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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 10-07-2019, 10:31 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
Iím pretty sure this poster actually has joint custody, but mom has primary residence and OP is an EOW dad. It seems he just constantly says he has 50/50.

So if mom wants to change child to a school near their house, I donít see the issue?
EOW is irrelevant. If they have joint custody, decisions like moving schools must be made jointly. It may be more convenient or whatever, but that is not the point. Convenience of a parent is not always in the best interests of the child. If the change is in the best interests of the child, than they should put that argument forward and try reach an agreement. And if no agreement can be found, than they take it to court. Unilaterally deciding to change schools is not acting in good faith or as a joint custodial parent.

I don't see why we would be flippant with joint custodial decisions because it may be easier on the parent who has the kid more.
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  #12  
Old 10-07-2019, 11:13 AM
Mother Mother is offline
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Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
EOW is irrelevant. If they have joint custody, decisions like moving schools must be made jointly. It may be more convenient or whatever, but that is not the point. Convenience of a parent is not always in the best interests of the child. If the change is in the best interests of the child, than they should put that argument forward and try reach an agreement. And if no agreement can be found, than they take it to court. Unilaterally deciding to change schools is not acting in good faith or as a joint custodial parent.

I don't see why we would be flippant with joint custodial decisions because it may be easier on the parent who has the kid more.
You nailed it, HD! Exactly the case. EOW is absolutely irrelevant. Both parents have 50/50 legal custody yet one parent consistently and continuously makes unilateral decisions undermining existing court order and parental role of another parent. Only when faced with the actions from the authorities, that parent started to actually discuss the change, not before. Before was this: I changed the schools, nothing you can do about it.

Yet during this discussion that same parent complains that the drive for them will be horrible, longer and very inconvenient. The question was posted: "How do you want me to drive in the morning?


For the record. The drive to the new school is 4 (four) minutes longer than to the old school for that parent. A google map was sent showing it yet: it will be so inconvenient for me and kid. All in writing!

This parent knows all too well, child had some serious problems last year, they were addressed and there are some encouraging signs of improvement. Moving schools will jeopardize this.

There is so much more to this, I just cannot discuss it here. So no to the move. Yes to the revision of this move before next school year based on the condition of the child.

The party that has to drive 4 more minutes will survive their own horrible, unthinkable inconveniences.

Last edited by Mother; 10-07-2019 at 11:15 AM.
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  #13  
Old 10-07-2019, 11:26 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
EOW is irrelevant. If they have joint custody, decisions like moving schools must be made jointly. It may be more convenient or whatever, but that is not the point. Convenience of a parent is not always in the best interests of the child. If the change is in the best interests of the child, than they should put that argument forward and try reach an agreement. And if no agreement can be found, than they take it to court. Unilaterally deciding to change schools is not acting in good faith or as a joint custodial parent.

I don't see why we would be flippant with joint custodial decisions because it may be easier on the parent who has the kid more.
I'm not being flippant. What I'm doing is pointing out that this poster continually posts that they have joint 50/50, when in fact they have joint custody- with primary residence to the other parent. They don't have shared custody. As the child is with one parent the majority of the time.

Can the other parent move schools, unilaterally? No. But this poster also likes to play chicken little and made an entire thread on how they can get around the whole joint custody issue to take the child to have psychological testing done. See here: https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...ad.php?t=22440

The poster likes to post 1/2 the story- presumably their half. Not saying the other parent is right for lying and making unilateral decisions without consulting. But this poster does not seem to be coming to the table with clean hands.

Last edited by iona6656; 10-07-2019 at 11:30 AM.
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  #14  
Old 10-07-2019, 11:41 AM
Mother Mother is offline
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Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
I'm not being flippant. What I'm doing is pointing out that this poster continually posts that they have joint 50/50, when in fact they have joint custody- with primary residence to the other parent. They don't have shared custody. As the child is with one parent the majority of the time.

Can the other parent move schools, unilaterally? No. But this poster also likes to play chicken little and made an entire thread on how they can get around the whole joint custody issue to take the child to have psychological testing done. See here: https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...ad.php?t=22440

The poster likes to post 1/2 the story- presumably their half. Not saying the other parent is right for lying and making unilateral decisions without consulting. But this poster does not seem to be coming to the table with clean hands.

This poster owes you nothing and that the one and only thing I will ever tell you.


Forgot to mention. Thank you for your input but I am not interested in your opinion so you can skip all my posts you are so religiously following and commenting on.

Last edited by Mother; 10-07-2019 at 11:43 AM.
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  #15  
Old 10-07-2019, 11:52 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Originally Posted by Mother View Post
This poster owes you nothing and that the one and only thing I will ever tell you.


Forgot to mention. Thank you for your input but I am not interested in your opinion so you can skip all my posts you are so religiously following and commenting on.
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  #16  
Old 10-07-2019, 11:58 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
I'm not being flippant. What I'm doing is pointing out that this poster continually posts that they have joint 50/50, when in fact they have joint custody- with primary residence to the other parent. They don't have shared custody. As the child is with one parent the majority of the time.

Can the other parent move schools, unilaterally? No. But this poster also likes to play chicken little and made an entire thread on how they can get around the whole joint custody issue to take the child to have psychological testing done. See here: https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...ad.php?t=22440

The poster likes to post 1/2 the story- presumably their half. Not saying the other parent is right for lying and making unilateral decisions without consulting. But this poster does not seem to be coming to the table with clean hands.


Iím with you... the poster poses all their posts with half info to try and make their position the right one. This poster doesnít have 50-50 custody... they have joint custody and EOW access... totally different things, but they like to leave that part out. I agree that access doesnít mean much with major decisions like school, but if itís only a four minute difference and the new school is in the primary parents area, then most likely the school will be changed. Cross boarding isnít always allowed


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  #17  
Old 10-07-2019, 12:45 PM
Mother Mother is offline
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Iím with you... the poster poses all their posts with half info to try and make their position the right one. This poster doesnít have 50-50 custody... they have joint custody and EOW access... totally different things, but they like to leave that part out. I agree that access doesnít mean much with major decisions like school, but if itís only a four minute difference and the new school is in the primary parents area, then most likely the school will be changed. Cross boarding isnít always allowed


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Yes BF, you are right on this, it calls joint custody,. my mistake. Apologize.


This how it was explained/called so I guess it stuck in my mind.



I leave a lot of parts out for the obvious reasons. These parts do not change any facts.



Cheers
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  #18  
Old 10-07-2019, 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
EOW is irrelevant. If they have joint custody, decisions like moving schools must be made jointly.
This is more like one of those

"Decisions must be made jointly. In the event of a disagreement, the (specific parent)'s decision will prevail."

Maybe in theory it should be joint, but in reality it is not joint at all.


Quote:
I don't see why we would be flippant with joint custodial decisions because it may be easier on the parent who has the kid more.
Not flippant. The reality is that it is almost always (and in over 99% of the case law I have seen) in the best interests of a child to be close to a school that is near the primary residence.

If you are an EOW parent, you had better have a really solid evidence-backed reason against switching schools or it is going to happen. Something along the lines of a unique educational program that is especially well-suited to the child, or a special needs kid that has an exceptionally difficult time with change.
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  #19  
Old 10-07-2019, 04:35 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post



If you are an EOW parent, you had better have a really solid evidence-backed reason against switching schools or it is going to happen. Something along the lines of a unique educational program that is especially well-suited to the child, or a special needs kid that has an exceptionally difficult time with change.


Especially when the new school (according to Google Maps!) is only four minutes away... if the primary parent is out of the school zone and the previous school offers no special programs, I bet the new school wins


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  #20  
Old 10-07-2019, 05:58 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post
This is more like one of those

"Decisions must be made jointly. In the event of a disagreement, the (specific parent)'s decision will prevail."

Maybe in theory it should be joint, but in reality it is not joint at all.
I agree, it may be. But "may be" is speculation, and what the OP says is they have joint. In most instances where parents share joint custody it is "decisions must be made jointly. In the event of a disagreement the parties shall seek [insert dispute resolution mechanism here ie. arbitration/mediation etc.]"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Not flippant. The reality is that it is almost always (and in over 99% of the case law I have seen) in the best interests of a child to be close to a school that is near the primary residence.

If you are an EOW parent, you had better have a really solid evidence-backed reason against switching schools or it is going to happen. Something along the lines of a unique educational program that is especially well-suited to the child, or a special needs kid that has an exceptionally difficult time with change.
This I also agree with. Outside of not being consulted and/or the ex seeking the OP's consent, being EOW and not really having to deal with school days on a regular basis, the OP doesn't have much skin in the game. But joint is joint, and unilaterally making decisions is poor form if it is truly joint custody.
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