Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Any advise

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Any advise

    Hoping some of you can offer some advise. My wife has asked for a Separation / Divorce after about 10 months of cheating on me. I caught her chatting on affair sites more then once but tried to work through it with counseling and stuff but she is back at it and claims she is not happy, and wants out. Well we have 2 boys 9 and 7 own a home with a mortgage and normal bills. We have been talking about trying to do this with out lawyers and have agreed to split everything 50/50. Well yesterday she hit me with custody now at 60/40 so she can have child support, we both work and I make around 55,000 a year and she make around 40,000 a year but has been back in school for over a year and when she is done in about 2 years will be able to make 80,000 to 100,000. She claims that even if we agree to 50/50 split custody that I would still pay her child support and if she wanted spousal support. If that is the case then it will be hard to get another mortgage and start over and still be able to provide for my children. First off is she right? And second is it worth going to war over? I know the courts favor the women almost all the time. But I want to be able to try and provide for my boys without them losing too much from there parents mistakes.
    <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>
    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  • #2
    At 60/40 child support would be determined using the offset method. Given your current salaries it would work out like this:

    55k = $827 per month
    - 40k = $601 per month
    ________________
    $226 per month paid by you to your ex for child support.

    If she were to get 61&#37; of the overnights, you would be paying the full $827 per month to her, with no offset. So if she is offering 60/40 in writing, I would take it.

    Further, the chances of her obtaining anything from you in the lines of spousal support are slim. She earns about 72% of your current income, and once you add in the $2400 she would receive from you for c/s the ratio becomes even closer (80%).

    I would suggest that you stop taking your legal advice from your ex, as it will generally be pretty self-serving on her part. Same goes for her lawyer, they may say stuff, but that will be because they are representing your STBX and her interests, not yours.

    All assets and liabilities of the family (house, RSP's, investments) accumulated throughout the marriage will be split 50/50, unless one person can prove that they should be excluded.

    Personally, I would go to war over time with my kids if I were you. Unless you are incapable or unfit, there is no reason why you should be any less involved in your children's lives then your STBX.

    Also, it sounds like you need to read this:

    Main Forum Page - Divorce Forums | Divorce Advice for Men | Information on Divorce • View topic - THE LIST (Print It)

    Yes, it may seem all scary (and it is from an american website) but you need to understand what you may be up against in the future and ensure you are protected from it.

    Edit - Oh, one more thing. DON'T MOVE OUT NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS!!!!!
    Last edited by HammerDad; 10-21-2010, 03:34 PM. Reason: Ensuring he doesn't move out for some stupid reason!

    Comment


    • #3
      First, there shouldn't be any reason for the court to favor one parent over the other, unless there are other circumstances to be considered. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you want a 50/50 split. Try to be amicable, but be firm...

      Is she currently working or is she attending school full-time? Assuming a 50/50 split, if she is still making $40k per year (and you $55k per year), then you would pay her child support per the schedule, and she would pay you child support per the schedule. There would be a net transfer, therefore, from you to her.

      Every year you should exchange T4s and the amount should change based on your and her net incomes. If she ends up making $80k per year, and your income remains the same, then you will end up with a net transfer from her to you.

      As for her infidelity, it happens, so suck it up. Be the bigger person and concentrate on your childrens' best interests.

      Comment


      • #4
        Since she is working, and at school (part-time?), I doubt that she will be eligible for spousal support. I could be wrong there, though.
        Every year you both will have to supply each other with income tax returns to adjust child support amounts and pro-rating the dreaded and controversial S.7 expenses.
        You need to get yourself a lawyer as she will give you advice in her favour. Neither of you will get everything you want from the separation and divorce.
        Who will the children live with? Her mostly, you mostly? Equal time between two households?

        Comment


        • #5
          Read the below and follow it:

          http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...st-links-7706/

          DO NOT Move out of the house.

          Buy a PVR TODAY. It's your new "hip" fashion accessory. You wear it AT ALL TIMES while in the home. The easiest way for her to hardball you is to goad you into a fight, claim abuse, and then you're screwed.

          DO NOT settle for anything less than 60-40, with JOINT custody. (Meaning she can't arbitrarily make decisions on education, medical or religion without YOUR agreement or a court order). Push 50-50, it's YOUR right as much as your STBX's.

          Pick a date you are separating...say today. In 90 days, you start paying her OFFSET table amounts of child support. Email money transfer to her or by personal check. Either that, or you start setting that amount aside each month in a separate account. (see the linked thread, near the bottom...ref: prick move")

          She doesn't qualify for spousal support, she's trying to scare you into accepting her deal.

          DO move into a separate bedroom, put a lock on the door, and start sleeping there. Keep NOTHING relevant to your case in the home. Get a safety deposit box if you must.

          Document EVERYTHING now, bills, credit cards, accounts, etc. Get copies of her income taxes or other financial documents asap if you can manage it. (in case this gets nasty and she "forgets" anything.

          While we are on the topic of finances...freeze ALL joint accounts. Get out of bed with her financially. Pay 1/2 of the bills from your account, document it, and make her pay the other 1/2 from her accounts.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
            ...
            If she were to get 61% of the overnights, you would be paying the full $827 per month to her, with no offset. So if she is offering 60/40 in writing, I would take it.
            ...
            Don't take 60/40! - are you not equally a parent? Only accept and only do 50/50 with respect to how much time the kids will live with you - which to me means half of the time they sleep at your (future) house.

            Comment


            • #7
              It sounds like she has been chatting with people who are telling her how to screw you. It may be too late to be nice and forgo the lawyer routine.

              But if it is possible to discuss things with her, you may want to talk about collaboritive law.It is a less advesarial approach to divorce.

              Comment


              • #8
                ***********
                Last edited by red6419; 10-21-2010, 06:43 PM. Reason: mistake

                Comment

                Our Divorce Forums
                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                Working...
                X