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What would you do? Request from spouse

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  • What would you do? Request from spouse

    My spouse and I separated a few months ago. Prior to separation, we lived in a rented home (in Ontario) with no pre-nup. My spouse left the rented home upon our separation (no abuse or other reason - just out of spite) and has been renting their own home alone while I remained in our old rented home.

    We are aiming to paper a separation agreement before end of 2020 and settle everything out of court. But due to Covid and other demands we have not yet started even the first step of financial disclosure (using Ontario Form 13.1 as guide). Now my spouse has just dropped on me that “urgently” they are going to buy a new house in a nearby town and they want me to “sign something” that waives all claim to the new house they are about to buy. My spouse has always been very weak with financial and legal matters, and I assume they are missing two things: 1. Why would I sign such a waiver now, before we have even begun the first step towards separation agreement (financial disclosure) 2. Aren’t most mortgage lenders going to say “no” to someone seeking a mortgage when that person is in the midst of a divorce where future property division and spousal support are huge unknowns right now?

    I want to keep things amicable. Trying to find a way to kindly say “no, not comfortable signing any legal docs at this early juncture” and point to my spouse our how un-tethered to reality the request for me to “urgently” sign a waiver of claim to new home they are buying is. Am I missing any factors to consider? What and how would you say? Thanks!

  • #2
    If you have a date of separation before they buy their house then I believe you can’t put a claim on it anyway so their worry is moot.

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    • #3
      I personally would refuse without legal consult

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      • #4
        Seek legal advice and make sure you have a mutual date of separation.

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        • #5
          where is she coming up with the down payment?

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          • #6
            Ask to have the bank forward their mortgage application to you. If everything is on the up-and-up they won’t have a problem with that and you can use those figures for spousal / child support and equalization.

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            • #7
              Are there kids involved? It seems to me very odd that a bank would grant a mortgage when matters related to supports (either child or spousal) and/or equalization has yet to be resolved.

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              • #8
                I had to provide a copy of the separation agreement showing that I would not be paying my ex any SS before they would do the mortgage.

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                • #9
                  Your concerns and upset is very understandable. However, when you say “I want to keep things amicable”, keeping things amicable means trying to move forward, both of you, in the best way possible, quickly and inexpensively.

                  Family Mediation Works to sort out concerns. To consider mediation is to consider engaging a lawyer/mediator that can look at your concerns, the concerns of your spouse, and see if an agreement can be reached. The advantage of engaging a mediator that is also a lawyer is that the lawyer/mediator can draft the documents. You may choose to seek independent legal advice as the document is being signed. You may want to start mediation quickly. This can be done by Zoom. So it can be at your convenience, with a possible end date, probably within three weeks to a month. The cost of the lawyer/mediator is shared. If an agreement can be made about a division of all property, a new house for your spouse is not a problem.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Mississauga Lawyers View Post
                    Your concerns and upset is very understandable. However, when you say “I want to keep things amicable”, keeping things amicable means trying to move forward, both of you, in the best way possible, quickly and inexpensively.

                    Family Mediation Works to sort out concerns. To consider mediation is to consider engaging a lawyer/mediator that can look at your concerns, the concerns of your spouse, and see if an agreement can be reached. The advantage of engaging a mediator that is also a lawyer is that the lawyer/mediator can draft the documents. You may choose to seek independent legal advice as the document is being signed. You may want to start mediation quickly. This can be done by Zoom. So it can be at your convenience, with a possible end date, probably within three weeks to a month. The cost of the lawyer/mediator is shared. If an agreement can be made about a division of all property, a new house for your spouse is not a problem.
                    Family mediation only works when you have two reasonable parties to the mediation though. Mediation fails when one or both parties have a mental health issue, addiction issue or are high-conflict in their problem resolution. As well mediation is usually not great with complex situations that only a court should be dealing with. For example: Mobility of Children

                    The estimates provided by the marketing guru above is not generally the speed at which mediation moves. It is great marketing material for their service but, for many people who end up on this site Arbitration or Court where a final order can be made is the only option.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Mississauga Lawyers View Post
                      Family Mediation Works to sort out concerns.
                      So far, 100% of your posts recommend family medation (with some arbitrary capitalization).

                      Perhaps, as a shorter list, when do you feel that mediation would not work?

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