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  • Access motion

    Can someone explain what an access motion is? I am getting threats of my ex going to pull one but logically it doesn’t make sense. He sees the kid when he can. Never have I stopped him but now because he wants a very weird schedule that I suspect is due to litigation reasons and I am disagreeing he is harassing me again and really inflating my legal bills on simple issues. Again he’s been pulling motions for over 4 months now so that I take with a grain of salt as well...

  • #2
    So let him file a motion. You gave him options and he refused them. Tell your lawyer to ignore anything but a motion.

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    • #3
      But if he pulls an unreasonable motion I would have to respond and it would cost money. In this regard would I be eligible to have my costs refunded. It seems so silly I need to pay for all of this for his anger.

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      • #4
        Don’t hold your breath on getting any costs back anytime soon. The case conference judges will just say costs are reserved which means nobody gets costs unless the matter goes to trial. I have been litigating for going on ten years now. Just last year for the first time I was awarded costs on a specific motion. The reason costs were awarded was because it involved my ex committing fraud and hiding assets. I was lucky to get costs but even then I did not get awarded 100% of my costs, only a portion. You just started on the litigation nightmare train, so don’t even think you’re going to get costs at this point.

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        • #5
          Call his bluff. He is trying to bully you into what he wants. Let him file a motion and go from there. You will need to see a judge at some point.

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          • #6
            My ex was abusive and after leaving him he found new ways to abuse me and that's legal abuse. Since March when this all began, his lawyer has been CONSTANTLY writing to my lawyer about nonsense. He has applied to two urgent motions and got denied before being offered a case conference. We got that done and he decided to apply for an urgent motion a third time (as you mentioned we have to reply to everything regardless which incurs my legal fees). when he got denied the third time, the judge told me that I am entitled to costs but he wants to give a chance for my ex to start paying me 250$ a month in child support and if he doesn't by XXXXX date then I can file my costs. SURPRISE! He didn't pay any child support so we applied for costs. His lawyer replied saying that I should get nothing. Judge came back in my favour and awarded me 80% of costs. Just to let you know it's been almost 6 months of this and I've spent 13 thousand dollars. Mainly on responding to his court applications and e-mails

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            • #7
              Sunshine20, try spending almost 10 years and close to $400,000. My ex was an abusive brain damaged alcoholic who unfortunately got a bundle of money in a personal injury settlement during our marriage. It’s criminal that the judges have allowed him to keep this going for so long. What really pissed him off was the three times I went self rep and that cost him a fortune in legal fees and me nothing. He is still livid that the judge recently made a costs award against him in my favour.

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              • #8
                Define a “weird” schedule. Sounds like he’s trying to be more involved, but in the wrong manner. He should be able to have a chat with you instead of court threats.

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                • #9
                  So he currently has every other weekend for the distance and splitting the holidays.
                  Now he wants to have a schedule for one week a month before our kid starts kindergarten. But he doesn’t want every month either. He wants specific months and Christmas and one weekend a month for the other ones. Essentially I feel he wants to use his vacation and then reduce his access but wants free reign of when to see the child. Honestly it seems very selfish to me. He has all this access and doesn’t use it and then wants more larger chunks of time for his convenience. He is in Montreal and I’m in Oakville.

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                  • #10
                    So put in the agreement that he must provide his designated weeks by January 1 every year and also provide notice 48 hours in advance should he need to cancel that months week. Make up time will be determined by each party in the best interest of the child and considering all parties schedules.

                    Most places require you to book off your time in advance and if he has a child he should be determining what weeks work well in advance.

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                    • #11
                      One parent in Montreal and the other in Oakville and the child was and lived where from birth and why would one of you move. Complex.

                      Your child is very young and removing the child from one parent for too long at that age is something you would want to seek professional advice on.

                      At that age a 2-2-5-5 schedule is very common and considered the healthier option.
                      When they become teenagers 1 week with one parent and the other week with the other is the norm.

                      He may try to register the child for school in Quebec. So if you agree to anything make sure you specify the region the child will be going to school.

                      Of course the parent with less time will usually end up bearing some stress issues with lack of access. Instead of fighting, if possible, find a way to make them feel more comfortable with access. Longer weekends may suit him and his work schedule. It is not an easy situation to cope with for anyone involved.

                      What is going to happen after school starts, things eventually will settle down. Try calling CAS or some other child based organization for advice on what you and he can do to help. This is not something the cold hand of law deals with well.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
                        One parent in Montreal and the other in Oakville and the child was and lived where from birth and why would one of you move. Complex.

                        Your child is very young and removing the child from one parent for too long at that age is something you would want to seek professional advice on.

                        At that age a 2-2-5-5 schedule is very common and considered the healthier option.
                        When they become teenagers 1 week with one parent and the other week with the other is the norm.

                        He may try to register the child for school in Quebec. So if you agree to anything make sure you specify the region the child will be going to school.

                        Of course the parent with less time will usually end up bearing some stress issues with lack of access. Instead of fighting, if possible, find a way to make them feel more comfortable with access. Longer weekends may suit him and his work schedule. It is not an easy situation to cope with for anyone involved.

                        What is going to happen after school starts, things eventually will settle down. Try calling CAS or some other child based organization for advice on what you and he can do to help. This is not something the cold hand of law deals with well.

                        Pink, you may want to go back and review this case posts. Mother was allowed to move by father and has been in new location for a long enough period. Now that father has to pay cs he has suddenly begun being difficult. This isn’t a case of mom stealing child, moving unilaterally or forcing dad to accept it. Dad has suddenly pulled back since he found out he has to pay for his child.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                          Pink, you may want to go back and review this case posts. Mother was allowed to move by father and has been in new location for a long enough period. Now that father has to pay cs he has suddenly begun being difficult. This isn�t a case of mom stealing child, moving unilaterally or forcing dad to accept it. Dad has suddenly pulled back since he found out he has to pay for his child.
                          No.
                          I am not the posters lawyer and they don't have a case file on here.
                          Because I did not know what was going on the only advice I provided was:

                          "He may try to register the child for school in Quebec. So if you agree to anything make sure you specify the region the child will be going to school."

                          I don't know the dads motivation and neither do you, people change.
                          We have been through this before, please stop.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by pinkHouses View Post
                            No.
                            I am not the posters lawyer and they don't have a case file on here.
                            Because I did not know what was going on the only advice I provided was:

                            "He may try to register the child for school in Quebec. So if you agree to anything make sure you specify the region the child will be going to school."

                            I don't know the dads motivation and neither do you, people change.
                            We have been through this before, please stop.

                            You’re making vague comments about a child custody situation as if the parents are in the same city.

                            Before you go making various posts with information that is not correct or confuses the original poster in their question, read the background to know the details.

                            And don’t bother sending me private messages. You can save yourself time and energy as this wasn’t your thread.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                              You�re making vague comments about a child custody situation as if the parents are in the same city.

                              Before you go making various posts with information that is not correct or confuses the original poster in their question, read the background to know the details.

                              And don�t bother sending me private messages. You can save yourself time and energy as this wasn�t your thread.
                              [personal attacks deleted by Admin]
                              Last edited by Jeff; 09-29-2020, 05:03 PM. Reason: personal attacks

                              Comment

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