know that she's got the war she was looking for. Sooner or later God will cut her down.

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    • Did you go to court today? Was it adjourned?

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      • Mummaa222, you got that right. God will cut her down. How did it go? I've been thinking about your situation all day and praying for you. It's unfortunate the system is broken and full of asshole lawyers. Keep forging ahead.

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        • Originally posted by Stillbreathing View Post
          Did you go to court today? Was it adjourned?
          Oh I went alright ugh

          His lawyer said in her 31 years of practicing she has never dealt with anything like this. The judge said he also has never dealt with anything like this. Not a good thing...for me anyways.

          So here's what happened:

          The girlfriend was there with his mother. His mother took one look at me and started to cry and so did I and so did my mother and so did his lawyer...great start!

          His lawyer said the gf would like to apologize for her text...of course she does! I told her no way since this is the 2nd time since I've known her that she has threatened me and she has also threatened my son when he was only a child, the same age as my oldest daughter now.

          Then she comes up with this:

          RULE 4: Representation
          REPRESENTATION OF PARTY WHO DIES
          (5) If a party dies after the start of a case, the court may make the estate trustee a party instead, on motion without notice. O. Reg. 114/99, r. 4 (5).

          AUTHORIZING REPRESENTATIVE FOR PARTY WHO DIES
          (6) If the party has no estate trustee, the court may authorize an appropriate person to act as representative, with that personÂ’s consent, given in advance. O. Reg. 114/99, r. 4 (6).

          She decides that his mother, who is estate trustee can consent to allow his gf to represent him in the case. That is not my understanding of what that says?

          So now the gf is representing him. I tell the judge that poses a problem as she has threatened me but too bad for me, he doesn't want to hear about it or even see the text!

          Then she asks for the children's lawyer for the kids, apparently I have no say in that either. He suggested the guardian of public trustees or something (yes, I wrote it down but i'm not near my notes)

          The judge asked me if I plan on proceeding with my motion to change and I tell him I do and plan to amend my motion to ask for sole custody. I told him duty counsel recomended that i bring a motion right away for custody but chose not to because i didn't want to hurt my girls more than they're hurting right now after losing their daddy.

          I asked him if he could tell me who currently has custody of my children and he says: good question! then he gives the gf temporary custody of my girls!! when i asked about my access he tells me if they want to see me they know how to find me and that at 10 and 14 they're old enough to decide on their own!! WTF!!!

          so his lawyer is still asking about the motion material from me and the judge tells her that the order doesnt exist anymore and because im amending my order we should go to assignment court on the 17th. our trial scheduling conference was to be on the 8th and his lawyer wanted to still go through with it...no idea how she wanted to do that! but it had already been vacated because thankfully someone was thinking straight.

          So a non-parent and non-biological person has been granted temporary custody of my children even though no background checks were done and they still have a surviving biological parent who wants custody and is not unfit. can that even be done? can a judge just make orders because he wants to? He based it on the best interests of the children and said today isn't a trial so I couldn't even give my side.

          this is absolutely ridiculous and heartbreaking. i have ptsd from what the 2 of them put me through before and this is like going through it all over again!! they wanted me in counselling before when i didn't need it so they're going to get that too because i'm going to need it to keep fighting for my babies :'(

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          • Just remember this is temporary... I can’t comment on the legalities of it all, but I’m assuming the Judge didn’t want to uproot the girls any further until they have a chance to see the evidence before the court. You see your lawyer next week correct? Hopefully they can explain how that part of the law works when one is deceased. I would argue the 10 year old isn’t old enough to decide but I do feel the 14 year old is. The problem is most judges don’t want to split up children. Having the children’s lawyer involved for your children may be a good thing... give them a voice that isn’t step moms. Seek out counselling to help you throughout emotions. When you’re in court you want to keep emotions out of it. I’m sorry you didn’t get the results you wanted... I truly think you should have at least been provided access to the children until everything is settled


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

            Comment


            • Wow. Family court is evil. Your story would make a great suspense/thriller. Remember, hold your head high, you are the hero in your story. You will get custody back and the raving nutbar girlfriend will get her dose of Karma. She can’t piss in the wind and come out clean.
              Who is paying for her lawyer? Does she have 300,000 to litigate for the next few years? Is she so committed she will self-rep if she runs out of money? These are not her children, she will not fight for them the same way you will. Remember that. She hasn’t got as much at stake as you do.

              You can ask your lawyer to immediately appeal this order that the girlfriend have custody. Orders are reversed all the time. Hang in there. You have a lot of people rooting for you.

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              • The wheels of justice move super slow in family court. That is so lawyers can get rich and good people run out of money to fight. When it involves kids it's extra disgusting and shameful. Stepmom only has temporary custody. You have not lost the war. Gear up for battle with a lawyer. I'm sorry you will have this expense knowing you were forced to self rep but this is too important to make an error. I love what stillbreathing said. It is so damn true. Nutbar stepmom will not fight harder than you will because they are not her kids. I hope she ends up with zero money to continue this ridiculous battle. And then karma bites her in the ass for what she has caused.

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                • I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I can only imagine how u r feeling. Your story has been on my mind a lot and I hope your children are brought back to you, their mom. Keep fighting for them, stay strong, and continue to be the better person. Also reach out to the gf regularly asking how they r doing, asking to speak with them and ask to come visit with them. The more she resists, the worse it looks on her. Let her build your case for you by tracking all of your communications to her with her being either non responsive or not supportive of your relationship with your children. If the children have a cell phone I’d ask for their numbers so u can text or call them direct to ensure they receive ur messages. Don’t ever give up.

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                  • Originally posted by Mummaa222 View Post
                    she's got the war she was looking for. Sooner or later God will cut her down.
                    I think you accidentally misspelled "I'm just focused on doing what is right for my kids".

                    Would you share custody with the stepmom?

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                    • Originally posted by Janus View Post
                      I think you accidentally misspelled "I'm just focused on doing what is right for my kids".

                      Would you share custody with the stepmom?
                      I am the only person in any of this who is focused on doing what is right for my kids!

                      No, I will not share custody with her. She has severel damaged my daughters emotionally and mentally in so many ways and has been doing it under the radar because all these years I've been told by everyone, including lawyers, not to bring her up because I might look jealous or vengeful.

                      She put herself in the spotlight (even though I'm not sure that should have been done since there is an estate trustee).

                      I don't think her having even temporary custody is allowed without doing the security checks!

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                      • Let's not forget how she got into this horrible situation. She ran out of money defending and fighting her ex and the broken system failed her. Now she is fighting to undo it all. She didn't lose the family canoe or stamp collection. These are HER kids now in the custody of a clearly unstable stepmom. She would not be able to share custody or coparent with someone like that. Not this nutbar who has already shown she has no interest in sharing these kids with their own mother. And who has not had a security clearance with results shared. How can mummaa222 be expected to close her eyes and just move on? Given this I ask every mother on this board this question I know I could not and here I'm on this board complaining about a broken system that has taken the equity from my marriage and left both my ex spouse and I with nothing because the effen lawyers ate it all. But mummaa222 situation makes me put my situation in perspective. I've Lost my money but not my children. My heart breaks for her. We not talking about the family pets. These are children who at the least we need to hear from their own voice. This situation is not in the best interest of HER kids. She needs her day in court with a lawyer because it has now become so complicated. Let's not pour salt in her wound if you don't support her efforts. The fact that she is on this board seeking advice and you can tell by her posts she is in anguish over being kept away from HER kids is enough to know she deserves a fair chance in court. A working class family should not go bankrupt or lose custody because of a piece of crap system.

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                        • Originally posted by Helpmyspouse View Post
                          Let's not forget how she got into this horrible situation. She ran out of money defending and fighting her ex and the broken system failed her. Now she is fighting to undo it all. She didn't lose the family canoe or stamp collection. These are HER kids now in the custody of a clearly unstable stepmom. She would not be able to share custody or coparent with someone like that. Not this nutbar who has already shown she has no interest in sharing these kids with their own mother. And who has not had a security clearance with results shared. How can mummaa222 be expected to close her eyes and just move on? Given this I ask every mother on this board this question I know I could not and here I'm on this board complaining about a broken system that has taken the equity from my marriage and left both my ex spouse and I with nothing because the effen lawyers ate it all. But mummaa222 situation makes me put my situation in perspective. I've Lost my money but not my children. My heart breaks for her. We not talking about the family pets. These are children who at the least we need to hear from their own voice. This situation is not in the best interest of HER kids. She needs her day in court with a lawyer because it has now become so complicated. Let's not pour salt in her wound if you don't support her efforts. The fact that she is on this board seeking advice and you can tell by her posts she is in anguish over being kept away from HER kids is enough to know she deserves a fair chance in court. A working class family should not go bankrupt or lose custody because of a piece of crap system.
                          Will said.

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                          • Originally posted by Helpmyspouse View Post
                            These are HER kids now in the custody of a clearly unstable stepmom.
                            We must be reading a different set of posts. I will agree though that at least one of the parties in this dispute is clearly unstable.

                            And who has not had a security clearance with results shared.
                            I haven't had a security clearance either. I used to give my daughters baths, unsupervised!

                            she is in anguish over being kept away from HER kids
                            You accurately noticed her focus. I like how you put it in caps... twice.

                            The fact that you don't see that as a problem speaks to your personal set of issues.

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                            • Originally posted by Ana Ana View Post
                              Will said.
                              Did you just seriously quote an entire inane post to add two words, of which you misspelled half of them?

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                              • Janus
                                Thank you for your follow up, my apology for the spelling mistake.
                                As for quoting the whole post to add my two words, I am new to this forum and I am not quite familiar with it’s options. For example I don't know how to post a new thread or to replay to specific post or member.
                                Regards

                                Comment

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