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  • #16
    Hi To

    Yes it is court order and my health plan has to keep him on + I'm also divorced.

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    • #17
      Excellent info! Thx Lorac.

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      • #18
        ok - I am really glad to eat my shorts on this one cuz if there is a chance, god if there is a chance.

        Lorac and Torontonian I am sorry, for my benefit to push this do you have the CANLII ruling and I will print and give to the lawyer and since Lorac actually made this happen in that it was her plan if you are comfortable here or please pm me which is your insurance company and do you understand why they ended up paying - anything to make things clear?? Way up front the insurer who helped me in many other ways indicated that their policy is written that coverage will end upon divorce and I would think a court order can't dictate a business's "contracts and policies"....... sorry that would be the story I had.

        I know my divorce is going to be real bad - I know I proposed to "divorce" only to the point of seperation so I can stay on the policy because my monthly charges are around $800 a month. What I am worried about most, what I have read more than a few times how "deals" can go south real fast when a new partner comes into the picture. Why would an ex want to keep "their ex" on the insurance policy when she has a new partner a couple of years from now....... (Part of the trying to make the cleaneest break we can given the circumstances also comes in my head a lot)

        Whatever can help all the exs in my position to live with some dignity after divorce - the one's who can't work due to medical issues, not the people who are too lazy to go out and support themselves one way or another (at least try to!!!) thanks to all

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        • #19
          What I also would like to know is if Lorac receives her reimbursement payments through the ex, and the ex hands her the cheques - or can she get them straight from the insurer. I've had issues with privacy/getting the payments back from my ex, so not too keen on keeping that set-up. I wouldn't be paying $800/m but every little bit helps when you don't have much.

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          • #20
            torontonian - I think you misunderstood Lorac. She is the owner of the work insurance and her ex is on HER policy, not the other way around.

            In my case the insurance - we have a card, most is covered up front and I pay my own deductable. If this would go on, I asked the insurer (it is a problem now) some things I have to pay up front and the insurance company MUST give the check to her unless they get a court order to send my things or payments to me direct usually in 2-3 weeks - they are real fast in paying.

            My problem now is if I pay up front, she gets the check and odds are real high that I would not see it - I do not have the money to risk it so I just have to hold off on some things I would have otherwise had done.

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            • #21
              oops - you're right, totally projected my situation onto hers! thx ddol1...

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              • #22
                Originally posted by torontonian View Post
                Hi - We are headed to trial
                We disagree on the circumstances I left the MH (under duress or not). I kept a journal/notes, but on loose sheets, since I had to hide them from the ex. Will that be a problem? Each sheet is dated. What is the validity of a journal/notes to prove events? I could have written all entries way later??? Thanks, T.
                I would be very very careful with entering your "divorce journal" into the trial record. What you wrote you think may help you but, they always end up working against you. I would use them as a memory aid but, not as documented evidence.

                Parents are getting their hands on the other parents "divorce journal" and they are often entered by the other party because they show intent (to call the police, create conflict, leave the jurisdiction, craft lies, etc...).

                Your notes are just that... Your notes. Use them as a memory aid but, if you bring them up on the stand with you... They will be requested for disclosure and examined in detail.

                If you talked in the first person "my home", "my room", "my children" it shows "state of mind" and individualism that could work against you on the stand. If you documented each time you met with a lawyer it is not a great thing to have in the trial record.

                Your best to talk to the facts when on the stand. The court doesn't really care how you "feel" but, what the "facts" of the matter are. Family Court is not "emotional court" and a judge will drive you to facts. If your journal is full of emotional reasoning and anxiety it will be easy to see the "emotional state" you were in. Remember your feelings are yours alone. How you react to others is well within your control as a human being.

                Journals should document facts and not "feelings" or "fears" or "anxieties" or "worries" about what could happen but, what happened. If you left because you were anxious about what could happen it isn't going to be enough for a judge to say you were justified in your actions. What you consider to be "stressful" may be "normal" in a highly contested separation and divorce.

                There are two sides to every story then then there is the truth. What the judge needs to hear is the truth and not about your "emotional state". Tell that to a therapist not the judge.

                Good Luck!
                Tayken

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                • #23
                  Thanks Tayken, good input.

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