Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Changing Separation Agreement Components

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Changing Separation Agreement Components

    Help. I am looking for any info to be able to change a separation agreement regarding access(I don't get enough), child support ( I pay too much) and to remove the paying of the cable bill and lump sum special expenses. My ex refuses to even negotiate with me so I will need to go to court for this. My current spouse is also expecting in December and the amount I pay my ex monthly is outrageous. I also gave her the house and contents in the separation agreement. Please help!!!!

  • #2
    What do you pay your ex a month? What is your annual income? The fact that you are having a new child with your partner means nothing about your situation. If you are paying what the child support tables dictate according to your income there is not much you can do. Why did you agree to pay the cable bill?

    Comment


    • #3
      I pay my ex 760 per month child support plus 300 per month special expenses for one child. My gross income is $82000. This is more than the tables dictate. I pay her cable bill, because at the time, two years ago, I felt bad and was trying to make things as easy as possible for her. The total I pay her monthly is $1110 including the cable bill. What a mistake. I have tried to ask her to get rid of that component but she refused. I need to make changes to the agreement. Is court my only option, and if so, what do I need to do.

      Comment


      • #4
        What province are you located in? How many activities does the child do? Does it justify the extra $300 per month?
        As for the cable... that seems very odd to me...yes a mistake on your behalf, but seeing as it is in a signed separation agreement it is going to be more difficult to change... do you have a court ordered agreement? If not, start by filing your agreement with the court... also, have you asked the ex to consent to the changes? I have never been to court, but from what I have been reading on this site, you need to have proof that you have attempted to work outside the court system.

        Comment


        • #5
          ...how was the seperation agreement signed?...was it a do it urself.....when was it signed where u under duress when you signed it? (obviously) and are you settled now and setup for access?....how olds the child....is your ex after the cash or willing to work on this.....SELF REP you got nuthin to lose.....everythings changable.....first thing is working with ex...ask in writing for more access (50 percent)...if ur denied thats your starting point (remember even if you get 50 percent there's a offset you pay if you make more..negotiable..offer it up front so ex doesn't think she'll get zero cash)...never ever make the issue about mullah (which it has to be but hide the fact)......if your not sincere you'll be found out and costs will be awarded to your ex....you gotta do wat you say your going to do..move for a interium order for increased access after the case confernece...if rejected you'll have to bring in a child lawyer(ridiculous) and shrinks (depends on how far the ex wants to go) (your going all the way)...read case law...canll...get this stuff done while the child is young and you'll be rewarded for it in the years ahead....status quo means a life time of 2nd guessing yourself and anguish later...my opinion regulars so back off...lol

          Comment


          • #6
            Just remember, when the court considers "best interests of the children", they don't mean your upcoming child at all. The children from the first marriage are all that matter.

            Yeah, family law is a little messed up.

            Comment


            • #7
              If you both had legal representation when you signed the Separation Agreement, it might be hard to change.

              If you didn't, that will make it easier. Probably will be able to argue unforeseen circumstances.

              The FCSG do allow for "undue hardship" but uphill battle.

              Most legally drafted Sep Agreements have a clause covering amendments...usually requiring both parties to agree in writing...hmmm.

              Next time, use a lawyer to draft your Agreement ; you won't make dumb mistakes.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Janus View Post
                Just remember, when the court considers "best interests of the children", they don't mean your upcoming child at all. The children from the first marriage are all that matter.

                Yeah, family law is a little messed up.
                I disagree... I don't think family law is messed up because they don't consider new families... The main reason my bf and I are holding off on having kids is because he has 2 younger children from his first marriage. We realize that his first children must have everything they need before we can start a new family.

                Family law is messed up in many ways but one of those reason isn't because it does not account for new families... In my opinion

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                  I disagree... I don't think family law is messed up because they don't consider new families... The main reason my bf and I are holding off on having kids is because he has 2 younger children from his first marriage. We realize that his first children must have everything they need before we can start a new family.

                  Family law is messed up in many ways but one of those reason isn't because it does not account for new families... In my opinion
                  Imagine I have one kid.

                  Then I have a second kid. The standard of living for the first kid will drop, and the result will be that both kids will have the same standard of living.

                  Imagine if I told my second child "well, you were born second, so your older brother gets to go to private school, but you have to go to public school. Also, only your older brother gets tutors, hockey equipment, and vacations outside the country".

                  If you are the second child, and your parents are happily married, such a statement would be monstrous. In family law, not only is it acceptable, but it is the law.

                  I stand by my statement, it is totally messed up.

                  Punishing the second kid for the sins of his parent is, in my opinion, a complete abrogation of duty to the children by our legal system.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    When you are together you decide whether you can afford more children or not. Why should the first childs standard of living drop when one of their divorced parents decide to start a new family? How many children would be born out of 'sticking it to the ex' if ones responsibility dropped by having more children?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                      ...how was the seperation agreement signed?...was it a do it urself.....when was it signed where u under duress when you signed it? (obviously) and are you settled now and setup for access?....how olds the child....is your ex after the cash or willing to work on this.....SELF REP you got nuthin to lose.....everythings changable.....first thing is working with ex...ask in writing for more access (50 percent)...if ur denied thats your starting point (remember even if you get 50 percent there's a offset you pay if you make more..negotiable..offer it up front so ex doesn't think she'll get zero cash)...never ever make the issue about mullah (which it has to be but hide the fact)......if your not sincere you'll be found out and costs will be awarded to your ex....you gotta do wat you say your going to do..move for a interium order for increased access after the case confernece...if rejected you'll have to bring in a child lawyer(ridiculous) and shrinks (depends on how far the ex wants to go) (your going all the way)...read case law...canll...get this stuff done while the child is young and you'll be rewarded for it in the years ahead....status quo means a life time of 2nd guessing yourself and anguish later...my opinion regulars so back off...lol
                      I have no idea what your post says, I got two lines in and gave up trying to translate the juvenile text speak, lack of grammar, punctuation or thought flow. Please try again using some adult language please?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                        I have no idea what your post says, I got two lines in and gave up trying to translate the juvenile text speak, lack of grammar, punctuation or thought flow. Please try again using some adult language please?
                        Oh no the punctuation police!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                          When you are together you decide whether you can afford more children or not. Why should the first childs standard of living drop when one of their divorced parents decide to start a new family? How many children would be born out of 'sticking it to the ex' if ones responsibility dropped by having more children?
                          Oh my this topic has been gone over about a hundred times...but I can't resist.

                          Why? Because when you have more children, you have less money to spend on each - simple.

                          Why should it be any different after marriage?

                          As for your comment about having kids to spite your ex financially and reduce your CS obligations - really?? That's a reason for not considering all children when determining support? You really think that is a reason someone might have a child? That's a weak argument and either way - that would be rare so why the hell should laws be based on the exceptions?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by billm View Post
                            Why? Because when you have more children, you have less money to spend on each - simple.
                            Billm you and I agree on a number of things, and my answer to this is likely going to come off as blunt.....but.....

                            if and when a person decides to have a kid, whether or not they were previously divorced and have to pay c/s, that person/couple should look at their income and expenses. If having a child is going to put a financial strain on that person/couple and they can't afford their current standard of living, that couple has 2 choices:

                            1. don't have kids; or
                            2. accept that having a child will reduce their current standard of living.

                            It is a simple matter of priorities. If one's priority is children, go ahead, have more kids. But also be prepared to accept the consequences for that decision and understand that how you lived before is not how it is going to be in the future.

                            As for the OP, there are a number of factors involved in re-opening a separation agreement. Did you have a lawyer at the time? Was this a do it yourself job? Have you filed it with the courts to open a case file to even file a motion to amend? What are the costs that are covered by the $300?

                            File the agreement with the courts. Request to mediate the topic from there. She isn't likely to want to agree to anything as she will be getting less money and will not agree.

                            Unfortunately you fell on your sword in preparing the agreement and now feeling the effects of those bad decisions. Can it be reopened? Yes, it likely can. How much in legal fees will it cost you to reduce these costs? That is the bigger question....

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              A) if he does nothing it'll cost him big time for the next 18 years
                              B) why live with regrets for 18 years
                              c) if he self reps and is fairly intelligent it won't cost him that much
                              D) why dishearten this guy on his journey...I say good luck...going for more time with the kids should be a no brainer it's only the family court that makes it a little interesting

                              oh and blinkandI'mgone..I'm offering an opinion..... it seems your only job is to chase people around to tick them off and then boot them, your a coward with way to much time on your hands....go away

                              Comment

                              Our Divorce Forums
                              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                              Working...
                              X