Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

"parenting" emails - name calling, and avoiding everything else

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • "parenting" emails - name calling, and avoiding everything else

    A little further to this thread:

    http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...es-work-18708/

    What would people suggest, when you are trying to bring up school issues to the other parent (they are the main problem with school issues - but I don't state that in emails), but;

    - emails are intentionally ignored
    - when other parent finally does actually respond to email (I'll have to check - it's been like weeks at least, since she has actually done this, perhaps more - it totally surprised me), she doesn't speak to any of the issues you have raised, or also doesn't offer anything from her end, about how to help resolve this

    ex.
    - I looked into my EAP and work benefits, to see if there is something that may assist D6. I asked her if there is anything she knows of on her end, to assist?
    - I suggested again, that as easy thing to resolve would be homework and D6's school stuff simply follow her between our houses, painting it as a "one less thing for D6 to have to worry about". It seems to be causing her stress, and that is one of the issues teacher is raising.

    - I haven't heard from ex at all on this, so I made sure to outline the concerns from teacher. Stated that, I'm not sure which issues teacher may have already spoke to you about, but I'll let you know everything that was relayed to me, so I have given you everthing that teacher mentioned.


    For that, I get back an email within 2 minutes of her reading mine, which basically ignores anything D6 related, and ex basically states;

    - about time teacher spoke to you, she was supposed to do that (blames teacher)

    - claims she has spoke to me about all of this in person (you know, during our brief child pickup exchanges, where most of the time, she's being hostile - she has never mentioned any of this to me. The most she has ever said was "she doesn't have homework".)

    -she does state she met with teacher over a month ago, and she's doing "what I can" at home - again, none of this was communicated to me, by her, including issues. "doing what i can". In response to which issues?

    - telling me I don't have to send her an extended explanation of issues, as she's already had this conversation with teacher at school, long ago, and already knew about this long ago.

    - congratulating me, for finally picking up a phone and calling the school - telling me, that's how I should be informed of issues, not from her, and not by asking questions with comments written in parent/teacher booklet (again, she's pointing to that, previous thread explains, she scratches out my notes) (she seems to miss that I'm trying to address D6 issues with her, not simply looking to be informed of issues from her- there's a reason I have to go to school directly already now - and the reason I have to go there in person often, to get school info and speak to teacher - it's her)

    - finishes her quick response, with insulting me, and asking where's my "out of town" notice.

    She "sees my ugly face 4 times a week open ur damn mouth and communicate for once! I told you, I don't email!"

    About a couple of minutes after I got this response from her, I got another email from her that told me to ignore the 'out of town" thing, as she must have finally got around to seeing that email, which I already sent to her much prior.

    I get read-notifications when she first opens and reads an email.
    Her "response" she sent literally within a couple of minutes to me...and its this kind of garbage.

  • #2
    When I spoke to teacher, I asked teacher about these issues, and also asked her "Did you have this same conversation with D6's Mom?"

    Teacher said, "Not exactly. I did mention all these issues to Mom, but she seemed to think this stuff is not all D6's fault."

    She didn't go into more detail about that, and I didn't ask her to. I'm wondering if ex pointed issues at teacher not doing something right, or pointing back at me? I was trying to confirm if Mom knew about issues, as until then, I had zero response from her, about these.

    Comment


    • #3
      Omg you're overthinking this:

      Ask teacher what mom AND dad can do to help kid.

      Failing which ask teacher what YOU can do to help kid.

      Seek to employ jointly to help kid. Otherwise employ what you can do.

      Simply put: you can't control what you can't control.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Serene View Post
        Omg you're overthinking this...

        ...Otherwise employ what you can do.
        Simply put: you can't control what you can't control.
        I am not clear on what I'm "overthinking"?

        Right, and I've employed what I can on my end, and there are school issues still that teacher has mentioned to us...frankly, issues, that Mom is directly contributing to, or not helping.
        Last edited by dad2bandm; 03-10-2015, 06:03 PM. Reason: Added to my comment.

        Comment


        • #5
          ...well you asked what you. can do about intentionally ignored emails. Nothing. She doesn't want to cooperate. You've already said she does not want to resolve this.... what am I missing?

          Stop pushing on a rope. You can't change her or make her do squat. So employ what YOU can. That's all you can do.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Serene View Post
            ...
            Stop pushing on a rope. You can't change her or make her do squat. So employ what YOU can. That's all you can do.
            I think that is my issue, as I'm running out of things I can do on my own, without the other parents cooperation. (or changes to our order). Correction: with the other parent's interference, or directly working against my efforts, in some cases.

            It's maddening, that the teacher will mention homework not being done, and problems around homework, and how D6's grades and classroom performance are being affected, and how it will be an issue if not corrected for next grade, and the other parent will continue to interfere with homework, scratch out school notes relating to this. Pretty sure that's what is causing D6 her issues.

            Comment


            • #7
              Your ex is making it pretty clear that she doesn't want to be in the loop when it comes to helping Kid. You've tried to keep her informed and to work with her; she's refused. So I think you can stop trying. Focus on what you alone can do to help Kid.

              Your ex is also extremely rude, and exchanging more emails with her will only bring more rudeness - yet another reason to stop trying to get her involved and on board with you. This is the stupid you can't fix.

              Comment


              • #8
                Agreed that you are wasting time and energy trying to get her on board, she does not want to. Make your emails FYI and expect nothing productive in return. If you are the only parent willing to be involved then you do what you can on your own, make use of your resources and count in her for nothing. If nothing else, it may at least decrease the crappy emails from her.

                Comment

                Our Divorce Forums
                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                Working...
                X