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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 08-07-2011, 10:41 PM
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May_May May_May is offline
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Default Mediation...starting with friend ?

My ex is being as difficult as possible right now due to anger because I won't put up with his 'shite' anymore...

I am getting nowhere trying to negotiate with him right now. Wondering if anyone has thoughts on bringing in a close mutual friend of both of ours to assist with the discussions ? The friend I am going to ask will put us each in our place if it is needed without hesitation. I do not believe a mediator will do anything beneficial, except make him more angry and more difficult to deal with.

Has anyone else tried this approach first ?
Old 08-07-2011, 10:49 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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I haven't tried it, but it sounds like a very bad idea to me. That poor friend isn't going to like either of you when this is over. Or will have a hard time staying neutral, and end up accidentally favouring one party even if they don't mean to.

Professional mediators do not "put people in their place" but are a neutral party, well versed in family law, and skilled at negotiation and diplomacy.
Old 08-08-2011, 07:40 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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bad idea because your are putting a friend smack dab in the middle. One of you will end up getting pissed off at friend.
Old 08-08-2011, 08:35 AM
red6419 red6419 is offline
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I tried - only it was with my ex's mother - a woman I highly respect. Sadly it didn't turn out well for any of us. I don't believe my ex was happy that he was wrong and told so by two people, and now he barely has a relationship with his mother. And in order to keep that fragile relationship holding onto a string, my ex's mother and I don't have a relationship at all.

Sad because she was someone I loved dearly and trusted immensely and trusted to put my child's interests first and either of ours second when it was hard to see through all the crap of divorce and separation.

I understand the sentiment but suggest that you use a professional mediator to help you through this.

Good luck.
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