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Transitioning from little kid to big kid and parenting agreement

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  • Transitioning from little kid to big kid and parenting agreement

    How did things change as children became older teens and started to live their own lives and not want to follow the parenting plan, such as where to spend time in weekends or summers and get own jobs etc. Did you still follow it to the tee? Let child have more say with both parents cooperating? Or did it lead to litigation or arguments about teen or between tee and parent? Not there yet but wondering how others have felt with this for teens

  • #2
    This is a difficult question that you can’t really anticipate because it depends on how you parent and what kind of relationship you have with your child.

    The best thing you can do is develop a strong relationship with your child and not involve them in any disagreements you have with the other parent. If one of you has to “force” the child then you have done something wrong.

    Kids are going to grow up, make friends, get jobs, want their freedom. Be there for them. Provide a welcome space for them where they want to have their friends over, offer to shuttle them to work and school, talk to them and respect them as teens with growing interest etc.

    You can have an iron clad agreement that you both attempt to follow but what works for kids doesnt necessarily work for teens. You will have to be flexible and work together.

    Thats the best advice I can give from a child of divorce perspective, a friend of divorced parents who accommodated perspective and the partner of a divorced parent with a difficult relationship perspective.

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    • #3
      I am of the mind that as kids age they have say in their lives and their summers and should find a job, but I am pretty worried if the kids plans interfer with ex's weekends, kid is going to hear all about it. Just not really sure how to handle that when the time comes.

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      • #4
        I'm going through that conundrum currently...it's a juggling act trying to balance the teens' want for some control/say in their lives.


        And teens are inherently so self-centered that it makes it like juggling 5 balls of different weights lol

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        • #5
          Do you an ex agree on how they should spend time?

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