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kate331 · #21 12-24-2018, 07:07 PM

I feel your pain, my ex did the exact same thing. And to be honest, it drove me nuts the first year. I think you will eventually be able to say both "girlfriend" or "partner", or simply refer to her by her given name. What till your kids start calling her Mom, that's a kicker!!!

I was pissed my ex introduced the "new Mom" within weeks of us separating. I felt it was too much for the children, he did not. Its two different parenting styles.

Fasten your seat belt, if you think this process is quick and painless, it can takes years with a stubborn ex.

Janus · #22 12-24-2018, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fairlight

Ok, what's the appropriate legal word then? I do cringe a bit at using a word like "girlfriend" or "partner".

Just to reiterate what Arabian said, the appropriate word is to not refer to her at all. She is not a party to the dispute. She is completely and utterly irrelevant.

Quote:

I have nothing against her personally

You have nothing personally against the women who wrecked your marriage and screwed up the lives of your children? I assume it was totally his fault of course.

Quote:

but I do want my husband to show a little respect for the marriage and family he created with me and wait until the divorce is final before throwing a third party at the kids.

That might be nice, but a dirty secret of divorce is that you essentially lose a lot of control over your ex spouse. You have no leverage. Your kids will meet the girlfriend, and it is likely that the more you kick and scream, the more he will push to include her in his life.

Quote:

That seems fair, and I am willing to be fair in return toward him and make the process as quick and painless as possible. But he doesn't play fair.

So, your plan is that, in retaliation for him introducing his mistress to the kids, you're going to go to court and wreck your finances?

It is likely that he is telling everyone how unfair you are being. He just wants to move on with his life and you have decided to throw a temper tantrum and spend the kid's university money on lawyers.

Forget the new girlfriend. Trust me, we get it, it sucks. However, court doesn't help heal hurt feelings. You win by living a better life. Make an offer to settle and move on with your life.

fairlight · #23 12-26-2018, 12:16 PM

We're in court already. I'm the respondent, not the applicant, defending against his false allegations. I have never taken him to court over any issue.

rockscan · #24 12-26-2018, 12:24 PM

What exactly are the allegations? Unless he is saying you are withholding access, the rest can be ignored.

OrleansLawyer · #25 12-30-2018, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Would naming her help me and the children out financially, since she is the sole provider at their house?

No. Adultery is related to the claim for divorce, not any of the financial claims.

You can show that he is being supported by her as part of a claim for imputing an income to him without claiming adultery as grounds for divorce.

Quote:

Depending on when he acquired the debt, you could be on the hook for 1/2 of it, if it was during the marriage.

That is not entirely accurate. It depends on net family property. You do not share debt; one person owes the other an equalization payment (which will be impacted by the debt). NFP cannot be negative, however.

Quote:

You actually can't name the "mistress" as a party to the matter as they are not a party to the matter.

While correct that you do not name the other party as a co-Respondent, if you name someone as having committed adultery with your spouse then you must serve that person as well as the responding party.

ForumUser · #26 01-05-2019, 12:16 AM

LOL....I prefer " skank".......thanks for the chuckle!!!!!

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