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  • #16
    Originally posted by Nadia View Post
    I have certainly benefitted from your posts. It is always very helpful to read your logical thinking and reasoned response. I have put your advice (after a few changes to fit our unique situation) into practice, for example recently with the benefit of using Our Wizard and sending out Offers to Settle. Thanks for sticking around and hopefully you will continue to contribute to this forum for some time.
    Nadia,

    Judging from what I read in your threads it appears as though you are dealing with a highly conflicted individual. For whatever reason the issues have evolved in the situation and often, they are temporary, the one thing that I think you have done consistently is sought out better advice than the other party.

    Often, people leave it all up to their lawyer to resolve the conflict when in fact, the lawyer is just there to advise on the Rules and Acts. A very good lawyer will have additional training in conflict management and resolution but, often the vast majority of them do not.

    Investing the time you have and considering other alternatives to resolving conflict will hopefully pay off. Containing the conflict is an incredibly difficult challenge. Based on what you write on this site, it is clear that you are doing your very best on not creating unnecessary conflict.

    Conflict will always be involved in a "family law dispute" as it is the nature of the process. But, how you deal with conflict is often what leads to settlement in a matter. Your position on conflict resolution is quite remarkable and although you may be frustrated at the situation it appears (based on what I read) that you are always looking for alternatives to reduce conflict rather than create it or - add fuel to the fire.

    The best defence to conflict is understanding the resolution strategies on how to not escalate a situation. OFW is a great way to contain the conflict at minimum and provides tools to better communicate with the other parent. When communications get outrageous (allegations of parental alienation, stalking, blah blah blah) it is all logged and tracked. Hopefully you never need to use the messages as evidence in defence of being an equal parent but, should you be forced to (by motion / trial) it is there, easily accessible and does tell a better and more coherent story than email and more importantly SMS.

    General advice to everyone: Quit it with the SMS. It is crap, instant communications and the expectation from anyone using SMS is an instant response. It is probably the worst communication tool two parents in conflict could be using in my honest opinion.

    I think your rationalization of matters Nadia will be something that the children involved in your matter will respect most about you as a parent in the future if they already don't know it.

    Good Luck!
    Tayken

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Epona View Post
      What are "SBemails?"
      3000 postings is a lot!
      Don't know whether to congratulate or offer a drink to drown your sorrows!
      Link is safe and goes to a web-cartoon.

      And no... I don't type with boxing gloves on.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by baldclub View Post
        Well done and thank you for your 3000 constructive posts, Tayken. I'm sure there has been the odd person around here paying attention...

        Cheers!
        Baldclub,

        I truly hope that your matter settles or a determination comes shortly for the children in your matter. The length this is all taking on your family must be overwhelming at times. With the piles of allegations, challenges and other wrenches consistently being thrown at you it is understandable that at times my advice comes as a laser beam and not always targeted at what you would want to hear.

        Unlike many of the posters who come here your argument improves with every challenge brought against it. Often, I find myself having to throw straw man arguments to bring other perspectives to the arguments that you may face in counter to your position.

        I truly hope that matters resolve. I am very concerned with how the OCL is presenting their materials only moments before a conference rather than a written report. This disadvantages you as a litigant in being able to prepare a reasonable offer to settle and truly consider everything being told to you.

        If you have any issues at the Conference, you should take the position possible that it was delivered too late for a "court room door settlement" and in consideration you are unrepresented and finally that the best interests of children should not be determined in a matter of minutes but, with careful and thoughtful consideration by both parents.

        Court room door settlements, which often happen, happen too often and they usually are not very well written. The children deserve more consideration than a 15 minute meeting prior to a Conference, Motion or Trial in my honest opinion.

        Good Luck!
        Tayken

        Comment


        • #19
          Wasn't there a movie called Mr. 3000? Maybe we should refer to you as Mr.

          Actually, in the movie they had recounted and he didn't actually get 3000. I request someone look into this here before it is made official.

          Good Luck!
          Mr. 3000 (formly known as Tayken)

          Comment

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