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Self Entitled Parent

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  • Self Entitled Parent

    Been a while since I posted on here....guess I've come to terms with how this country's law has enslaved me.

    Just a brief over view first before my question: Separated father of 2 (D9 & S7) for 4 years; agreement is 50/50 custody every 2nd week (7/7); I work and pay full child and spousal support. Mother chooses not to work.

    4 months prior lawyers "seem" to agree on imputed income to mother. However, with real estate/rental costs and cost of life in general; my single salary can just barely cover two homes (ex and mine)....with zero luxuries. I eat kraft dinner 4 times a week and am diabetic. Good food costs money. Enslavery is NOT good for the health. With all that....I've accepted my forced enslavery. It is what it is. My ex works for cash and can buy nice things for her like trips etc.... I no. I need money to prove this cash work in court .... which I cant because I have no money to cover a lawyer. Still paying off debt from previous legal fight.

    Getting to my question: My ex is on her 5th trip in a year. This one to her home country. It was suppose to be a 3 week trip to see her sick father. She then extended it to 5 weeks. And today called to say she does not know when she will return. She missed Christmas, New Years with the kids. Missed our D9 birthday and the party. Did not even call the day of the party. She told me the issue with her father....I looked it up...and it has a 0.05% chance of fatality, however is painful. Antibiotics clears it up....and it can become chronic. May I add....her home country is tropical, she hates winters and has left for warmer weather consistently on previous years during winter.

    So my question(s) are: Has any one faced this before? Does one in Canada have to pay Child support to a Parent that is not even in the country to care for the children? Would this need to go to court? Is there case law a lawyer could follow that has directed payments to stop until parent returns? The canlii files that were similar to my case (not exact) I have read all stated the payment must continue....and even in one case the judge thought it was terrible for the payor to even suggest stop paying while his wife was visiting family for 2 months...(sad injustice).

    My own father is sick....very sick and could pass at any moment. I would love to go home and stay with him.....but I have responsibilities here, 2 wonderful children that require me to look after them and guide them. And oh ya....I also have a responsibility to pay my ex wife Child and Spousal as part of my government enforced marriage punishment (enslaved). If I left work for 5 plus weeks...Im fired. Then what? My ex....she is entitled and the government says yes she is. I must pay to say otherwise.

    Advice? I know....suck it up, be a man and pay my ex. Being a woman is soooo hard.

  • #2
    I wonder if you can say she abandoned the kids and get custody? She kept changing the dates she will be back and now says she doesnt know when she will return.

    Comment


    • #3
      I don't see the problem here. Encourage her to stay longer. Tell her the kids are doing fine. Arrange lots of phone calls. Have the kids write emails to her. Be super supportive.

      Then, a year from now, file for child support since in the last year the kids were with you more than 60% of the time. Boom.

      PS: Stop talking about the slavery nonsense. I'm assuming you use that language with everyone you meet. You only need one of those people to testify in court that you are CS focused to lose. If you have already been posting that crap on facebook then you have lost even before you started.

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      • #4
        I'll add that derogatory statements about women don't do any good as well. You picked your ex and continually bashing her speaks volumes about your decision-making overall. Yeah we all made mistakes, but best not to highlight em IMO.

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        • #5
          I agree with both Arabian and Janus, you have to change your view point. You have to be the best you can be. Also be careful what you say to your children about your ex as well. They are not blind, so you need to encourage the relationship with your ex.

          I'm in pretty much the same situation; work full time, pay full CS and SS, caregiver for my mother. I see my kids less thought.

          You are lucky that your ex is giving you an opportunity to get out. Mine doesn't, she constantly interferes with my parenting time. She took them out of school this week to bring them to a friends, where she then claimed they couldn't have their weekday parenting time unless I drove 1 hour to pick them up. She said weather conditions frightened her friend from driving them.

          Make the best of your situation, make it a happy life for your kids. Don't forget about rebuilding your life and learning coping strategies. Seek help if you need it.

          Comment

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