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  #1  
Old 08-19-2019, 03:55 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Default Done- final minutes of settlement.

Final minutes of settlement signed.

Parenting:

I have sole custody. No restrictions. I will consult with him on all major decisions about her health and before I register her in a new school. I agree that where there is disagreement, we use our PC. If we donít agree- I have final say.

We have a graduated parenting schedule that builds up to Wednesday nights, and EOW. All exchanges at school.

Holidays split even-steven, starting when sheís 6.

When sheís 5, he gets another afternoon for an after school activity- the activity has to be on mutual consent. He takes her, I pick up.

We will meet with our PC every month during the transitional schedule and once a year thereafter. When sheís 6 we will reassess access with the help of our PC. But MOS specifically states that these meetings do not constitute a material change in circumstances (I donít know why fuck his lawyer didnít object to that language). But whatever, in my view thatís actually what these meetings are for. I would rather pay our PC than lawyers.

Financial:

Judges position- I have a shit legal case(D.O.M. deductions effed me big time- and just in general as being the breadwinner paying for everything), but a strong argument in equity. She told us both to compromise. My lawyer was luckily aggressive as fuck and made the suggestion that we split the amount and put the entire amount into an RESP for D3. To be in both our names. For post secondary, the RESP will be deducted off the top. The remainder is a section 7 expense.

Judge told my ex to STRONGLY consider that a reasonable compromise.

So 60k apart. 30k from my exís share of the proceeds of the house goes to D3ís RESP.

Section 7s split 60/40. Two activities are included- up to $2000 a year. Anything beyond the 2 activities and medical and dental must be on consent.

And thatís all she wrote.

I thought Iíd feel happier. Iím not. Just sad. But I am bit hopeful for our daughter.
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Old 08-19-2019, 03:58 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Thank you guys so much. All of you. This site has been truly invaluable to me. Iím not naive, I know this is only the beginning. But thereís so much experience and great advice to be had here.
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Old 08-19-2019, 04:18 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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More than likely its sadness from the end of the entire thing and your adrenaline through it all.

You did good. Get some rest and find something positive to focus your energy on. In a week or so you will move past this low point and be happier.
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Old 08-19-2019, 07:58 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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well done !

now you can move forward

enjoy yourself ! treat yourself !
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Old 08-19-2019, 09:08 PM
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You don't feel it now, but a month from now you will realize that you are much more relaxed. I didn't feel it right away either, probably a bit of denial that it was actually over
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Old 08-19-2019, 11:03 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Happy for you!! My mess is still ongoing.. got the most ridiculous offer to settle today... so frustrating. At this point I would rather a judge make our order. That is how bad the offer was...

I am glad you got it done. Hmm maybe I should ask for a parenting coordinator. Maybe they would help my ex actually make decisions on his own regarding our kids.



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Old 08-19-2019, 11:14 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
Happy for you!! My mess is still ongoing.. got the most ridiculous offer to settle today... so frustrating. At this point I would rather a judge make our order. That is how bad the offer was...

I am glad you got it done. Hmm maybe I should ask for a parenting coordinator. Maybe they would help my ex actually make decisions on his own regarding our kids.



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PCs arenít for everyone. It wasnít mediation, so the good thing was that I didnít need my ex to be reasonable. She honestly didnít care about what my ex wanted and viewed my fears and concerns through a limited lens. It was her saying - this is whatís in D3s best interest. And we both listened. And it was a lot cheaper than lawyers. She was expensive at $275/hr. But we split it and I had most of mine covered by my insurance because she was registered therapist.


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Old 08-19-2019, 11:20 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Wow nice!! My ex actually put he wants one or mediation again before we can bring custody or access back to court. This coming from the man that says he is broke and canít afford anything. Maybe I should agree to that clause and say the person who doesnít agree (which will be him) can pay the bill. If I can find one thatís a registered therapist I am sure she would see what my ex has offered is off the wall and not in kids best interest. He basically wants to shake their whole world and schedule upside down after 6 years of a schedule that works and a judge who told him nothing will change... no joint. Maybe some minor tweaking if anything. I just canít believe any lawyer would sign their name to what he sent. Thatís how awful it is.

He disputed the OCL.. and itís not even slightly in line with what ocl recommended either. Just blows my mind.


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Old 08-20-2019, 10:54 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
Happy for you!! My mess is still ongoing.. got the most ridiculous offer to settle today... so frustrating. At this point I would rather a judge make our order. That is how bad the offer was...

I am glad you got it done. Hmm maybe I should ask for a parenting coordinator. Maybe they would help my ex actually make decisions on his own regarding our kids.



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You've already done one settlement conference, right?

Just keep pushing to trial. Don't waste money on correspondence through the lawyers.
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Old 08-20-2019, 11:04 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
You've already done one settlement conference, right?



Just keep pushing to trial. Don't waste money on correspondence through the lawyers.


We have another settlement conference again sept. Which I think is a waste. With the same judge who already told dad to basically go fly a kite... so what is point of another one. Like these people really are insane and I am starting to wonder about their judgement.

He put that he wants to be able to make an emergency medical decision without my knowing and only have to tell me two hours after the fact? If kids are in his care?? Like he canít even compose an email(he admits this himself to OCL). Has a processing delay or disorder that everyone three diff therapists and ocl told him to see a neurologist. And he think I would even consider this bs?? I am sure a judge would laugh. He has never had to make one single decision for our kids ever. When he is asked which he always has been. he gives no input.

Just the dumbest offer I have ever seen.

Puts I must notify him 2 days in advance if the kids are sick before his access. ?? Lol

Or first right of refusal after 9 hours. I must give him 36 hrs notice that I need a sitter and he has 48 hrs to respond. If he ignores I can make my own arrangements. Lol. It actually says that. If he ignores. Clearly he canít do simple math either.

So many other dumb things.

Week on week off during the summer. Plus he gets two weeks vacation on top of those weeks. So that leaves me with what?? Two weeks all summer?? He wants the kids left with his partner and her 3 kids so he doesnít have to pay for daycare or camp. Which they have attended the last 5 years...

I know most of it wonít fly... just the audacity to even write this stuff on paper just floors me.


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