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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 09-20-2019, 02:56 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
The teachers and principals were definitely instructed to communicate with dad.

I sent the info at begin of school as a courtesy.
Why are you doing him favours? You are not together anymore. Stop mothering him and let him and/or his gf get the info for themselves.

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Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
Dad is also signed up for the apps... as I can se his name. So if she needs to know she can get updates from dad. Not directly from the teachers.


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Iím with Iona on this one. Who cares if itís your ex or the teachers giving her the info? You know that either way she is going to find out. Itís not like she has any say in their education and the teachers already know this. You calling the school waving around the custody order and making them take her off only makes you look like the controlling and high conflict one. Also you seem very bothered by the fact that she has assumed his last name online. Who cares? It makes no difference. My exís gf gave herself his last name over a year ago on social media. Not my business.
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  #12  
Old 09-20-2019, 03:10 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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In summary, my take on this:

-You regularly try to communicate/mother/whatever with your ex. If everything was hunky dory this might be ok. But your situation seems to be more high conflict, so you need to scale back

-Your exís new gf is threatened by this behaviour. She doesnít like you acting like you are still a big part of her manís life, and doesnít want anybody but her to do the mothering/whatever

-The gf begins trying to mark her territory (re: using his last name, using his email, creating an account on the school app etc). This is her saying ďThis(aka your ex) belongs to ME. Back the fuck offĒ She is also probably trying to get access to info first so she can inform him before you can (thereby rendering your phone calls/emails to him useless and eliminating his dependence on you)

- You begin to get irritated by this behaviour and try to insert yourself more into the circus (re: calling the school and having her removed from the app)

This will only cause her behaviour (and yours as a direct result) to spiral out of control. It becomes one nasty circle and you will be left looking like a moron.

Step out of the big top. Let the ringmaster and her tiger jump through the hoops of fire, and watch as the tiger catches himself on fire.
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  #13  
Old 09-20-2019, 03:35 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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You have it all wrong.. but thatís ok

I routinely get accused of not communicating school information to him as our current agreement says I am to keep him informed.

And each time I have told him to get his own information he (she) again quotes our agreement telling me I need to continue spoon feeding him.

He also put it in his latest offer to settle. That I still must continue to inform him of all school information??

The judge has told him to get it himself. To which I pointed him towards the school webpage with the calendar on it

I invited his gf once a while ago hoping that she could offer some other solutions for our youngest son that was struggling in school to a parent meeting. Myself, my ex and her. She threw me under the bus... and stated to the teacher that she suggested our son stay with her on Mondays after dadís weekend because he was so tired and had such a hard time transitioning back to school that day?! So yes after this suggestion I clearly saw that her input was not needed. The next school meeting she came to uninvited... she was not welcomed into.

My kids are at a new school and the school was not aware of who they can speak to with regards to decision making. They assumed dad had joint custody. Wonder who told them that.


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  #14  
Old 09-20-2019, 04:42 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
I routinely get accused of not communicating school information to him as our current agreement says I am to keep him informed.
School Information Email to Ex:

ďOur children go to XYZ Public School, located in the town of Fukkit. Their phone number is 111-222-3333. You are listed as the father on the contact list and are legally entitled to information about our childrenís educationĒ

The End

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
He also put it in his latest offer to settle. That I still must continue to inform him of all school information??

The judge has told him to get it himself.
Further proof that no one is going to give you shit for not spoon feeding him information that he has access to himself. The judge literally told him to get it himself. Why are you still enabling?

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Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
I invited his gf once
*pours oil into fire then complains when flames jump 30ft high*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
My kids are at a new school and the school was not aware of who they can speak to with regards to decision making. They assumed dad had joint custody. Wonder who told them that.
Huh? What do you mean they werenít aware? There is a form you fill out when you register your kid for school that literally asks who has legal custody and if custody is currently in contention before the courts.... As concerned as you are about this ongoing custody issue, I would have assumed that you would have filled out that portion first when you registered them?
Regardless, Iím not sure what this point has to do with your original problem?? Custody or not, both parents are legally entitled to receive information about their kids. Unless your ex and his gf were sending the teacher msgs through the app telling her to put the kid into a French immersion class, this issue doesnít really have anything to do with custody
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  #15  
Old 09-20-2019, 05:14 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Selfrepmom View Post
School Information Email to Ex:



ďOur children go to XYZ Public School, located in the town of Fukkit. Their phone number is 111-222-3333. You are listed as the father on the contact list and are legally entitled to information about our childrenís educationĒ



The End







Further proof that no one is going to give you shit for not spoon feeding him information that he has access to himself. The judge literally told him to get it himself. Why are you still enabling?







*pours oil into fire then complains when flames jump 30ft high*







Huh? What do you mean they werenít aware? There is a form you fill out when you register your kid for school that literally asks who has legal custody and if custody is currently in contention before the courts.... As concerned as you are about this ongoing custody issue, I would have assumed that you would have filled out that portion first when you registered them?

Regardless, Iím not sure what this point has to do with your original problem?? Custody or not, both parents are legally entitled to receive information about their kids. Unless your ex and his gf were sending the teacher msgs through the app telling her to put the kid into a French immersion class, this issue doesnít really have anything to do with custody


Old school closed. Info got transferred. Didnít fill out whatever your talking about ever as registration from JK went to the new school in their files when we were not divorced. now they have it

Thanks for making me feel more like shit... just so you know.

Everyone deals with things differently... and the nasty intimidating emails I receive almost daily from my ex or his gf sometimes make me worry that they will use every little thing against me. Itís taken 1.5 years to hear from a judge and give me some confidence that I am doing absolutely nothing wrong. Even though they continue to accuse me of it all the time.

This site is supposed to be helpful. Sometimes it is... most times it just makes me feel worse... my bad...


Take care all and I hope you all succeed in your ventures. Good luck with your arrears and your motion.


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  #16  
Old 09-20-2019, 07:32 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
Old school closed. Info got transferred. Didnít fill out whatever your talking about ever as registration from JK went to the new school in their files when we were not divorced. now they have it

Thanks for making me feel more like shit... just so you know.

Everyone deals with things differently... and the nasty intimidating emails I receive almost daily from my ex or his gf sometimes make me worry that they will use every little thing against me. Itís taken 1.5 years to hear from a judge and give me some confidence that I am doing absolutely nothing wrong. Even though they continue to accuse me of it all the time.

This site is supposed to be helpful. Sometimes it is... most times it just makes me feel worse... my bad...


Take care all and I hope you all succeed in your ventures. Good luck with your arrears and your motion.


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The great thing about this forum is people tell it like it is... they arenít just going to tell you what you want to hear, thatís what friends are for... the forum is sometimes more of a reality check.

Unfortunately Dad has a new partner, that partner is going to be involved in the childís life whether you like it or not... if Dad is allowed to get info directly from the school then he can decide if itís him or GF that receives said information. Even if itís Dadís account Iíd fully expect it being gf thatís using the app... thatís out of your control. Focus on what you can control and the less you care about them, the less theyíll be a burden to you.

Deep breaths

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