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phoenix99 · #1 09-02-2008, 06:20 PM

1. I have told my second wife I want to end our marriage after three years. No adultery involved. No violence. Marriage breakdown I guess they call it.
We own our own home but I cannot afford to rent an apartment and pay my share of the mortgage. I am living in the basement now "separate and apart" until we qualify for divorce. The reason is that I want to sell the house now. She doesn't. She wants me to leave. I don't want to move out until the house is sold. Where do I stand on this?

2. I have a private pension and CPP that I started to collect before we were married. Is the private pension is an asset that is not included in the present assets that have to be shared? Is a stock program my wife had before we married also excluded?

Any advice/comments would be appreciated.

dadtotheend · #2 09-02-2008, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix99

1. I have told my second wife I want to end our marriage after three years. No adultery involved. No violence. Marriage breakdown I guess they call it.
We own our own home but I cannot afford to rent an apartment and pay my share of the mortgage. I am living in the basement now "separate and apart" until we qualify for divorce. The reason is that I want to sell the house now. She doesn't. She wants me to leave. I don't want to move out until the house is sold. Where do I stand on this?

2. I have a private pension and CPP that I started to collect before we were married. Is the private pension is an asset that is not included in the present assets that have to be shared? Is a stock program my wife had before we married also excluded?

Any advice/comments would be appreciated.

1.Don't leave the house until you have negotiated the financial settlement. If you are gone, there is no motivation for her to settle, just to ride it out through the courts for months or years.

2.The value of your pension (and her stock) at marriage date would be retained by each of you. It's only the growth between marriage date and separation date that would be split.

phoenix99 · #3 09-02-2008, 07:26 PM

dadtotheend:
Thanks a million for the help.
One more thing that I have been unable so far to research.....I am willing to keep her named as the "spouse survivor beneficiary" if my pension plan allows it. It will take a couple more days for the pension people to let me know.
If she is allowed to collect 60 per cent of my pension if I die after the divorce, would she have to declare it as a financial asset for her at divorce time?

phoenix99 · #4 09-02-2008, 07:44 PM

dadtotheend:

Some other stuff just to fill in some of the blanks. She works and makes more than I do with my two part time jobs (with my pension removed from the equation). She also has a "for life" court support settlement from her previous husband that went all the way to the Ontario Supreme Court. Is it OK to assume she would not have to include this in her financial statement?
To me, the only real asset we both have is the increase in value of the home since we bought it a year before we were married...and whatever money her stock plan made since we married. I have offered to give her about 90 percent of the increase in the value of the home since we married and only take the stuff I had when we married. All this got me was threats that she will ruin me financially in the divorce. I asked her to please see a lawyer because she is still angry (which I understand) and get some advice.

dadtotheend · #5 09-02-2008, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix99

dadtotheend:
Thanks a million for the help.
One more thing that I have been unable so far to research.....I am willing to keep her named as the "spouse survivor beneficiary" if my pension plan allows it. It will take a couple more days for the pension people to let me know.
If she is allowed to collect 60 per cent of my pension if I die after the divorce, would she have to declare it as a financial asset for her at divorce time?

I've never thought about that question, but it would seem that sensible that there is an asset there. Measuring the value of that asset is complicated by not knowing when you are going to die. Moreover, just because it seems sensible doesn't mean the court will see it that way.

dadtotheend · #6 09-02-2008, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix99

dadtotheend:

Some other stuff just to fill in some of the blanks. She works and makes more than I do with my two part time jobs (with my pension removed from the equation). She also has a "for life" court support settlement from her previous husband that went all the way to the Ontario Supreme Court. Is it OK to assume she would not have to include this in her financial statement?
To me, the only real asset we both have is the increase in value of the home since we bought it a year before we were married...and whatever money her stock plan made since we married. I have offered to give her about 90 percent of the increase in the value of the home since we married and only take the stuff I had when we married. All this got me was threats that she will ruin me financially in the divorce. I asked her to please see a lawyer because she is still angry (which I understand) and get some advice.

Reading between the lines, I'm guessing that there aren't children involved leaving only spousal support to consider. Being a short marriage, it probably wouldn't be significant.

Being the matrimonial home, there is no recognition given to value at marriage date, it's a split of the equity at separation, period.

Let me get this straight, you're offering her 90% of your biggest asset (the home) and she is threatening to financially ruin you? That sounds pretty vindictive, or the words of a snake lawyer. You're entitled to half the equity, take it. No one, least of all your ex it sounds like, will be thanking you later if you walk away.

phoenix99 · #7 09-02-2008, 10:22 PM

Thanks again for the comments.
Does it matter at the end who put the most money down for the house when it was first bought?

phoenix99 · #8 09-03-2008, 12:00 PM

Finally talked to a lawyer this morning.
Confirmed much of what dadtothe end wrote in reply to my concerns....and more.
I am definately staying in the house and there no legal way she can ruin me.
I feel much better now.
This forum is a huge help to everyone who faces separation and divorce.

dadtotheend · #9 09-03-2008, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix99

Thanks again for the comments.
Does it matter at the end who put the most money down for the house when it was first bought?

No, doesn't matter. I found that out the hard way after putting down $80K in our home and she put nothing. Live and learn.

phoenix99 · #10 09-03-2008, 10:53 PM

80k? Ouch. Life can definately be unfair.
I sunk all my severance pay and other money into the house when we bought it. Hate to see it go because it will be the last house I will own, given my age.
You have been a real help. Your responses spurred me on to grab this situation by the horns and talk to a lawyer today.
It seems my situation is quite simple and clear cut. But we'll have to see about that. Whenever two or three lawyers are gathered together etc...
All I want is to sell the house so I can leave and get on with whats left of my life.
I'll report again on any developments.

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