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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #131  
Old 10-08-2019, 09:49 AM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Originally Posted by cashcow4ex View Post
Okay I'm going to say it.

I'm truly flabbergasted at how many of our members that have blindly jumped onto this sinking ship!

Doesn't anyone else see what I am seeing?

It's bloody obvious and painful reading some of these posts.

I feel like there are huge chunks missing to this story. What are you seeing?
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  #132  
Old 10-08-2019, 09:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Mummaa222 View Post
Care to elaborate on what you see that makes me "clearly" unstable?

No, I think I gave you too much already.


Unlike some people here, I'm not afflicted by judge worship. They can be easily fooled. If I tell you why you come off as unstable you can cover that up during your impending trial.

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A security clearance for a non-parent is the law, I believe?
Call the police and report the stepmom then. Cheaper than a trial!
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  #133  
Old 10-08-2019, 10:00 AM
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Exactly. We arenít being told the whole story...the real story.
Weíve been told everything that's needed in order to have this forum rally behind her.

Thereís reasons that the father got sole custody. Thereís reasons why she moved hours away from the kids. Thereís reason why the judge awarded the step mom temp custody. Theres reason why no visitation schedule was introduced during the temp custody situation. Thereís reasons why no agencies found any proof of alienation. Thereís reasons why the kids broke all contact with her.
Weíre just not being told that part.

It seems that the judges, CAS, the father, the step mom, and the children might have the missing info though.

Last edited by cashcow4ex; 10-08-2019 at 10:14 AM.
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  #134  
Old 10-08-2019, 10:17 AM
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My advice has been to involve children's services as it seems rather odd that step-mother (temporary or not) has kept children from the mother.

I am curious also, no mention of cause of death of father. Drug-related? Presumably he was a relatively young man?

There was heavy mention and denial of alcohol but I don't recall any mention of substance abuse. The two often go together.

I wonder if grand parents have contacted children services to try to see their grand children?
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  #135  
Old 10-08-2019, 11:22 AM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I am curious also, no mention of cause of death of father. Drug-related? Presumably he was a relatively young man?
She did mention in one post that it was a heart attack I believe. Which can be drug related
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  #136  
Old 10-08-2019, 11:29 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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There does appear to be a lot of information missing. Iím curious as to whether or not the OP went to the police about the text or CAS as Arabian suggested. If she hasnít yet taken those steps I would wonder why not? If she has it would be interesting to know the results.

I also agree with Janus that judges can easily be fooled. In this situation that could apply to the girlfriend and deceased ex having alienated the OP while fooling the judge or the OP fooling the judge in some manner.

The OP mentioned having anxiety issues I believe. I hope she is getting support through this challenging time. If the girlfriendís texts are true it sounds like she needs counselling and has issues. As anonymous members on a divorce forum chat board we are naturally not privy to all the many relevant details of this unique family court situation. We can only go by the scant information given and use our collective personal experiences with family court to offer opinions and advice to the OP.

To the OP. Thank you for having the courage to post about your unique situation. It does have many of us thinking and has stirred a lively debate. Please donít take offence to any posters who disagree with you or challenge your position. If anything, opposing opinions or harsh criticism can be used to strengthen your position by giving you pause to think about how others may react. Itís a great opportunity to learn and reflect. Ask yourself if there is any merit to the criticism, if not ignore and move on. If there is some merit to the criticism then reflect on it and be glad you have an opportunity to fix things, adjust your behaviour, stance, etc. True power comes in knowing when something is or isnít your fault, moving on when it isnít and taking full responsibility when it is.

Good luck and please keep us posted.
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  #137  
Old 10-08-2019, 03:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Selfrepmom View Post
She did mention in one post that it was a heart attack I believe. Which can be drug related
lets not jump on the drug use bandwagon. There is no proof and I expect the OP would have jumped right on that in her first post.

I worked with a guy who had a heart attack at 49. Non smoker, not overweight, active and non drug user. Turns out he had a undetected heart defect.
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  #138  
Old 10-08-2019, 03:34 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cashcow4ex View Post
Exactly. We arenít being told the whole story...the real story.
Weíve been told everything that's needed in order to have this forum rally behind her.

Thereís reasons that the father got sole custody. Thereís reasons why she moved hours away from the kids. Thereís reason why the judge awarded the step mom temp custody. Theres reason why no visitation schedule was introduced during the temp custody situation. Thereís reasons why no agencies found any proof of alienation. Thereís reasons why the kids broke all contact with her.
Weíre just not being told that part.

It seems that the judges, CAS, the father, the step mom, and the children might have the missing info though.
you hit the nail on the head. She isnt going to tell us stuff that makes her look bad, that is human nature.
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  #139  
Old 10-08-2019, 03:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Mummaa222 View Post
That totally depends on if a psychological evaluation is done and the outcome of that. If a psychologist says the dad's girlfriend has done nothing wrong and is perfectly sane and not a threat to my daughters, then yes, I would.

I, honestly, would be very surprised if that happens though. All the signs point to her not being "okay".

I'm not perfect, far from it, but I'm honest and have never in my life purposely hurt another human being no matter how much I dislike them. I'm an empath and I feel for everyone...try as I may, I'm incapable of hate. Except for this woman, I can and do hate her and for someone like me that's huge...and it's exhausting.
so your daughters are NOT free to love who they want. You put conditions on it. You and the step mom clash, could be her fault, your fault or both.

You say that you have never purposely hurt another human being but you are wanting to cut off all contact between the girls and their stepmom. Do you not thing that is going to hurt the girls and the stepmom?

Please do not say you are incapable of hate. Your hate for the stepmom is shining through everytime you mention her. You are capable of hate and of hurting someone.

You need to wrap your head around that the oldest may want to stay with the stable influence that has been in her life which seems like it has been a while. You said the stepmom made comments about your son when he was your daughters age. He is 25 i believe and your oldest is 14 so stepmom has been in the picture for 11 years or more.

You want to believe that the stepmom is totally evil etc. She may not be. The kids may not want to see you due to stuff that happened in the past. Aim for try to co-parent the kids with the stepmom for now. As the kids get older and you prove that they can trust you to be there for them, they may gradually stop seeing the stepmom and it would be their choice. That would make it easier. Cutting off all contact with the stepmom when they want a relationship with her is not the way to go.

Here is a question...if you do get custody do you expect CS from the stepmom?
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  #140  
Old 10-08-2019, 04:00 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
so your daughters are NOT free to love who they want. You put conditions on it. You and the step mom clash, could be her fault, your fault or both.



You say that you have never purposely hurt another human being but you are wanting to cut off all contact between the girls and their stepmom. Do you not thing that is going to hurt the girls and the stepmom?



Please do not say you are incapable of hate. Your hate for the stepmom is shining through everytime you mention her. You are capable of hate and of hurting someone.



You need to wrap your head around that the oldest may want to stay with the stable influence that has been in her life which seems like it has been a while. You said the stepmom made comments about your son when he was your daughters age. He is 25 i believe and your oldest is 14 so stepmom has been in the picture for 11 years or more.



You want to believe that the stepmom is totally evil etc. She may not be. The kids may not want to see you due to stuff that happened in the past. Aim for try to co-parent the kids with the stepmom for now. As the kids get older and you prove that they can trust you to be there for them, they may gradually stop seeing the stepmom and it would be their choice. That would make it easier. Cutting off all contact with the stepmom when they want a relationship with her is not the way to go.



Here is a question...if you do get custody do you expect CS from the stepmom?


Agreed... and seeing as the oldest is 14, if she is close to her step mom Iíd totally expect to see this teenager leave her mother as soon as possible (next year or two?) and go back to the step mother... so maybe mom removes them from stepmoms life for a year or two but Iíd bet mom ends up losing them in the future to step mom... it has to be about the girls and not the adults. There is a reason Dad got custody, there is a reason no professionals saw any coaching going on. Iíd assume the OP saw her lawyer already but isnít saying what the lawyer said about step mom getting custody


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alienated, death, p.a.s., sole custody, step-mother


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