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Can I just leave with the kids?

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  • Can I just leave with the kids?

    Is it illegal for me to leave my spouse of 8 years with our two kids (5 and 6 years old)? I want to do it this month and move into a place in the same city for just me and my two kids but havent told my spouse yet.

    When I do tell my spouse can he prevent us from leaving? Is this kidnapping?

  • #2
    Do not even think about that... In addition that you will put your-self in very hard position it's just wrong thing to do for for the kids... I repeat DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT.

    Comment


    • #3
      They really are not just your kids - how to handle the kids (where they live, how much access each of the parents have), is a joint decision.

      It does not seem right to remove the kids from their home without full knowledge both parents.

      You'll have to be a big girl, and talk to him about it.

      Comment


      • #4
        what if I talk to him about it a few weeks a head of time and he disagrees with me leaving him with the kids

        but i already have a home set up for me and my kids and i am committed to leaving in a month or so

        can he stop my legally?

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by bobafett View Post
          what if I talk to him about it a few weeks a head of time and he disagrees with me leaving him with the kids

          but i already have a home set up for me and my kids and i am committed to leaving in a month or so

          can he stop my legally?
          Why you worry only about you? And that not your kids... He probably will not be able to stop you legally (but I may be wrong here) but he can and I really hope he will (I wish he knows about your plans and just when for that stupid move so he will get sole custody and you supervised access) return kids back to their home...

          I would like to start think about kids. They are not infants. They will remember. They will ask questions. They probably will hate you for that for the rest of their life... that really wrong thing to do to kids and other parent... and that will come back to you 10x.

          Do not do it ... please.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by WorkingDAD View Post
            Why you worry only about you? And that not your kids... He probably will not be able to stop you legally (but I may be wrong here) but he can and I really hope he will (I wish he knows about your plans and just when for that stupid move so he will get sole custody and you supervised access) return kids back to their home...

            I would like to start think about kids. They are not infants. They will remember. They will ask questions. They probably will hate you for that for the rest of their life... that really wrong thing to do to kids and other parent... and that will come back to you 10x.

            Do not do it ... please.
            I think what workingDAD might have meant in a more polite way is...we dont know the family situation. If the family life is normal (no abuse) then you certainly will set yourself back when it comes to the custody hearing.

            If you want to leave because you dont want to be with him anymore, then you might want to reconsider your choice to leave and not give the father who is equal in the family unit an option to have his say. Those are the kinds of things children take sides on and they will most likely take the fathers side.

            If there is no abuse then I suggest you inform him and give him the right to seek legal councel. It sounds like you have had plenty of time to plan this out. Give him the same grace.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by cashcow4ex View Post
              I think what workingDAD might have meant in a more polite way is...we dont know the family situation. If the family life is normal (no abuse) then you certainly will set yourself back when it comes to the custody hearing.

              If you want to leave because you dont want to be with him anymore, then you might want to reconsider your choice to leave and not give the father who is equal in the family unit an option to have his say. Those are the kinds of things children take sides on and they will most likely take the fathers side.

              If there is no abuse then I suggest you inform him and give him the right to seek legal councel. It sounds like you have had plenty of time to plan this out. Give him the same grace.
              was I rude?
              If there is abuse I think father would be on a street already ... In case of abuse call police and make a point. Again if there is real abuse not just to kick him out ...

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by WorkingDAD View Post
                was I rude?
                ...
                I am not saying you were rude. I am saying that wishing the father full custody and her access while not knowing the full situation is wrong.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by cashcow4ex View Post
                  I am not saying you were rude. I am saying that wishing the father full custody and her access while not knowing the full situation is wrong.
                  For kidnap kids that would least people should get. I am truly believe that here in Canada base on society priorities (W-K-D-BM-WM) woman thinking to snap kids with her not dictated buy abuse...

                  there is 0 tolerance for abuse ...

                  I also would give 98% that in case of abuse she would write it for sure ...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    IF you feel the notion of you leaving will put you in danger...then don't tell him/her. If not, then you need to discuss how you want to leave and how an agreement will be made so that the kids can see both of you equally and not experience too much trauma. It is okay to leave a relationship that you no longer want to be in, but do not cause any more drama/trauma than you have to.

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                    • #11
                      sounds like there is no legal way he can prevent me from moving out with the kids...

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by bobafett View Post
                        sounds like there is no legal way he can prevent me from moving out with the kids...
                        no but he can legally take your a$$ back to court and order the return of the kids to their home immediately.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          He may not be able to prevent you from taking them but he will certainly get them back and likely reduce your chances of the custody arrangeement you may eventually seek. I expect once in front of a judge will will need to return them and then a long and expensive journey through court arguing custody. There is also nothing ilegal about him going and taking them back. You each have equal rights with regards to the children until a court order. Or seperation agreement spelling out custody. Is this good for the children?????

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by bobafett View Post
                            sounds like there is no legal way he can prevent me from moving out with the kids...
                            yeah nothing is stopping him from reading the board either...maybe he'll beat you to the punch line. You're not helping your children by just taking them. If you do this I hope he does get you in court and be careful if you remove the children and are found to be unresaonable in your actions and it has been detrimental to your children then you just might get the opposite of what you're trying to accomplish. Not to mention of any damage you maybe doing to the child. I feel sorry for your child.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by bobafett View Post
                              Is it illegal for me to leave my spouse of 8 years with our two kids (5 and 6 years old)? I want to do it this month and move into a place in the same city for just me and my two kids but havent told my spouse yet.

                              When I do tell my spouse can he prevent us from leaving? Is this kidnapping?

                              Can you not just sit down and face your spouse of 8 years and say..." We need to talk...I am not happy...etc ....Lets try to work out what is in the best interest for the kids as we are both parents and we are in the business of raising happy healthy children."

                              Relationships break down. Doesn't mean we can't try our best to make the kids feel safe, secure and free to love and be with both parents.

                              I think running without a word is a tad cowardly - sorry.

                              Comment

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