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  • Getting SIN copy- other parent refuses to give it

    We are setting up RESP to be held jointly with the Canadian Scholarship Trust.

    Rep from CST needs it. Dad sends it to rep by email- but does not copy me.

    Final order states that custodial mom keeps birth certificate, health card, and passport. Dad is to have copy where available.

    I have D3's birth certificate. Ex has an official copy. I have her health card- but it goes with her whenever she's there.

    I didn't realize Ex had kept her SIN info until we were setting up RESP. He says he doesn't have time to find it- and it's just a number- he'll give it to me, but he's keeping the card (or letter? I don't know what it is).

    Clearly this is a power play.

    If I have the number- is there any reason I need the original letter or card? (edited to add: I am find just having a copy...unless there's some reason I shouldn't be okay with a copy?)

    According to the gov't of Canada. If I report it lost/stolen- she has to get a new one. Does that affect her RESPs already in place?

    TLDR: Dad has SIN letter. Says he doesn't have time to find it to give it to me.
    Last edited by iona6656; 10-30-2019, 11:09 AM.

  • #2
    Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
    We are setting up RESP to be held jointly with the Canadian Scholarship Trust.

    Rep from CST needs it. Dad sends it to rep by email- but does not copy me.

    Final order states that custodial mom keeps birth certificate, health card, and passport. Dad is to have copy where available.

    I have D3's birth certificate. Ex has an official copy. I have her health card- but it goes with her whenever she's there.

    I didn't realize Ex had kept her SIN info until we were setting up RESP. He says he doesn't have time to find it- and it's just a number- he'll give it to me, but he's keeping the card (or letter? I don't know what it is).

    Clearly this is a power play.

    If I have the number- is there any reason I need the original letter or card?

    According to the gov't of Canada. If I report it lost/stolen- she has to get a new one. Does that affect her RESPs already in place?

    TLDR: Dad has SIN letter. Says he doesn't have time to find it to give it to me.

    If you have the number, and he gave you the correct number, that's all you need. They don't provide a plastic card anymore, that I know of. It's simply a letter confirming your SIN number.


    Dad is able to give it to RESP rep, but doesn't have time to find it for you. Sure. lol.


    Circumvent Dad, and you could simply request the CST rep to photocopy/print it for you. I assume it's a JOINT RESP.
    Last edited by dad2bandm; 10-30-2019, 11:15 AM. Reason: You could get the CST rep to photocopy/print it for you.

    Comment


    • #3
      FYI, sounds like you already have this planned, and perhaps the RESP stuff, was even outlined in some agreement or order...?


      But, personally, I would not contribute to a JOINT RESP. Nothing stops you from opening your own RESP, for your child, and making your contributions there. (not wanting to rock the boat...)

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by dad2bandm View Post
        If you have the number, and he gave you the correct number, that's all you need. They don't provide a plastic card anymore, that I know of. It's simply a letter confirming your SIN number.
        The problem is that I don't know if it's the right number because he said he'll just send the number, but doesn't want to give me the letter....he says "if you have the number, you don't need the letter. I'll keep it safe".

        Maybe the answer is just to get a confirmation of the number through government of canada- without reporting it lost or stolen?

        Comment


        • #5
          But he provided it to the RESP rep too, so do you think he would provide the wrong number to the actual company administering your RESP? That would be an entirely different issue, but I'm sure it's the right number if it matches what they were provided with?

          Comment


          • #6
            Tell him to provide you with either the email he sent to his RESP rep or permission to contact that rep for the number.

            If he refuses, tell him you expect to receive a copy of the letter within 24 hours or you will be calling to report it missing and requesting a new one which will impact his RESP if he has one.

            Also, as soon as you get it, open your own damn RESP to get the grant money. If he has opened his own he has gotten the grant money from the govt.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              T
              Also, as soon as you get it, open your own damn RESP to get the grant money. If he has opened his own he has gotten the grant money from the govt.
              This was a long rigmarole thing about the RESPs (plural)

              Both of our dumbass lawyers wrote into the final order that the RESP money to be transferred from his share of the sale of the matrimonial home was to be held jointly. However, all the major banks only allow joint subscription if you are married or common law. And withdrawal is "either or". Neither of us trusts the other not to be able to drain the RESP....it took forever to figure out. BUT - CST allows it in our case because of the order. And the good thing is that we don't have to get together or make any decisions about the RESP.

              So we split the rest of the RESP room. And we each have our own contribution RESP for her. So now she has 3 RESPs.

              Comment


              • #8
                Ah ok. Joint ones aren’t so bad though. It’s just difficult if your ex wants to stall or not answer.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                  Ah ok. Joint ones aren’t so bad though. It’s just difficult if your ex wants to stall or not answer.
                  That is what is nice about using the CST. Because it's a group plan. We don't have to worry about authorizing changes or saying "yes- we're sitll happy with this level of investment". We are signing something that says that if she's 21- and doesn't go to school- the principle will be released back to her- along with the interest (minus fees of course).

                  They've worked out what our remaining contribution limit is so we both get the grant money evenly.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
                    They've worked out what our remaining contribution limit is so we both get the grant money evenly.

                    The first thing my husband did after divorce was figure out how much he may be on the hook for and dumped it into an RESP. He got all the grant money. His ex is LIVID that he did this as her share of the expense is high and she has been adamant that the kids pay very little. Jokes on her now though as the judge said husband doesn’t have to pay more than he is obligated and his RESP is his to use.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                      The first thing my husband did after divorce was figure out how much he may be on the hook for and dumped it into an RESP. He got all the grant money. His ex is LIVID that he did this as her share of the expense is high and she has been adamant that the kids pay very little. Jokes on her now though as the judge said husband doesn’t have to pay more than he is obligated and his RESP is his to use.
                      Yeah- we took care of that in the final order as well- how RESPs are to be used and distributed. Settlement into joint- and remaining contribution room to be split evening so each parent gets 1/2 the grant each year.

                      Joint RESP comes off the top in the first year- the extra, and the subsequent years, are to be split as a section 7 expense.

                      I'll say this- I think/hope he won't drain his RESP for D3 before she needs it. And she should be set up for her first degree with what we've contributed to the joint + our own RESPs.

                      That being said- I'm still assuming I am going to be responsible for her post secondary education.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        It shouldn’t be so bad if you are smart and teach your daughter to be smart. Encourage her to get a job and put part of her paycheque away each week. Also encourage her to make smart decisions about her education. The beauty of your situation is she is young and can learn.

                        For my husband his kids were already teenagers and his ex had already taught them that they can do what they want with no consequences. They then went on to overspend on “expenses”, spend all their employment income and make stupid decisions that cost more. His ex then decided that they both should take out loans and cover the cost for the kids. Now she has led them to believe they are in debt because he won’t pay.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I had also opened a joint (not group) RESP at a major bank for our daughter. After separation, ex unilaterally withdrew all the money and closed the account. Thankfully, we had just opened it and there was only ~$500 in it.

                          I'm also not a fan of group plans with their higher fees and usually lower returns. So now, I would rather just open my own RESP with a bank or brokerage and periodically buy a target date mutual fund, which automatically moves funds into lower risk instruments as child turns 18.

                          The only thing I'm not sure of is how my RESP contributions would offset s7 expenses once child goes to university.

                          Sent from my ONEPLUS A5010 using Tapatalk

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by seeker101 View Post
                            I had also opened a joint (not group) RESP at a major bank for our daughter. After separation, ex unilaterally withdrew all the money and closed the account. Thankfully, we had just opened it and there was only ~$500 in it.

                            I'm also not a fan of group plans with their higher fees and usually lower returns. So now, I would rather just open my own RESP with a bank or brokerage and periodically buy a target date mutual fund, which automatically moves funds into lower risk instruments as child turns 18.

                            The only thing I'm not sure of is how my RESP contributions would offset s7 expenses once child goes to university.

                            Sent from my ONEPLUS A5010 using Tapatalk
                            The lower returns part is true- but the higher fees part isn't totally accurate. Many bank RESPs have lower fees at the start- but it increases proportionately to the principle. Also with the CST- they do refund a portion of the fees to the child each year during school.

                            The part where group RESPS stink is IF you have to withdraw the funds for emergencies, etc. You get brutalized. We both realized that. However, I'm lucky that the amount we have to put into the joint RESP is a really healthy amount and neither of us will be able to withdraw it. They were the only ones that would set it up like this. My parents' financial advisor (who works for TD) told me I'm better off using the CST for that purpose alone. My ex has previously forged my signature, taken me off joint accounts and all manors of shady stuff. I wasn't about to take the risk of with him.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by seeker101 View Post
                              The only thing I'm not sure of is how my RESP contributions would offset s7 expenses once child goes to university.

                              Your RESP is yours to use for your share of the costs.

                              Based on case law, legal advice and instructions from a judge specifically on the grant money, your investment is absolutely yours. You split the cost of the eligible expenses accordingly and you use what you want from your RESP.

                              If you don’t have enough for the length of their education, I suggest you split it evenly and then kick in your savings/earnings. That way you aren’t broke by the end of the degree.

                              Comment

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