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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21  
Old 07-31-2020, 10:56 PM
Donald Duck Donald Duck is offline
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But she is bringing him Sunday, so after the visit, I will deal with her lawyer in the same fashion and then she will continue to tie herself up in knots
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  #22  
Old 08-02-2020, 07:24 PM
Donald Duck Donald Duck is offline
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The lawyer answered that access was on, yet also added a list of nine conditions, which lawyer said I had to abide by as her client has not consented to deviate from.

Those nine points were never even agreed to and it took another 40 days or so to get access again with my child so I do not even know why she would send me a letter of something I never agreed to even, as the offer was for mid week, not weekend and I work during the week and the court order is weekends.

Now that access has happened already today, do I need to even address those points or simply just email that I have received her email and thank you?

Thanks for any guidance!
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  #23  
Old 08-04-2020, 05:48 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is online now
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I don't have the answer but I have seen this tactic before.

Send an offer of a deal, renege, then ask for more.
She is definitely working with her lawyer on this already despite her sending you the initial communications.
She wants to derail you emotionally and also take advantage of your non-lawyer ways.

Be polite as was stated before. I don't know you or your children.

When she sends you such things contact her lawyer to inform him his client is withholding access and has requested conditions. If their client has an offer then he should be offering it it is harder to renege this way. It is even harder if they send it in the form of a Consent and sign it.
I would want her to have these conditions too.

They may turn your agreement into a temporary court order.
Temporary orders don't have end dates or conditions so putting them in is a good idea.

Stick with the court order weekends too. She is messing with you. You may lose out in the long run but get in front of a judge and be humble and you win out in the long run.
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  #24  
Old 08-04-2020, 05:52 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is online now
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.....they were obviously not willing to denying you access. Sounds like it was one big bluff.
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  #25  
Old 08-04-2020, 08:58 PM
Donald Duck Donald Duck is offline
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Thank you very much PH!

Your posts are very appreciated.

When you say in the form of a consent, is that the same as an offer to settle form please?

Thank you again, very much!
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  #26  
Old 08-05-2020, 04:22 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is online now
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I am not a lawyer. From what I understand.
An offer to settle is an offer to settle a motion that is in play. You may have many different offers to settle listed.

A Consent is different and there doesn't have to be a motion in play. The parties are agreeing to have an order changed / appended to include the wording that is in the Consent.
It looks very much like a court order.

That Consent (agreement) is brought before the court for a rubber stamp but a judge can always change it especially if they think the lawyer is taking advantage of you but don't count on it.

Seeing that your ex is being a real so and so and is reneging an order is needed and that costs her money and lawyer time. This is her request to let her file the motion and pay for it.

The consent form has all those same boxes at the top. I didn't see it on the forms page.
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  #27  
Old 08-05-2020, 08:45 PM
Donald Duck Donald Duck is offline
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Thanks PH so very much!

That makes perfect sense but it's funny because after the letter at the beginning of Covid when they stopped access and kept chaging the goalposts for around 75 days, early on they sent a letter with so many conditions.

Then we continued to negotiate for access and I threatened an urgent motion.

During that time they sent me an offer to settle, but it was exactly the same conditions, highly restrictive, and said access only could be weekday, which they said was less risky for an outdoor exchange, than on a weekend.

Our court order states weekends too
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  #28  
Old 08-06-2020, 02:03 PM
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CoolGuy41 CoolGuy41 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donald Duck View Post
We used an access centre, access centre closed, mom said no access because court order states access centre and our default was Burger King so no access.
Does the court order state exchanges are to take place at an access centre with no fallback in the event the access centre is unavailable? If so then that kills any chance of you being able to enforce the court-ordered parenting time via a contempt motion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donald Duck View Post
That makes perfect sense but it's funny because after the letter at the beginning of Covid when they stopped access and kept chaging the goalposts for around 75 days, early on they sent a letter with so many conditions.
If you were to agree to those conditions, then your scenario would essentially boil down to case (C) from Janus's post in a different thread:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
C. Your ex will not let you see your kids unless you sign an agreement. You sign the agreement. Is the agreement binding?

One of the above is binding, one is not, and the last is tricky.
The actions of your ex and her lawyer are contrary to the spirit/objectives of what you say the court has ordered. Depending on the exact wording of the order, in theory, they could be held accountable for that. I say "they" because, depending what the order says, the opposing counsel may be professionally out of line. I don't believe a lawyer is allowed to write you a letter that says essentially "my client will not abide by the court order". (Feel free to correct me on this, lawyers.)

In practice, you are a self-repped guy who cannot afford his own transportation going up against a woman who is professionally represented. Getting yours might require going to trial and historically self-represented fathers don't do well in trials.

If it were me I'd still fight her on this; i.e., I would insist on strict adherence to the court order; e.g., do the transfer just outside the closed access centre. As for public transit: if you use transit alone, would you not be vulnerable to c19 and by extension pass that vulnerability to your kids, who are in your bubble? If so then traveling with the kids is not that much more risk than you traveling alone, yes? Where does it stop? Does your ex now get to dictate whether or not you are allowed to use public transit? I would use all those arguments if it went before a judge.
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  #29  
Old 08-06-2020, 05:30 PM
Donald Duck Donald Duck is offline
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Court order states transfers at an access centre, which is currently closed.

Her lawyer and I have a default location, Burger King, but as Covid started she leveraged it to denying access while we negotiated until we agreed on current terms.

Completely agree with you on all points!
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  #30  
Old 08-06-2020, 05:31 PM
Donald Duck Donald Duck is offline
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Sent a letter to lawyer this week re conditions and curious to see the response, if any.
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