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Love that song. Saw them live many years ago
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They are playing Massey Hall May 7. There are 7 tickets left as I write this. But they are $139 each. Were they good?Comment
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whoa $139 - Gone are the days that I have that kind of play money. Hey, maybe our lawyer could go. LMAO
I enjoyed the show way back when. Not as good as Spirit of the West though - now that was a show! Ah memories.
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Values are important - and I do not agree with adultery ...... however, I also feel that it is important to teach respect to others - this can happen when we treat the father or mother of our children with respect - just as well as not going out on one another. I cannot believe that we can be so terrible to one another .........
just my 2 cents!Comment
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I think to assume that one is a perfect parent because they haven't committed adultery is extremely simplistic and presumptuous.
I know sooo many people who stay with spouses that they have zero emotional connection with because of finances and kids. Marriage is often extremely difficult to get out of due to these types of concerns long after the emotional connection is severed.Comment
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Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
Who is presuming that? Not me.
It is simply a marker among many markers of ones ability to effectively instill values through a means of learning by example.
There is no such thing as a "perfect parent" but there are degrees of better or worse. When you add up ALL of the factors involved with being a parent not just some of the factors you have the capacity to see which parent would be potentially better at being a primary carer offsetting the qualities that are not necessarily in the better interest of the children.
All children have a right to BOTH parents regardless of personal characteristics, morals, beliefs, values, job, race, creed, etc etc etc.
But, in a forum where there is continual discussion of which parent is the better parent for purposes of custody and living arrangements then I think it is only fair that more than the sex of the parent (mother getting preference usually) and the physical well being of the child, needs to be considered when deciding custody and access arrangements.
Judges should make decisions based on ALL the facts not just some of the facts. Therefore, if there is a long history of lying and cheating than that is one ingredient in a whole lot of ingredients that make up the total Pie.
One act does not make a person but a pattern of behaviour certainly suggests a habitual way of being.
It is not black and white.
It is not simplistic.
Each case deserves its own unique interpretation.
I am not saying adulterers are evil that should be burned at the stake or stoned in the local square but I am saying they need to take responsibility for their choices and therefore stand up and own them.
It is not worthy of writing off as irrelevant.
Values are an important part of parenting. Respect is earned not demanded. Civility is all that is required to co-parent with personal dignity.
Others are responsible for their own Karma.
And how I react is my responsibility and my karma.
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Just because someone may fall out of love with their partner does mean they also fall out of love with their children.
Spouses and children are not package deals. You can have one without the other.
And to cause someone to have less parenting time due to infidelity would create a mess of a backlog in courts as each parent argued whether or not the infidelity happened, thus wasting the courts time and the parents money.
There is no benefit to the kids in linking fidelity to parenting.Comment
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Well we will have to agree to disagree.
My fiancee's ex locked her toddler children in the basement in front of the tv so that she could have her inappropriate relations upstairs in the middle of the day. She is responsible for displacing children from 3 different families because of her multiple affairs. She has gotten people fired for discovering the truth. She has lied to her own children repetitively blaming my fiancee for the demise of the marriage when it was her actions.
She has zero moral guidelines, is not a good example, lacks any empathy and therefore can not teach it. She will lie to them (her children) to suit her needs. She will sleep with who she wants to get what she wants. Yet She feels she is the better parent who deserves sole custody because she gets more $$$$$. How does she teach values when she doesn't have any?
Hmmm, worthy of consideration in a custody case????Comment
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If this were an issue for the courts to determine, answer me this question:
Who wins if infidelity becomes a factor in determining child custody?
a. the affected spouse;
b. the children
c. lawyers.
I'll give you two shots at it.
Edit - second issue is, whose moral compass do you go by? The Cheater, the other spouse or the judges?
Just because she's a skank with no morals doesn't mean she is otherwise a bad parent. There is a saying that morals are like..... something......
And morals aren't generally considered a major factor for the kids. Are the kids fed, clothed and going to school? Are they otherwise healthy? If you want to bring morals into the equation be ready to face issues when you have other cultures that have beliefs that don't match everyone elses.Last edited by HammerDad; 04-26-2011, 02:01 PM.Comment
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The lawyers are already winning because we are already going to court to fight for his right to continue being a dad - even though HE did absolutely nothing to break up the marriage. She is pushing the issue and after 3 years of status quo has unilaterally shown again that she doesn't put the needs of the kids 1st by going after sole custody for NO reason other than fabricated lies.
Should her character not be considered at all? Or should the courts just say she is the mother give her what she wants?
What about what the kids want?
I would assume most children want there parents to be together - adultery means not meeting this need for them - So be it, sometimes it happens and sometimes you fall out of love, fall into love with someone else. Sometimes you can't meet this need.
I would also assume that children want their parents to behave in a manor of respect, dignity and civility even if they are not together. Uh, how is lying and informing the kids of adult conflict meeting this need for the children?
I suppose it is more than the act of infidelity, it is how you behave because of it. People can leave after falling in love with another and behave like a decent parent and person. Then, others just keep on being an ass because that is who they are as a person.Comment
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Originally posted by karmaseeker View Postlol..I had to kinda laugh at this because...while I understand that you're explaining adultery here so its a different circumstance...its fairly common for even married parents of young children to "slip away" for sex. When my oldest daughter was a toddler, my ex and I used to put Teletubbies on and use a hallway coat closet. It was our only chance due to school and work hours.My fiancee's ex locked her toddler children in the basement in front of the tv so that she could have her inappropriate relations upstairs in the middle of the day
Anyway, I think its appropriate for the courts not to bring adultery into child custody decisions. Men and women cheat for a variety of reasons..not just because they're immoral and frankly, I disagree that it is a reflection on their ability to parent. One isn't a bad parent because they cheat on their spouse or a good parent because they don't.
The court decides the quality of the relationship that each spouse has with the children based on more relevant factors.
Just my opinion, however.Comment
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So what defines poor parenting?Comment
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I am kinda perplexed how many here are defending adultery and lying as if it is not so bad or relevant.
I wonder how you would feel if your grown children came to you and said My wife/husband just admitted to a long term affair and now wants to take my kids away. Would you be preaching the virtues of their exceptional parenting after they tore your grandchildrens home to pieces?
Just a thought.Comment
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Title of this thread, lol, would make a good chapter for a book, but, I don't think morals are relevant, concerning the issue. What ever happened to each their own, so to say, concerning parenting and custody.
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