EDIT: title supposed to say .."anyone else hate having to open up messages from their ex"
Just curious if this is something every separated parent feels? I find the messages are either, unnecessary, mostly intended as a "haha made you look!", have a cute little condescending note, usually followed by a demand, a nice and sweet note that is really sarcastic and an insult in disguise, or a threat that if I don't do something schedule a next appointment by X date, then she will go against our agreement and schedule and take the child herself. basically the therapist called mom that a next session should happen and so mom calls me and gives me a week to schedule the next one, or that she will do it. The agreement is just that we will take turns to schedule them. Of course, she does not word them in such an obvious way so it would be very easy for a judge to find out her true motives and intends behind the messages.
I'm just keeping shut and giving into some of her demands because the agreement is not fully finalized and she could easily change her mind about some of the arrangements we have agreed to if I happen to piss her off just enough. I'm waiting for the agreement to be in a final order then will likely be asking her to respect our agreement on communications - basically we have a clause that we agree to be cordial and pleasant in communications, and not making demands, which she keeps going in non compliance of and sending me upsetting messages. The messages also seem to have an effect on my self esteem, causing some anxiety and effecting my focus.
Anyone else experiencing these things with their crazy and/or controlling exes ? I have tried the ignoring and just not opening up the messages but then she sometimes finds ways to seek important info in the messages, so I am sort of forced to read them. If I don't, or don't respond, then she, in the next message, says she will assume X if I don't respond or do Y by Z date - totally unreasonable and tries to punish me for not responding to her crazy prior messages, and to also control my scheduling of the child's appointments. It should be I schedule them when I feel like it - not when she wants me to do so by placing self made up deadlines and sort of setting up herself for a victim card to go against the actual agreement.
Just curious if this is something every separated parent feels? I find the messages are either, unnecessary, mostly intended as a "haha made you look!", have a cute little condescending note, usually followed by a demand, a nice and sweet note that is really sarcastic and an insult in disguise, or a threat that if I don't do something schedule a next appointment by X date, then she will go against our agreement and schedule and take the child herself. basically the therapist called mom that a next session should happen and so mom calls me and gives me a week to schedule the next one, or that she will do it. The agreement is just that we will take turns to schedule them. Of course, she does not word them in such an obvious way so it would be very easy for a judge to find out her true motives and intends behind the messages.
I'm just keeping shut and giving into some of her demands because the agreement is not fully finalized and she could easily change her mind about some of the arrangements we have agreed to if I happen to piss her off just enough. I'm waiting for the agreement to be in a final order then will likely be asking her to respect our agreement on communications - basically we have a clause that we agree to be cordial and pleasant in communications, and not making demands, which she keeps going in non compliance of and sending me upsetting messages. The messages also seem to have an effect on my self esteem, causing some anxiety and effecting my focus.
Anyone else experiencing these things with their crazy and/or controlling exes ? I have tried the ignoring and just not opening up the messages but then she sometimes finds ways to seek important info in the messages, so I am sort of forced to read them. If I don't, or don't respond, then she, in the next message, says she will assume X if I don't respond or do Y by Z date - totally unreasonable and tries to punish me for not responding to her crazy prior messages, and to also control my scheduling of the child's appointments. It should be I schedule them when I feel like it - not when she wants me to do so by placing self made up deadlines and sort of setting up herself for a victim card to go against the actual agreement.
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