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  • #16
    Originally posted by Mess View Post
    This isn't 1980s any more.
    'Nuff said.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Mess View Post
      Did you graduate last May?

      I am in post sec right now, half my course material is only accessable online via Blackboard.

      If I have to write something, which I dyo approximately 6 hours a day, I have to do it on a word processor. I can do it in the library at school until 6 pm weekdays. I guess in your days getting your Phd you didn't need to write anything on a weekend, or at 1 am?

      I am required to submit my essays to an online site that checks for plagurism. Many of my professors also prefer that we email assignments or submit them through Blackboard. Again, yes I can do that in the library - up until it closes. My assignment deadlines are generally midnight.

      I'm sure, according to you, that I should have them done days early and submit at 3 in the afternoon. Unfortunately at least half my major projects are collaborative and I can only complete work when I get my teams' submissions. Guess what? They email them at 11 pm.

      There are a thousand other reasons why I need a computer and internet access. This isn't 1980s any more. Computers are expected to be used and course material, assignments, group work, required submission formats, are all built around the assumption that students will be using computers with internet access.

      I'm glad you were able to get through your degree with a pencil and paper. A few generations earlier they were using quills and ink bottles. You had it pretty slack. I suppose you want me do spreadsheets by hand too, using 17th century tables? Or am I allowed to use a slide rule? Have you ever taken a course that uses autocad? Or media arts? Relied on electronic databases for research material? Probably not from the way you imply you did your homework.
      I agree. School expenses these days include such things. Not super expensive but important to work on line.
      I too went to school with a girl who graduated by avoiding computers. Was completely useless if u had to work in projects with, didnt know how to email, etc....and yes she went on to pass and get into a job saying she knew these things. No joke. My grade 3 kid has a USB, doing keyboarding, and using a smart board, never mind the research he has to do online.

      My question here is how do u input these things into angreement? Do I need to even state this in an agreement or is it an automatic part of the law.
      My son has had Resp since he was a baby, and a savings account. I'm pitching in but worried my ex will ditch this when it comes to the time.
      Anything I should do now while coming up with an agreement or for trial?
      Last edited by Mess; 11-29-2012, 01:02 AM. Reason: fixed quote

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      • #18
        Every student has a lap top these days; it's how it is.

        My rule of thumb would be that grants that don't have to be repaid by the student are used to reduce the overall tuition cost.

        Anything that has to be repaid (ie. student loans) by the student should be only a partial contribution to tuition.

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        • #19
          Mess is 100% correct on this. You register for your courses online. Assignments are given online. Unless you live very close to campus the idea of just accessing computers through computer labs is not realistic in 2012. Do they even have "computer labs" anymore???? Sounds a bit archaic and don't forget that I'm considered, at age 56, to be old.

          If financial hardship is an issue the student can check out student services to be hooked up with a charitable organization.

          If a young person makes it to university I think that is quite commendable. I can't understand why the family wouldn't rally around the student and help him/her with something like this. Student should have their OWN computer in my opinion.

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          • #20
            I think we (including myself) are getting a bit off topic. Regarding the distribution of the grant/scholarship I would think that the student who worked hard and qualified for this should be the one to ultimately make the decision.

            The TWO PARENTS should perhaps meet with their daughter and ASSIST the daughter in deciding which way to best allocate the money. It makes alot more sense to have a grown-up meeting and get the daughter's consensus. If handled correctly the daughter will feel empowered and rightfully proud of the decision.

            I have to say I'm very impressed that the daughter works part time. It sounds like she is bright and motivated. She has earned the right to make the decision, in my opinion. Good for her!

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            • #21
              What I did for my situation is took the total amount of what was in the RESP, then divided that by the length of the post secondary program to determine how much of the funds could be allocated each year. My understanding is the the funds come in the name of the account holder (me), but the income tax information comes in the name of the student (my son), as these funds are counted as income when cashed in (I am currently involved in this process for my son to access the RESP for his second semester books).

              Unfortunately my court order did not address extraordinary expenses, so my son is required to utilize his OSAP funding without financial contribution from either parent. Additionally because my X and I rarely communicate and my son resides with me (I have sole custody of all 3 children), his father's income tax information was not required for the purposes of the OSAP application. I am unaware if my X holds any RESPs for the children and had to sign an affidavit stating as such.

              I advise anyone currently involved in completing a separation/divorce to request a motion that all extraordinary expenses must first be discussed, decided upon in writing and deemed an actual necessity, as to not to cause any party undue hardship.

              What is most disturbing is the fact that if the child(ren)'s parents were together and could not afford post secondary expenses, there is no expectation for them to do so.


              Also,
              request an order that prior to determining each party’s obligation to the post secondary educational costs of their minor children, they will minimally first deduct one third (1/3) contribution expected from the child, whether by savings, employment, trust, loan, gift, etc. Additionally, if any of the children attend post secondary education and do not reside with either parent (attends residence), support for that child will be suspended during this time.

              Hope this helps!



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              • #22
                A very interesting perspective. Not sure if everyone will agree with this but it is helpful that you have written your personal experience. I can say that I believe it is pretty important that both parents agree to extraordinary expenses, but hope the time it takes to agree on those expenses doesn't hinder the child as it applies to education.

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                • #23
                  I also managed to finish Computer Programming, in college, without a laptop. Definitely not a "must have" for schooling. It's helpful, but not necessary. Sounds like the OP got one, for the kid, so it's a moot point now.

                  Labs depend on the school. A good school, would have ample access to computer labs, which yes, they do still have. My labs were open 24 hrs.

                  Mess, for a moderator, that response was kind of caustic, for a simple "laptops are not necessary" response.
                  Last edited by dad2bandm; 11-29-2012, 10:08 AM. Reason: Sorry, wrong "time" mentioned... 24 hr access to computer labs. It was access to "coffee area" that was only until 11pm. :)

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                  • #24
                    Definitely, school grants should be applied towards schooling costs/tuition first, before the splitting happens between parents. That is the purpose of said grants, and as HammerDad already pointed out, mentioned in the Family Law rules.

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                    • #25
                      She definitely is a bright and hardworking girl! She has done very well and we have no doubt she will have a successful life.

                      Mom refuses to communicate with dad about anything unless its a request for money. Dad and daughter already discussed this issue long ago and daughter felt it was perfectly fine to deduct the grants first.

                      The grants were not awarded on marks, they were low income grants for tuition.

                      Mom doesn't think grants should be used to pay for tuition. She wants dad's share of total tuition costs without deducting the grants.

                      Mom can afford to pay that much. She recieves $2600/month in support, works, recieves baby bonus, and has a boyfriend who lives there and brings in a good income as well. Money isn't a problem in her house.

                      Dad is left with $1600 after support is paid. I am in college. Money is quite tight in our house, yet we have managed to pay ALL section 7's requested on time and have $950 in tuition money saved. Problem is she is requesting much more, and wants it within 60 days.

                      My original question was if she goes so far as take this to court who would win? (I think others have pretty much answered it) She has threatened court so many times before when we questioned a section 7 expense, that we end up just giving in (ie. wanting contact lenses for kids even though they had glasses and had used up their insurance for the year already in contact lenses--we gave in and bought kids contact lenses for fear of losing in court and having court costs on top of everything else).

                      So do we give in and give her what she wants, or if she takes this to court are we ok? In the meantime we will give daughter what we have calculated to be a third. Do we pay daughter or the school?

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by photogmom View Post
                        Mom doesn't think grants should be used to pay for tuition. She wants dad's share of total tuition costs without deducting the grants.
                        Of course she wants that. lol.

                        I'd say let her call her bluff.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Tell the ex that you will consider her position if she can provide you with legislation and/or case law that supports it. Because otherwise, from the case law your have read (provide excerpts given here) that grants etc are to be considered when determining the actual amount.

                          And then stop taking legal advice from the ex. It will never be unbiased.

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                          • #28
                            Great answer Hammerdad! Never thought of wording in that way. Why should WE be constantly defending our position when we believe we are right? Unfortunately she would never take the time to look up case law. It's always YOU WILL HEAR FROM MY LAWYER! Which of course, we never do, usually because we give in. On the one instance we didn't (the computer), we didn't hear from a lawyer. And we knew we were right on that one that is why we did not give in.

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                            • #29
                              Oh sorry just realized I never did post re: the computer. Mom wanted daughter to have Macbook, we offered one third of cheaper laptop, she threatened lawyer, we said Macbook is a luxury and an Acer etc would do the same thing for half the price. We ended up only giving the money for an Acer. Daughter got a Macbook anyway, with mom funding the difference and making sure daughter KNEW that dad didn't contribute.

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                              • #30
                                When the other parent always responds with stuff such as: "YOU WILL HEAR FROM MY LAWYER!", this kind of response to her, will likely not change that answer...lol... but then you are showing that you are providing a reasonable response to her, and willing to entertain her position, if she can back it up, which will look favourable to you, if you ever did get dragged to court, over this.

                                I get that answer all the time from my ex. She's never dragged me back to court...lol.

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