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Divorce Guilt?

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  • #16
    My take on it is this: I have forgiven him as well as myself for the many mistakes we both made during the course of our marriage. No way would I ever offer him an apology as any sign of (perceived) weakness on my part would be used against me - knowing the way his mind works.

    It would be awesome to be able to sit down calmly with my son's father and each of us would unburden our hearts and wish each other a happy future - though if he were able to behave in that way, chances are we could have salvaged the relationship from the get go.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by stripes View Post
      Unfortunately, depending on who you're dealing with, apologizing may not always be the best thing to do. If you're dealing within someone who engages in "splitting", an apology is taken as evidence that you have come to agree with them and you recognize that you are completely wrong in every way.
      I agree. That has been my sad experience too.

      The only apology that I ever got from my ex was: "Sorry. I should have introduced you to him sooner."

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      • #18
        My ex asked for forgiveness and offered it.

        And then she turned around and continued to play me like a violin during our negotiations.

        But that doesn't mean that it wasn't cathartic and the right thing to do to ask for and accept forgiveness.

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        • #19
          The closest thing I ever got to an apology was "I handled it wrong." Is there a right way to handle infidelity?

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Rioe View Post
            The closest thing I ever got to an apology was "I handled it wrong." Is there a right way to handle infidelity?
            Infidelity would not even be an issue if spouses were honest/secure enough to call it quits rather than trying to find a 'replacement' while still married?

            It's incredibly selfish to keep pretending while 'shopping around'. That's unforgivable ... call me old-fashioned, wrong is wrong!

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            • #21
              I never received an apology. I used to be upset about that but eventually came to the conclusion that my ex and I will likely never have true closure.

              I will always care about my ex as we were best friends for several decades.

              My ex has frequently expressed his hope that we 'be friends' again one day and go golfing! I don't golf (or live with) cheats as the stakes are too high.

              My ex has done nothing besides make my life stressful for years. His girlfriend likes to email me and pretend to be him. I received some emails last night from he/she recalling the 'good old days.' I get sucked in and respond. Then I regret it.

              I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace. Helen Keller

              Such is life. It's been almost 2 months since last court apperance and wow I'm not being dragged back to court yet!
              Last edited by arabian; 02-03-2014, 10:57 PM. Reason: insert quote

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