Something has just come to the foreground that we thought had been resolved several years ago, (Summer 2001).
When my husband’s ex registered his daughter in school for the first time under her median name. Over the course of the next two years my husband who I will call <B> made several requests of the mom to have copies of report cards as she was getting copies at home and he didn’t know at the time that he was entitled to ask the school himself for copies. She always said she’d get a copy in the mail. One thing always leads to another and we either dropped the issue or forgot. We had no reason for concern. Until one visit the daughter who was learning to read and write clearly was trying to write her name as the mother’s and always insisted her name was that of her mom’s. As the daughter said, “My granny and granda said my name is S***&** and I have always been a S***&**. <B> questioned mom, she brushed it off as “innocent confusion” on the daughter’s part because she now uses her maiden name. No big deal “she’ll eventually understand the difference” as she gets older. A few months later when dad tries to help daughter learn her name after again insisting her name was S***&** we showed the daughter her hospital pictures of the day she was born trying to non-shalantly show her what her real name is. Then we showed her the tag from her bassinette that she was in at the hospital and her birth and baptism records. She went home very proud that she had learned so quickly to write and say her “real” name. Mom was furious. Long story short <B> had to take the issue to court as mom again told the daughter “Dad was confused, and he made a mistake, your name is S***&**. We get the order to have dad named as father, not her new husband. And to have dad listed in emergency contacts and all registrations of the daughter were to be in the child’s legal name. The judge gave mom a verbal lashing saying she intentionally mislead the daughter to believe the wrong thing and that it was damaging. Fast forward, dad makes a request of the new school for copy of daughter’s report as her report card etc were not coming on a monthly bases as promised when daughter started at that school in September. We then make a request for a complete copy of the daughter’s OSR due to suspicious events in the last few months. Low and behold the name has not been changed in her permanent record, husband number two is still listed as father and emergency contact but they have been divorced for years and his husband #3 is also listed as emergency contact not <B>. Arrrrrrrhhhhhh
During the last SC in Feb of this year mom asked for a court appointed lawyer for daughter. Mom was to fill out intake forms, never happened. We got a letter for a Trial Management conference where mom and dad were to set a date for this week, mutually agreed upon date. We submitted reply two days after receipt. Today find out mom did not respond and no TMC will take place due to mom’s lack of cooperation. We also are to have a trial date in late Oct or Nov depending on availability. We also submitted preferences for dates to that.
My problem is two fold. How do we address the issue of the lack of compliance, as so far as the name goes, and although we have been very prompt in attempting to settle issues and file and fill out all requests of us, why is it that if mom does not participate that things do not move forward and get dropped. If it was reversed and <B> had not provided the proper info to the court for a OCL and for setting a date for the TMC you can bet dimes to dollars the courts would have set a date relative to mom’s request, so why have they not set a date relative to the dates date requested? The kicker, mom is a lawyer herself and this explains her ability to manipulate the system to her advantage but does not excuse her from delaying or completely ignoring the courts??
As far as the name issue goes a copy of the court order was sent to the school and copies of corrected student forms were also sent. But now principal and teacher are not returning calls nor responding to written communications??
Dad wants to toss all trial attempts (not been permitted court ordered visitation in last year due to last judges recommendations, “I trust <B> will heed recommendations of the psychological associate and not force the child into visitation) and set a date to motion for cancellation of CS as Mom makes three <B> income (six figures, she’s a lawyer), and because so much weight has been afforded a minor child to not have court ordered visitation also based on case files with similar situations.
Sorry about the length of the post
When my husband’s ex registered his daughter in school for the first time under her median name. Over the course of the next two years my husband who I will call <B> made several requests of the mom to have copies of report cards as she was getting copies at home and he didn’t know at the time that he was entitled to ask the school himself for copies. She always said she’d get a copy in the mail. One thing always leads to another and we either dropped the issue or forgot. We had no reason for concern. Until one visit the daughter who was learning to read and write clearly was trying to write her name as the mother’s and always insisted her name was that of her mom’s. As the daughter said, “My granny and granda said my name is S***&** and I have always been a S***&**. <B> questioned mom, she brushed it off as “innocent confusion” on the daughter’s part because she now uses her maiden name. No big deal “she’ll eventually understand the difference” as she gets older. A few months later when dad tries to help daughter learn her name after again insisting her name was S***&** we showed the daughter her hospital pictures of the day she was born trying to non-shalantly show her what her real name is. Then we showed her the tag from her bassinette that she was in at the hospital and her birth and baptism records. She went home very proud that she had learned so quickly to write and say her “real” name. Mom was furious. Long story short <B> had to take the issue to court as mom again told the daughter “Dad was confused, and he made a mistake, your name is S***&**. We get the order to have dad named as father, not her new husband. And to have dad listed in emergency contacts and all registrations of the daughter were to be in the child’s legal name. The judge gave mom a verbal lashing saying she intentionally mislead the daughter to believe the wrong thing and that it was damaging. Fast forward, dad makes a request of the new school for copy of daughter’s report as her report card etc were not coming on a monthly bases as promised when daughter started at that school in September. We then make a request for a complete copy of the daughter’s OSR due to suspicious events in the last few months. Low and behold the name has not been changed in her permanent record, husband number two is still listed as father and emergency contact but they have been divorced for years and his husband #3 is also listed as emergency contact not <B>. Arrrrrrrhhhhhh
During the last SC in Feb of this year mom asked for a court appointed lawyer for daughter. Mom was to fill out intake forms, never happened. We got a letter for a Trial Management conference where mom and dad were to set a date for this week, mutually agreed upon date. We submitted reply two days after receipt. Today find out mom did not respond and no TMC will take place due to mom’s lack of cooperation. We also are to have a trial date in late Oct or Nov depending on availability. We also submitted preferences for dates to that.
My problem is two fold. How do we address the issue of the lack of compliance, as so far as the name goes, and although we have been very prompt in attempting to settle issues and file and fill out all requests of us, why is it that if mom does not participate that things do not move forward and get dropped. If it was reversed and <B> had not provided the proper info to the court for a OCL and for setting a date for the TMC you can bet dimes to dollars the courts would have set a date relative to mom’s request, so why have they not set a date relative to the dates date requested? The kicker, mom is a lawyer herself and this explains her ability to manipulate the system to her advantage but does not excuse her from delaying or completely ignoring the courts??
As far as the name issue goes a copy of the court order was sent to the school and copies of corrected student forms were also sent. But now principal and teacher are not returning calls nor responding to written communications??
Dad wants to toss all trial attempts (not been permitted court ordered visitation in last year due to last judges recommendations, “I trust <B> will heed recommendations of the psychological associate and not force the child into visitation) and set a date to motion for cancellation of CS as Mom makes three <B> income (six figures, she’s a lawyer), and because so much weight has been afforded a minor child to not have court ordered visitation also based on case files with similar situations.
Sorry about the length of the post
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