Originally posted by ensorcelled
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Point being, my son will probably be out-earning his partner. As long as women think it is reasonable to "lean back", men should be avoiding marriage.
I would have loved to "lean back". It's nice for women that they get the option of leaning back, not so nice for the men who are married to them and subsequently divorced.
2- Again, no. Men who are married make more money than men who are not.
Of course married people tend to do better than unmarried people. Is a study actually needed to confirm the obvious?
3-I would encourage my hypothetical daughter to work as hard as she can, keep her skills as relevant as possible, keep a foot in the workforce when she decides to have children and not to bank on a man's money in any context (he could die, he could lose his job, or end up being Charlie Rose).
Actively telling your daughters to 'marry up' reinforces sexist tropes we are trying (desperately) to overcome, on this forum and elsewhere.
My son, on the other hand, risks a lot by marrying, therefore he should not.
Most women on this forum would happily remarry. (The couple who wouldn't will likely chirp up now but that's not conclusive). There's a reason for that. Women can have a shitty relationship, but the crappy part comes from the relationship, not the marriage.
To reiterate, yet again.
The MARRIAGE part of marriage is bad for men. It creates obligations for men, and rights for women. It is likely good for men to be in a relationship, but the marriage part of the relationship is not a good thing.
Of course, we all know this is true. That's why women are so keen to marry, and men are labeled as phobic of commitment. Deep down, women know that marriage is an awesome deal, legally speaking. Deep down, men know that marriage sucks for them, legally speaking.
Women should insist on marriage. Just like I insisted on a contract at my place of employment. The contract mostly helps me, not my employer. The marriage contract mostly helps women, not men. If my son can get out of signing such a one-way contract, good for him! If my daughters choose not to take advantage of this one-way contract, that's a mistake.
For women, there is a strong case for marriage. For men, there is a strong case to avoid marriage, if the woman will allow it. When men start receiving substantial levels of spousal support, we'll revisit the topic.
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