Separation - Property gone

[mafia007]

I came home one night finding the locks had been changed. I completely lost access to my house, kids and belongings. Through negotiations, it took over 3 months to split and retrieve my stuff that were piled in the garage because she refuse I step back into the matrimonial home. It took less than an hour for the moving guys to load the truck and leave while the cops were watching (yes... she requested for surveillance and create a drama in the neighbourhood). Unfortunately, a lot of things were missing especially items from the garage. My tool box was broken in and several tools were missing. My lawyer told me that the judge won't fu***g care so let go.

Now, she has everything else from the matrimonial home down to the little shitty accessories that we need to replace because they are a necessity for your every day living. She has most of everything from the house and she's crying to input a zero value on the corresponding line of the NFP statement for equalization purposes (it's at her advantage). She also kept a lot of my stuff I had when I was a teenager. The whole situation is theatrical (once the legal aspect is involve).

You spend a 1$ to 5$ here and 25$ to 1000$ there to replace the things you need as you move along with your life... and I guest that's it... you move forward and laugh about it because at least you move with new stuff while she's stuck with the old junk.

CONCENTRATE on the primaries; your children and your new LIFE!
SMILE! :-) and when you see your ex partner SMILE twice :-)) exaggeratedly... it will irritate her/him for sure. Showing happiness when they can't find it is priceless!

[CanadianMohawk]

I came here for advice because my ex literally emptied, and I mean literally emptied the matrimonial home of all items.

It's easy to say "it's only stuff", but it's expensive to replace, and I'm not rich. And he took literally ALL of the kids toys, yet another way for him to reinforce to the children that " his house is better".

I don't care about the bike. He has everything and he still wants more, it's sickening. Let him keep everything.

See. Lies. It's not empty. The entire living room set, dining room set, office desk and chair, antique furniture, our sons bed and dresser, her dresser, half the contents of the china cabinet, silverware, cooking dishes, half the shelving,, etc, etc. It's far from Empty. Good thing I took pictures of everything I left after I left.

As I mentioned, We have 3 weeks to move out. That is not enough to time bicker about who takes what. I had to make a call because she won't communicate. If she wants something back, she just has to ask. She called me last night to ask for something and I agreed and told her to send me a list of anything else. She said "no". Then called me a cheat and a liar so I hung up. I'm not going to sit there and listen to that. I'm not really sure what else can be or could have been done. I couldn't very well leave everything in the house waiting for her to come and pick and choose and then leave me to show up on the day before closing to get everything. I also couldn't expect her to come pack up the entire house. I made a call. If she wants something I made a call on, she just has to send me the list. It's simple really.

[arabian]

When my ex and I separated we did a walk through of the home together and identified the things that we each wanted. WE both agreed that we certainly didn't want to be one of those couples who bickered over "stuff." Our belongings were extensive (2 large moving trucks worth). I recall being secretly pleased that he wanted the basement furniture including the media room with the out-dated 65" TV as well as all of the "ugly" stuff! One evening he snuck into the back yard and removed all of the items from the garden shed. I was pissed off as the home was for sale and I needed hedge trimmers to keep front hedge trimmed until the home was sold. I requested he return some things and he refused so I hired a gardening service and included it in the final numbers. My biggest thrill was when the moving van came to move his stuff (which I personally oversaw) I made sure that 2 large bags of garbage were loaded on at the end (making them the first things he would have unpacked at his end).

I think there is a lot of energy and emotions at this time in the separation because the matrimonial home is quite symbolic..... place where the two of you likely shared some happier times... hopes and dreams.

In time the importance of junk retrieval will pass. If someone has an item which they know the other person covets, the thrill of possession will likely end up haunting them as yet another reminder of the failed relationship. For that reason I say be generous with the other person and embrace the concept of "purging" and getting on with your new life.

[rockscan]

The two of you are being petty and immature which is the number one reason there are problems with the courts in family law. Grow up. Give him back his tools and skateboard and give her back her bike and some toys for the kids. Then go to the fricking house and empty it either by splitting it up or donating it.

Quit being such babies. What kind of an example are you setting for your kids? SPOILER ALERT: A BAD ONE!

[Beachnana]

Amen ^^^^^^