Ex is holding my property hostage, what can I do?

[beebie]

Next time you'e in court , have it added to the order that you get your computer and personal effects (photos etc.) back by a certain date ie. left on doorstep on Saturday xxxx.

The police suggestion might work too but I thought they just pick up immediate personal effects not a truckload but if I'm wrong , try that too. Nothing to lose.

Arguably household contents belong to both parties (unless owned prior to marriage) so one party has no more right to "store" than other. Make lists and carry it off. Or just agree amicably if you can how to split.

[CouldaGoneBetter]

Thanks for your replies, everyone.
It's not so much about the dollar value, but that it's my stuff that she took, paperwork and such. Ironically, the serial numbers are on papers that are in boxes she stole. If it was just things I could replace, that's be fine. I can accept "haha I took your Xbox", buy a new one, and not care. But there is hardware in there that I need to get my office going, paperwork for other legal matters, mementos, and other things that I can't replace, or can't afford to. And yes, there is also a dose of not rolling over and taking it too.
I'll send her a note giving her another chance to let me come get it, and let her know that if she doesn't I'll be going to the JP. Hopefully that will be enough to smarten her up. I couldn't care about the matrimonial assets, but I want to get the things I care about back.

[blinkandimgone]

Ikea + Walmart = solution.

And even that is too much for some people, especially if they'd already spent what money they had buying stuff. It still adds up to a lot to refurnish an entire household, even at the cheapest stores and I don't know a lot of people who are in a position to re-purchase pretty much everything they'd need at the drop of a hat.

[Tayken]

And even that is too much for some people, especially if they'd already spent what money they had buying stuff. It still adds up to a lot to refurnish an entire household, even at the cheapest stores and I don't know a lot of people who are in a position to re-purchase pretty much everything they'd need at the drop of a hat.

And they would have the money to fight it out in court? Self represented? Not really a good option as it draws conflict, takes you away from work and creates a pile of stress. The impact to your earnings can be significant if you are always in and out of court. Employers are only understanding to a point when it comes to Family Law situations generally.

Balance of Probabilities:

What is the probability will I be successful in claiming that the property is mine?
What is the probability that I will be awarded costs for the motion?
What is the probability that I won't have to respond to new allegations and other hearsay that could impact other unresolved elements of the litigation and draw more conflict, costs and emotional stress?
What is the probability that I am wrong about the "stuff" I am claiming to be my property?
What is the probability that a judge will believe my evidence at all?

All questions that a litigant has to ask themselves when bringing a matter like this to court to resolve.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[blinkandimgone]

I just find it amazing that so many say 'forget about it, get new stuff' simply because you used to be a couple with this person. If it was a stranger stealing all of your things not one person would give the same advice.

[Tayken]

I just find it amazing that so many say 'forget about it, get new stuff' simply because you used to be a couple with this person. If it was a stranger stealing all of your things not one person would give the same advice.

What is sad about it all is that you actually know the person who took the stuff and at one point loved the person enough to live with them. The problem is that the person in the matter is able to claim property rights to the items under the law possibly because they resided with you.

[Gary M]

I just find it amazing that so many say 'forget about it, get new stuff' simply because you used to be a couple with this person. If it was a stranger stealing all of your things not one person would give the same advice.

Blink,

The way you wrote it above makes perfect sense, however my "angle" on this (and, I think, that of others) is that one has to carefully consider the cost of "winning" in situations like this.

Yes, if we're talking about your baby pictures and your great-great grandpa's favourite meerschaum, there might very well be a reason to fight.

On the other hand if we're talking about an XBox and a comfy chair, one has to consider that it might well cost thousands of dollars to regain a few hundred dollars worth of stuff.

I did, and would again, walk away from all of my stuff just to be rid of someone more quickly and more easily. Yeah, it stings, and yeah, I feel like I've been had - but in the end it's over, it's behind me, and it was just stuff... And I can afford to put my kids through school instead of investing in a lawyer's kids' futures.

In about 6 billion years the Sun is going to supernova. Long before that it will become a giant with a diameter that extends far past Earth's orbit. Everything, and I mean everything, that exists in this solar system will disappear forever. THAT is a big deal... the rest is just chickenshit

Thus endeth my potification. I needeth more coffee

Cheers!

Gary

[Gary M]

Thus endeth my potification.

P.S. All of my fluffy BS aside, I'd probably find a way to make the other person's life very difficult, very complicated, very... scary until such a time as I got my stuff back.

Just sayin'

Cheers!

Gary

[Berner_Faith]

Blink,


Yes, if we're talking about your baby pictures and your great-great grandpa's favourite meerschaum, there might very well be a reason to fight.


Cheers!

Gary

When my bf was told not to come home by his ex wife, he was 3 hours away working and didn't have a chance to gather any of his things. From their 7 year marriage, he walked away with only SOME of his clothes (she didn't hand them all over as she said she bought them with her money), an old TV (which was actually her's from before the marriage and she kept the brand new flat screen he bought 2 months before), a weight bench and a video game...

He is a huge Simpsons Fan (why...I don't know), but for years he had been collecting Simpsons items and had a massive collection... he received maybe 1/4 of it back, none of his DVD seasons or anything that was worth money... but in the end...it was just stuff... over $1500 worth of "stuff" but it was just stuff... she wanted it that bad...she can have it... we started over and his collection is building up...

It wasn't worth the fight with her to get his stuff back.