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problems at my son's school

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  • #16
    is your son receiving some sort of counselling?

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    • #17
      So even though I'm getting clearance from the teacher that day when I dropped my son off to spend time with him, I can get charged with tresspassing? Also, any time I do drop something off or have a meeting, I call ahead of time.

      How is it they can do that if that's what I'm doing? I'm confused about that.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
        is your son receiving some sort of counselling?
        Yes very much so. I have him in a special program with a registered social worker who also works with him using his hertiage as a metis individual. It's proven to be successful but it's just starting so we need some time. It's difficult with a six year old child. They know emotions more than logic. So far though, it's working and it's also part of the reason why myself and his mother are communicating (aside from almost losing your child this summer).

        I'd also note that the school is aware of what he's been going through and offers no real support as far as in school councilling. I want nothing more than to get him out of this school next year. It's just been a nightmare. Even the teachers there have a terrible time with the principal.

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        • #19
          In my opinion you need to take a deep breath and a step back. Your son going through a rough time doesnt need to be compounded by issues with the school or you being there. Its noble that you want to help but he could also be having issues because youre there. Think about it, the kids could be teasing him because daddy has to come protect him.

          Added to that, the principal may or may not be interfering but making accusations or verbally attacking them doesnt help.

          You said you and your ex are working together so continue doing that. Work with her on what could be best for your son. If you are working well like you say then youre on the right track. Hes in therapy and it takes some time to help him through what is going on.

          And no one is attacking your parenting skills or concern for your child. Theyre simply saying you need to take a deep breath and a step back. You came here for advice and everyone seems to say the same thing: relax and stop freaking out.

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          • #20
            We're not attacking your parenting skills or judging you my friend, just free advice here.

            Perhaps the school isn't trying to take away your rights, but rather is noticing that you want to show up when its not your parenting time and take issue with that, as the only variable.

            As Rock mentioned, I'd be careful about making him more uncomfortable by showing up at school to comfort, etc. One thing all of these posters told me when I first got here was that kids are very resilient. We're all worried about our kids .. it's normal.

            My advice would be to use your out-of-school parenting time to hug, console and to communicate therapeutically with your boy. I work in schools and can tell you that parents don't just stop in periodically to check on their child, even if they've just been through something traumatic.

            Take a step back and take deep breath as Rock said.

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            • #21
              Also, you may want to look into therapy for yourself. Almost losing a child is upsetting and Im sure it affects your parenting. You want to hold him tighter, protect him, never let him out of your sight and that doesnt help either of you heal. Its equally as traumatic for you and you need your own coping strategies. Think about speaking to someone yourself. It will help you understand where energies should be focused, how to behave/interact with others and also how to move forward positively in the best interests of your child.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                Also, you may want to look into therapy for yourself. Almost losing a child is upsetting and Im sure it affects your parenting. You want to hold him tighter, protect him, never let him out of your sight and that doesnt help either of you heal. Its equally as traumatic for you and you need your own coping strategies. Think about speaking to someone yourself. It will help you understand where energies should be focused, how to behave/interact with others and also how to move forward positively in the best interests of your child.
                I wonder if some of dads emotions are affecting the child also. Child picks up that dad is worried so he gets more stressed?

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                • #23
                  I see no reason whatsoever why you shouldn’t be able to pick your son up at lunch time (on either parent day, any day of the week) and take him out of the school for the 45 min lunch period. Does your ex consent? Certainly, there must be local kids who are walking home for lunch?

                  I do think that with the elementary school job action occurring at the moment in our province, the teachers and support staff aren’t working the doors and you shouldn’t be trying to access the school until they get their sh*tzka together.

                  For security reasons alone, at the moment with no one to guard the halls and doors, I would think the principals would be trying to limit extra people in the school. And of course your teacher says no problem, and then isn’t around to facilitate - the teacher is in strike mode and it's all about the pay cheque.

                  Both my ex and I picked the kidlet up regularly during school hours for extracurricular activities and then later returned her. No issues.
                  Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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