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350 Mag · #11 01-28-2021, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alpinist

If she's been making 37,000 for the past 18 years that's what they're going to be looking at as status quo.

No she left work in 2002.

Went back to work part time 2013.

She is almost full time now....but has 7 weeks off in Summer.

Ya I was complacent....BUT IF men complain they are azzholes....

LovingDad1234 · #12 01-29-2021, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 350 Mag

I told her maybe she should call her old boss

You want your ex to contact her old boss from 18 years ago? Your ex's job likely got filled 18 years ago. Workplaces hire based on filling a vacancy, not to help resolve a conflict in figuring out the details of separation.

The best that your ex's old boss can do (that is if they still work there) is to say to keep eyes open for job openings and apply like everyone else.

I would drop this argument you are making. Posed to a lawyer, would be a waste of your money. Posed in court, would make you look foolish.

ifonlyihadknown · #13 01-29-2021, 09:38 AM

350 Mag,

The system is rigged.
Any good deed will be punished.
This line of argument will get you nothing.

On the other hand, have you heard of the "Rule of 65"? If you STBX's age plus the number of years you've been married add up to 65 or more, you could be on the hook for "indefinite" spousal support. Yes, it is as bad as it sounds. Hope, for your sake, it doesn't apply.

350 Mag · #14 01-29-2021, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovingDad1234

You want your ex to contact her old boss from 18 years ago? Your ex's job likely got filled 18 years ago. Workplaces hire based on filling a vacancy, not to help resolve a conflict in figuring out the details of separation.

The best that your ex's old boss can do (that is if they still work there) is to say to keep eyes open for job openings and apply like everyone else.

I would drop this argument you are making. Posed to a lawyer, would be a waste of your money. Posed in court, would make you look foolish.

Well....I guess IF she isn't willing to compromise....I will get "stressed" and have to take medical leave....

And possible end up with a minimum wage job?

That could very well happen.

Then she gets "0".

LovingDad1234 · #15 01-29-2021, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 350 Mag

Well....I guess IF she isn't willing to compromise....I will get "stressed" and have to take medical leave....

And possible end up with a minimum wage job?

That could very well happen.

Then she gets "0".

It has nothing to do with compromise. Workplaces have hiring practices and there needs to be a vacancy or position to fill. Your ex is welcome to apply to any job hiring postings out there, if she so chooses, but by is no means obligated at all. To ask her to contact her boss from 18 years ago isn't clear thinking, and is actually quite ridiculous (sorry).

On the flip side, for you to purposefully quit your job and purposefully make less money to shirk your financial obligations will look terribly against you. That is precisely why courts impute incomes. Would you rather be paying $X in supports on your current salary, or paying the same $X in supports while making significantly (and purposefully) less?

It is evident you are grieving the loss of your wife and marriage, which is perfectly normal....you may wish to seek speaking with a therapist to ensure clear thinking through this difficult process.

Janus · #16 01-29-2021, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 350 Mag

Well....I guess IF she isn't willing to compromise....I will get "stressed" and have to take medical leave....

And possible end up with a minimum wage job?

That could very well happen.

Then she gets "0".

Actually, they will impute income to you. Her income will be unaffected, you will still have to pay her the same amount. You will just have much less.

You aren't the first support payor to have the bright idea of reducing their income as revenge

.

350 Mag · #17 01-29-2021, 01:47 PM

So basically ....

I will be lucky to come away with the clothes on my backside....and she will be with another guy.

Marriage is the ultimate SCAM!

rockscan · #18 01-29-2021, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 350 Mag

So basically ....

I will be lucky to come away with the clothes on my backside....and she will be with another guy.

Marriage is the ultimate SCAM!

Wait a second. You had what, 20 years with a woman who gave you two kids, cared for your home and kids and gave you companionship. For whatever reason she fell out of love with you and wanted out. Making that decision was not easy.

You now have the opportunity to agree mutually on a financial way forward depending on the status of your income and what you built. Up until a day ago you were yammering on about how you wanted her to be happy and you loved her so much.

Marriage involves two people and you are both guilty for its failure and what went into it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

350 Mag · #19 01-29-2021, 04:11 PM

1) I BEGGED and PLEADED with her to keep her job.

2) We had a NICE home. Because we were making combined 120,000

3). She insisted she didn't care IF we made less money or had as nice house. She just wanted to be together as a family

We argued for a whole year about her quitting her job....I told her I was NOT happy at my job....and would look for work closer to our home.

4) In the end we moved away from friends, family, and ended up in a community far away from ANY support. We had no babysitter(parents or relatives) so we were always stuck with the kids and didn't get out much.

5) I struggled at work and with the pressure of being the number 1 provider so I was stressed out alot of the time. As I told her I did not enjoy my job.

6) She was not happy with our home. She complained constantly our house wasn't nice enough, we didn't have large savings, or rental properties like her sister....Who had a 70,000 /year job and her husband made 150,000/ year.

7) So after 17 years or so living here she decides she doesn't love me anymore?

So if I take home $2700 / 2weeks.

And the courts award her $2500/month.

Who wins and loses.

She has a college degree.....but chooses NOT to pursue a better paying Job?

The idea of spousal support is to compensate her for leaving her career to raise a family and to maintain her standard of living.

IF higher paying job is available is it unreasonable to ask her to expand her horizons?

I do love my wife very much, she is leaving, breaking up a family.....I and giving her $1500/ month....because I am keeping the 2 kids with me 90% of the time.

I feel worthless....and to add insult to injury I am still the "meal ticket".

All I want is a fair deal.....and for her to seek a better job?

She has education she should use it OR at least try ???

ifonlyihadknown · #20 01-31-2021, 12:50 PM

350 Mag,

Family court is the scam. Listen to rockscan since that is the point of view that family courts operate under. Janus also offers words of wisdom.

It's assumed that only your STBX contributed to the marriage and now must be compensated. Any contributions you made are ignored.

Any decision made by your STBX, you are assumed to have agreed with, even if you didn't and had no way of forcing her.

The marriage will end, your STBX will be free to live here life, and possibly be supported for life. You will be an indentured servant, forced to continue to provide for them even though the marriage is supposed to be over. Your responsibilities will continue. Your STBX has none and doesn't even have to try and support themselves. Why would they when they've won the "cash for life" lottery?

Getting married has become the riskiest financial gamble you can take. As Janus mentioned, the only prudent (and cold blooded) thing to do would have been to get divorced the minute your STBX decided not to go back to work.

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