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When the Court screws up??? DESPERATE

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  • When the Court screws up??? DESPERATE

    Hi all ConcernedDad and I are at point of desperation, well beyond anything....So today we were supposed to go in and argue for an interim order...we filed all the forms properly including the 14C Confirmation....We get to court and find out we are NOT on the argued motion list. Duty counsel says it was our responsibility to put a sticky note on the 14C when we handed it to the clerk in the office, because they dont always do their jobs rights and sometimes the confirmations dont get to the Trial coordinator because of this.....So we ask Judge if hed be willing to hear the argued motion, or if the Judge that was hearing them could hear ours today...Nope so the Judge doesnt want to hear anything doesnt know the case, wont listen to anything CD has to say tells them to keeep 16 week, and says best he can do is set a hearing date for trial management, but we wont get a trial date for until January or after...So were mad mad mad, and crying , respondent walks out with a big ol smile on her face.......We go back to Duty counsel who says we can bring another motionasking for: :An Order fo levae to bring our motion for interim custody dated Sept 30 2010, pending the hearing of this matter at trial" and to resubmit our original motion with this.....This is all because of procedural negligence.....When we went back downstairs and talked to clerk he saidwe did not have to put a sticky note on the confirmation, because its not our responsibility to inform them of how to do their jobs properly, and that the cConfirmation was in the file and should have been given to Trial Coordinatoer but someone was neligent...and if we file another motion asking for this Order for leave we will not be looked upon favourably...Hearing date for trial management isnt until November 29 and the 100 km drives continue.....Please Please Help we have talked to some people who said that they cant believe what is happening to us and these kids

  • #2
    It sucks, but unless the child is in any real and immediate danger, there is not much you can do except follow the process.

    Yes, your daughter will continue to be subjected to these drives until the motion occurs. Yes, her performance at school will likely suffer as a result.
    What that means is you can get the school and teacher's on board that the continued travel is NOT in her best interests.

    Do everything in your power to document the distance being driven, go the speed limit and time it. Hell, bring a VIDEO CAMERA with you and document the trip to prove the time it takes to do so.

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    • #3
      The distance itself cannot be the only issue. The time itself cannot be the only issue. You need to have solid proof that this drive is hurting your child's performance in school, is negatively affecting her health etc.

      My daughter is driven to school or daycare 45 km one way on my week and 70km one way on her father's week. Yeah, a 45-60 minute drive is not a good idea. BUT, it was the only way that we would be able to make 50/50 work. Even though the drive is not ideal, it was in my daughter's best interests to endure this drive until I could move closer to her school so that she could maintain her relationship with both parents.

      My advice...try to think of what your ex's arguments are going to be, and then find a way to refute them. It's you best chance of changing it.
      Last edited by billiechic; 10-06-2010, 03:44 PM. Reason: bad typing!

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      • #4
        The problem is a court screw up that is prolonging this we have been in litigation for a year over this...we live walking distance from the kids school, and "mom" moved 100 km away...There was a Judge we saw that saw the problems...And wrote a temp order for mom to have her every other weekend and a mid week...then the Judge we have had all along overwrote the order and told them to go back to 16 week...you guys would have to see this schedule to understand...its 2 days at moms 3 days at dads 3 days at moms 2 days at dads 100km drives each way when she is at moms into school in the morning and back to her moms after school in evening...we took the drive because we went to get an accident report for "moms" second accident in a year...had it to show in court today...she totalled the vehicle claims she was doing 70km/h in an 80 km zone but somehow swerved off gravel road into a fiels 118.8 m stopping at a tree.....we have all the documentation, of his daughters probs in school...and 12 absences last year when in mom's care supposedly cause she was sick...we are doing it all right we have all the documentation...this time and today our motion would have beeen heard if the court actually did their jonb and gave the 14c confirmation to the trial coordinator but somehow for the second time in a year it got messed up this happened last year with the same form too and the courts screwing this up is making things drag out even longer....Now were being told a "status quo" is being formed by these regular drives and court may NOT even issue an interim...a year ago when this first started we and "mom's" former lawyer was informed status quo was to remain and kids were NOT to be removed from residency where we are...but it fell through cracks and now a new status quo has been formed

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        • #5
          A year is nothing in terms of family law. I'm into my second year and THAT is quick as these things go.

          and 12 absences last year when in mom's care supposedly cause she was sick
          That's excessive. Did you request the mother provide you documentation (ie. the doctor's visit to support this?) Did you take the child into outpatient's to confirm she is NOT sick when you got her back? Did the mother tell you the child was sick when the exchange took place?

          2 days at moms 3 days at dads 3 days at moms 2 days at dad's
          Who does the driving? Is Mom doing it all or are you being forced to pick up some of the slack?

          You have more than sufficient evidence to request a change in arrangements during the school year. Have you sent a settlement offer to the ex's lawyer at all?

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          • #6
            We cant do anything when she is ill in mom's care...the real reason for the absences is mom doesnt want to drive it...Mom does all the driving because we tlld her NO WAY are we driving it, our car is NOT the best and she made this cjoice to move, told us 2 and a half months before she moved, that she was moving , we better get used to it , she will let the kids stay at their school this year(2009/2010) but they may want to live with her and go to school there next year, and that he (meaning dad) could have them every weekend during the school year.....so we did have 4 settlement conferences given the distance we laid this offer on the table.....

            During School Year Mom can have every other weekend from friday after school to sunday eve....every week mid week...as well as if there was a PA PD day Mom could have them from that thursda...equal division of holidays and a week at each during summer...she refuses says she will NOT take anyhting less than 50/50......

            Most recent offer...3 non consecutive weekends per month from friday at 3:30 to Sunday at 7pm....2 Non consec mid week over nights ...plus the pa/pd days...holidays and week about during summer.....NOPE refused again...she says we are being difficult and will not agree...we both do not have lawyers any more

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            • #7
              The point is not whether you can do anything about it. The point is to question her and put her on the spot to explain why the child was kept out of school, and whether she (the mother) took the child to the doctor if she was ill to the point she was unable to attend.

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              • #8
                I hear you but we havent even been allowed to get to that point ...cause the courts keep screwing up and not doing their job....There are 2 Questions that can define this case ...When she decided to move she cclaims it was dure to financial constraints, questio 1) It has been a year since her move, has her move improved her finacial situation.....Thus far she has changed jobs, shifts, lowered her income, lost her extended benefits and she seems to be as much in debt if not more than before she moved.....
                2) How has her move benefitted the children?, MAde her financiall better for their needs, given them a stable environmet, enhanced ther academis, enhanced their relationship with family and friends......etc

                We cant even get in front of a Judge long enough to ask these 2 simple quetions...because the courts system keeps screwing us

                Comment


                • #9
                  Oh, and she can speak much more clearly and with more conviction than I.

                  I was also told today by the Duty Counsel that 1) They cannot refer to the continuing record briefs...that I must swear them in affidavit again

                  2) A Judge won't even refer to Case Laws submitted except in Trial.

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                  • #10
                    Legalites aside folks, My husband an I are beside ourselves trying to fight back the tears of pain, and frusteration. Today all day I keep asking myself if we are doing the right thing by fighting the situation. That although we have done everything right and everyone says that nobody shares care at 100km distance and this is wrong for the kids, the fact is NOTHING has been done. So I am questioning on a deep level if we are in the wrong. We know that this is her mother and we understand that she loves her daughter but what noone seems to agree with is that this situation is generally unhealthy...and this is something I am putting in the NEW affidavot to try and get this abck in front of a Judge...


                    My daughter although not in imminent danger is being made to endure a ping pong lifestyle that does not facilitate healthy growth and development, including her academic needs.

                    While trial is apparant and we have a date for trial management hearing, our daughter needs an access schedule that accomodates a stable environment,for her growth, development and academic needs and still allows her to have time with her mother.

                    The dangerous winter road conditions are quickly approaching, given the respondent's history of unsafe driving, with two accidents in one years time, latest being September 14 2010, totalling her vehicle (attached hereto as Exhibit F); as well as my daughter's excessive absences while in the respondent's care during the 2009-2010 school year (attached hereto as exhibit C). I am greatly concerned for my daughters saftey and well-being, including the respondent's ability to ensure my daughter's attendence at school while in her care.

                    We want to giver her mother time with her daughter, she sits back and says we are trying to take that away from her but we are not...we are only trying to put her daughter in a better situation, that still allows her time with "mom"

                    During School Year Mom can have every other weekend from friday after school to sunday eve....every week mid week...as well as if there was a PA PD day Mom could have them from that thursda...equal division of holidays and a week at each during summer...she refuses says she will NOT take anyhting less than 50/50......
                    Most recent offer...3 non consecutive weekends per month from friday at 3:30 to Sunday at 7pm....2 Non consec mid week over nights ...plus the pa/pd days...holidays and week about during summer.....NOPE refused again...she says we are being difficult and will not agree...we both do not have lawyers any more
                    Why is this wrong?

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                    • #11
                      Alright, the screw up was 2 fold. When I was at the file clerks desk she took the 14C Confirmation form and was more concerned that I write that we had to start a new volume and tab.... and then took the form from me. I forgot, didn't stop her and fill in the first page date and time. Although, on the Motion I did enter the date and time correctly, and the other woman I spoke to today when photocopying this form for proof, she sort of gave the impression the file clerk should have either told me or known it needed the date and time, put in there and gave to trial coordinator anyway.

                      So, both my ignorance and the help I was getting from the file clerk not double checking to see that I filled the date and time in correctly when she gave me the motion date.

                      So, I am going to put in for another Emergency Motion and maybe things do happen for a reason. I called FRO to question why I am still not receiving any Child Support for my two children. He made a couple of calls and found out that she lied to the Judge, me etc. about her employment. She is only getting a couple of shifts at her new job, not seven 8hr shifts over 2 weeks as she told the Judge she had. Also, her old job where she said she stayed on casual so she could keep her 10 years seniority she has not worked a single shift.

                      With this said, she emails me today telling me she has a couple new offers for me. 1) I can have my daughter during the weeks, she has her from Friday evening till Monday morning every weekend, giving me no weekends at all. 2) She has my daughter from Thurs - Mon. My problem is that I disagree with the 3hrs of daily driving just so she can spend a couple hrs with her during school days. It is not right.

                      Comment

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