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Old 06-10-2013, 09:45 PM
belikebuddha belikebuddha is offline
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Unhappy Minutes of Settlement Faulty- How to Fix?

Went to mediation in February, settled on the big issues. We both had ILA present. After 6 hours of exhausting negotiations, we signed Minutes of Settlement. I did not review them carefully and there are a number of errors, omissions or unfair sections that I simply didn't notice, under pressure to get something signed.

All these faults have accummulated as multiple weapons being used against me by my ex. For example, "right of first refusal" when child is in my care and I need to be somewhere else. I left my daughter with my mother (her grandmother), for ONE HOUR to visit and when he found out he flipped and started saying I breached the agreement. Example 2: Agreement states I must forward any health insurance claim refunds he submits (he no longer had his own coverage and I keep him under mine until divorced). Fine. I submitted $1500. worth of claims under his insurance before he lost it - he won't forward the money and says the agreement doesn't say that he "has to". It is absolutely ridiculous and clearly vindictive and punitive behaviour on his part. The list goes on and on.

I will NEVER be able to specify the details of every possible situation he will dream up to vindictively enforce a poorly written section, or to wiggle out of an obligation - so now I wish I had pursued sole custody and gone to court.

MY QUESTION: Is there any chance of arguing material change in circumstances to invalidate the agreement? I.E. that he is maliciously applying his own interpretation of the agreement and taking advantage of many discrepancies to the effect that it is a weapon being used again and again - when in fact I had to lure him to the mediation table by offering to pay for the first three hours?

I have presented only a tiny snapshot of the events that have occurred since signing the agreement in February. I have become very depressed and discouraged as a result. I had hoped the Minutes would resolve most of the tension and uncertainty.

This man is intent on exercising control and causing as much pain as possible in as many ways as he can dream up, no matter how much peace making I attempt.

Of course, I am also mad at my lawyer - he was in a hurry to get to some family function - we were all eager to get to an agreement and get out of there of course - but I made for a mediator AND my lawyer to AVOID this exact situation.

THE RUB: I paid for the first half of the mediation so he was to pay for the final agreement version to be drafted. Four months have gone by and I only now received the final draft proposed by his lawyer. He has no motive to pay his lawyer to finalize the agreement as he simply states that the Minutes of Settlement are binding. No need for him to do anything else since all the mistakes are to HIS advantage.

NOW WHAT??? (Yes, I will take up some issues with my lawyer but right now I need his help and need to be diplomatic. Blaming him for mistakes or incompetency right now won't help).
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Old 06-10-2013, 10:41 PM
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OhMy OhMy is offline
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received the final draft proposed by his lawyer
It's a draft. Point out the errors and omissions to your lawyer or his and request it be corrected.
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Old 06-10-2013, 11:44 PM
stripes stripes is offline
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It doesn't sound like there's been any material change in circumstances. The problem is not the "circumstances", the problem is that you're dealing with a jerk and no agreement is going to stop him from being a jerk.

That said, if the agreement is still in draft form, you can request changes. You might want to ask posters here if they have suggestions for wording which would ameliorate some of the situation you've already faced (such as getting flak for leaving the child with your mother for one hour - you could fence in the "first refusal" clause by specifying time frames). From your other post, it sounded like the agreement d already been signed, which would be a different matter.
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Old 06-11-2013, 11:54 AM
OrleansLawyer OrleansLawyer is offline
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He has no motive to pay his lawyer to finalize the agreement
No final signed agreement, no consensus ad idem.

Is anything signed at all? Is it the spirit of the agreement or a full agreement but "messily" drafted?
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minutes of settlement, separation agreement

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