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Interesting... Doesn't sound like "dad" kicked up any fuss over the move to ON. How many of us would sit idly by? Why didn't he go to the police, and have an Amber Alert issued?? Just looking at all sides...
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Seek out the factual info you are hoping to find. Don't sweat the occasional harsh criticisms - Narrow your issues down, search this forum and access useful information that will help you to settle your matter.Comment
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Raven70. No, actually I didn't know all about who he was before we had a family. He was actually very sweet and kind in the beginning.... it wasn't later when he became abusive—even violent.
Me, Selfish? I don't care what anybody else thinks. I needed to do whatever it took to bring my kids to a safe place... and I needed help from caring people who loved me so I could heal.Comment
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I realize I took the post off topic with parenting issues; if drinking was an issue then fair enough...that was not in your original post. The problem you have is that the children are now in Ontario so you probably have to file from there (unless it has just been a short while since you arrived). I would advise making sure that the kids have contact with Father (if Father is okay over the phone and not drunk) and offering visits (supervised if necessary) to Father. He is a guardian too and could have obtained a court order to bring the children back to Alberta. You are entitled to argue that you need family support in Ontario if he is not paying CS but if he does pay, you will have to try to give him some access assuming he is sober. If not sober, then he has to go to rehab prior to obtaining access.Comment
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Thanks Hadenough. This is my first thread and has been an eye-opener!Comment
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It's such a crock of shit when ppl say "well you married him/her!" Duhhh. We obviously made mistakes. If I'd "known" my ex was a sociopath/narcissist I would not have stayed with him for as long as I did. Hindsight is 20/20.Comment
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jurisdiction
HBW, you could have moved 60 miles away, not 6 provinces away, this is where you decided that your needs were the most important, above all else.
As relationships break down, unfortuniatly, alcohol, drugs, cheating, gambling etc.... are usual side effects. If you were concerned for everybody in this family breakdown, you would have stayed in province.
I hope your ex, as perfect as he is not, can afford a good lawyer, you will not like all the decisions, i can tell you from experience-exactly-
let me guess, next you ll want a whole bunch of support, including SS.
still dont agree, ravenComment
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"As relationships break down, unfortuniatly, alcohol, drugs, cheating, gambling etc.... are usual side effects. "
REALLY?!? "Usual side effects???"Comment
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raven70. I loved my family and desperately wanted to keep us together. It wasn't until when I arrived in Ontario that HE wanted a divorce, because HE didn't want help for his drinking and anger. And when first I told him I was staying permanently with the kids he honestly was fine with it. It was only several months later when I started asking child support that he wanted me back in the province.
He loves no one, but himself.Comment
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jurisdiction
well, the last ill say is. i am in a simular situation to your family situation . it has taken a few years for things to improve with the long distance gap and time elapse, maybe in time your situation can improve as well.
hadenough, pick fights somewhere else please.
ravenComment
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Agreed, although perhaps this happens occassionally in some situations, I would certainly not say it was the norm or a 'usual side effect' of divorce. What a crock of shite! Sounds to me like something someone would say when they`re looking for a scaprgoat for their own decisions and behaviour!Originally posted by hadenough View PostComment
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Much appreciated raven70!Comment
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That definitely hits the "top 10" list of preposterous statements. According to that train of thought, we are all closet addicts that default to our wicked vices once there's a breakdown in the marriage.
I better get to bed. I spilled my Scotch on my blow and just lost my last few bucks playing poker on the internet. Good thing for the sleeping pills I take, or I'd never get any rest!
Goodnight Folks.
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HBW- your welcome
Hadenough-Blink, its just last most break ups within my knowledge, ofen had a common demoninator of cheating or alcohol/drug abuse that exculated the relationship break-down, in my middle class circle anyhow
Could be im wrong apparantly, night from B.CComment
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It would seem that you have a shallow pool of peers. This doesn't make for factual information from which you could legitimately state that they are a 'usual side effect', more like 'in your limited experience, this has been the case....'Comment
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