I've been separated from my ex for 3 years. We have 2 kids ages 7 and 8. I stayed in the same city as her to ensure the kids could have easy access to me as they grow and to ensure I can stay a part of their lives. I get them every other weekend, 1 weeknight sleepover weekly plus a week of vacation in the winter and a week of vacation in the summer.
My ex started dating someone new 5 months ago. She told me this week that she wants to move an hour away to be with this person. He has 2 small kids (ages 2 and 5) from a previous relationship and is currently living with his mother. The plan is to uproot my kids from the home they've grown up in and to buy a house with this guy. She hasn't gone to find work since the separation and the new guy she's dating is a high school teacher. The rationale for her to move to him is that she is more portable.
My separation agreement states that she will live in the same city and give me 3 months written notice should she want to move.
I'm very concerned that the move will impact the stability of the children and make the ongoing development of the children's relationship with me more difficult. For one thing I would not be able to maintain weekly contact with them as I couldn't get them to school when they're an hour away. That means I lose about 48-52 days a year with them.
My concerns are:
1. This is a new relationship. I appreciate she is trying to move forward but am concerned the kids will be uprooted for a relationship that is too new to really know if it could last.
2. As the kids get older I could envision them becoming less thrilled to abandon all their friends to come stay with me. Being in the same city allows them to have a more seamless relationship between their two homes and allows them easier access to me and vice versa.
My question:
Is there really anything I can reasonably do to stop the move or change the access to the kids? Could I for example become the primary care give so the kids have continuity with their school, friends, activities etc. I so far have had a very good relationship with my ex. If I stop this move that is clearly gone which I worry will affect the kids. Is there any guidance about how far is too far in terms of how far she can move?
My ex started dating someone new 5 months ago. She told me this week that she wants to move an hour away to be with this person. He has 2 small kids (ages 2 and 5) from a previous relationship and is currently living with his mother. The plan is to uproot my kids from the home they've grown up in and to buy a house with this guy. She hasn't gone to find work since the separation and the new guy she's dating is a high school teacher. The rationale for her to move to him is that she is more portable.
My separation agreement states that she will live in the same city and give me 3 months written notice should she want to move.
I'm very concerned that the move will impact the stability of the children and make the ongoing development of the children's relationship with me more difficult. For one thing I would not be able to maintain weekly contact with them as I couldn't get them to school when they're an hour away. That means I lose about 48-52 days a year with them.
My concerns are:
1. This is a new relationship. I appreciate she is trying to move forward but am concerned the kids will be uprooted for a relationship that is too new to really know if it could last.
2. As the kids get older I could envision them becoming less thrilled to abandon all their friends to come stay with me. Being in the same city allows them to have a more seamless relationship between their two homes and allows them easier access to me and vice versa.
My question:
Is there really anything I can reasonably do to stop the move or change the access to the kids? Could I for example become the primary care give so the kids have continuity with their school, friends, activities etc. I so far have had a very good relationship with my ex. If I stop this move that is clearly gone which I worry will affect the kids. Is there any guidance about how far is too far in terms of how far she can move?
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