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  • #31
    There's some good info in this thread so rather than start a new thread and let this one die I'm gonna piggy-back on it

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    I've been reading info on OCL and their reports and some of the stories are frightening. I am considering asking for their involvement, but fear of the unknown is a factor. I am certain my STBX has a personality disorder and therefore is very skilled at manipulation. I truly don't believe my STBX has a strong enough case should we go to trial. I'm not sure how the OCL investigates so it all comes back to the unknown. It seems to me that it would be quite easy for someone to "put on a show" for an investigator.

    My STBX is a high conflict individual with past mental health issues and her lawyer seems to be a master puppeteer intent on dragging things out. There has been no reluctance on their part to resort to any means to support their case. As a result, I'm wondering:

    Is there a reason the STBX's lawyer would NOT want to involve OCL?

    The judge at the Settlement Conference asked if the OCL was involved and STBX's lawyer said no. I had a sense that the judge was wondering why, but she did not follow-up. IIMA (if it means anything) my conference brief was positive and child-focused and the STBX's brief was negative, not child-focused, and only skirted the issues in dispute at best. Basically, it was more of the same unsubstantiated and irrelevant arguments the STBX has been making all along.

    The family doctor has also discussed with me the option of the OCL involvement.

    What does an OCL investigation entail?

    Do they just interview or do they actually investigate?

    I know the OCL can get CAS reports, medical records, info from counsellors, etcetera, but would they consider any "evidence" I wanted to show them?

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by FamilyBlah View Post
      There's some good info in this thread so rather than start a new thread and let this one die I'm gonna piggy-back on it

      -----------

      I've been reading info on OCL and their reports and some of the stories are frightening. I am considering asking for their involvement, but fear of the unknown is a factor. I am certain my STBX has a personality disorder and therefore is very skilled at manipulation. I truly don't believe my STBX has a strong enough case should we go to trial. I'm not sure how the OCL investigates so it all comes back to the unknown. It seems to me that it would be quite easy for someone to "put on a show" for an investigator.

      My STBX is a high conflict individual with past mental health issues and her lawyer seems to be a master puppeteer intent on dragging things out. There has been no reluctance on their part to resort to any means to support their case. As a result, I'm wondering:

      Is there a reason the STBX's lawyer would NOT want to involve OCL?

      The judge at the Settlement Conference asked if the OCL was involved and STBX's lawyer said no. I had a sense that the judge was wondering why, but she did not follow-up. IIMA (if it means anything) my conference brief was positive and child-focused and the STBX's brief was negative, not child-focused, and only skirted the issues in dispute at best. Basically, it was more of the same unsubstantiated and irrelevant arguments the STBX has been making all along.

      The family doctor has also discussed with me the option of the OCL involvement.

      What does an OCL investigation entail?

      Do they just interview or do they actually investigate?

      I know the OCL can get CAS reports, medical records, info from counsellors, etcetera, but would they consider any "evidence" I wanted to show them?
      I may be missed it but I did not get clear idea from your message as of what exactly you expect/want as result of OCL involvement ?

      Why don't you write a letter (without prejudice) to ex's lawyer and ask him his client position regarding OCL involvement?

      If you read my case you may already know that OCL may just rubber stamp status quo without really paying attention as of why and how it was created... So it's very important to carefully review what is situation now and what risks you may have if you will be as lucky as me and will get investigator like I did...

      Taken posted recent decision regarding OCL by Justice Pazaratz - you may better to read it to have an idea what you will need if you will move with motion requesting OCL involvement.

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by WorkingDAD View Post
        I may be missed it but I did not get clear idea from your message as of what exactly you expect/want as result of OCL involvement ?

        Why don't you write a letter (without prejudice) to ex's lawyer and ask him his client position regarding OCL involvement?

        If you read my case you may already know that OCL may just rubber stamp status quo without really paying attention as of why and how it was created... So it's very important to carefully review what is situation now and what risks you may have if you will be as lucky as me and will get investigator like I did...

        Taken posted recent decision regarding OCL by Justice Pazaratz - you may better to read it to have an idea what you will need if you will move with motion requesting OCL involvement.

        I am unsure myself as to what I want or expect from OCL. Based on the fact that two professionals (judge and doctor) have mentioned OCL, I am gathering information to determine if I should seek their involvement.

        I have read your case....a couple of times. It is amazing. You should be proud!

        Perhaps I'm misguided, but I don't think any status quo argument from STBX will hold much weight given the circumstances of my case.

        During the marriage, both parties shared parental responsibilities and time with the children. Since the day the STBX removed the children from their home the status quo has evolved from almost no contact to what it is now.

        The current access arrangement is in place by a "without prejudice" consent order. It has the children with me 5 out of 9 weekends with the other 4 weekends being with their mother. It also has the children with me for the standard Wednesday night sleepover.

        The changes I would like to see in the schedule seem very minimal to me.

        I would like to alternate weekends with STBX.
        I would like the Wednesdays to remain as is but I would also like the children to be at their home with me on Thursdays.
        I would like the Sunday nights to be included with the weekend.

        STBX's lawyer is unreasonable and has not responded to any requests regarding negotiations. They have also operated in a manner that I consider bad faith. I will be attempting to prove this should we end up at trial. My point: I expect any letter to her would either go unanswered or I would receive an answer I could not trust.

        Comment


        • #34
          Have to say I had no problem with OCL, she gave a realistic report pointing out where both ex & I could have handled things better. What was really nice was that she saw through my very manipulative high conflict ex and pointed out how the only negative things my daughter said about me came from stuff her mother told her. And as is the case with most HCP ex just had to keep sending OCL investigator more & more info on what a terrible father I was, well nothing pisses them off more than that! Meeting with OCL was priceless, ex kept rolling her eyes & even threw her pen as a sign of disgust. Ex's lawyer bailed on her after that fiasco, she said she decided to represent herself cause I wasn't worth the money for a lawyer. In my case OCL spoke with me & my partner together & separately, did the same with ex & her husband. Also observed daughter with each set of "parents" and talked to her alone. Investigator got to observe a meltdown D had after visiting me because her mother made it impossible for her to say anything positive about the visit. Just trust your HCP ex to shoot herself in the foot, they usually do! The evidence I brought was pictures of me & my kid having a good time together, always best to go with the positive. Best of luck.

          Comment


          • #35
            Thank you!

            I think she's already shot herself in both feet. I'm just hoping for someone other than me to notice the blood.

            The fact that the lawyer quit the case is interesting. I've just been reading Bill S-9 and section 135.1 of the Criminal Code. Did your EX make a lot of unsubstantiated claims in her affidavits?

            Comment


            • #36
              She would not listen to her lawyer at all, he was trying to get her to be reasonable but as he said to my lawyer's secretary off the record "she will go ballistic if she doesn't get her way". The worst part was ex was working for this poor bugger at the time, he was so relieved when she left to work for her hubby, he even apologized to me later when he saw me at the court house! Yes she made all kinds of allegations that of course couldn't be substantiated because they were LIES, my lawyer at the time just made a blanket statement saying none of her crap was true, OCL stated they also couldn't find anything to back up her claims of potential child abduction etc. I'm in the army, I had to get a leave pass just to go to court. Ex liked to send long ranting emails that were full of contradictions & bullshit, very helpful when dealing with HCP, they can't keep track of their own lies but I did. Example: she told court/OCL she left cause I was an abusive drunk - I have an email where she stated she left cause she couldn't handle stress of being military wife, she also invited me to stay at her house to see my kid (had a hate on for my wife and denied my access except in her home)- who invites their abusive drunk ex to stay with them??? In her crazy mind this all makes perfect sense, WTF! People will notice eventually, just hope it happens sooner than later, my kid hates me now, totally brainwashed, hope you get a better result.

              Comment

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