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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 09-27-2020, 01:49 PM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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Default Not facilitating access..the excuse

Hi

So since covid I never get my kids and the ex doesn't help.

We did an emergency motion and ex got a scathing warning from the judge.. essentially if her behavior continues the access will flip to exclusive to me...her behavior was horrid.
Among other things, ordered that on arrival to my house she was to exit the vehicle and assist.


That was June...and nothing changed

This month, 2 weekends the ex refused to exit her car to assist bc she was on her period...will that ever in a million years be an acceptable excuse...
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  #2  
Old 09-27-2020, 02:11 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Why does she need to get out of the car to assist? Are you unable to take a child out if a car seat? Or put them in?

You are just as ridiculous.
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Old 09-27-2020, 02:25 PM
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My daughter is 8 and resists. If I try to pull daughter out, the ex will make a scene. Essentially I do go out..I do song and dances to try and get them out while she sits on her phone and does nothing. My daughter is maligned and it is incumbent on the mother to get her out. That is the court order. When my daughter insults my family including my 3 year old nephew, she says nothing and somewhat encourages it. When my daughter actually mocks me, she does nothing.

She also will talk shit about my family at the access.
In addition if my son is inside I have to watch him bc witnessing the exchanges are quite hostile. A 5 year old does not need to see his sister punch and kick and walk out to his mother talking smack..when he does get out she pulls him into the car and tries to use him to get her in

The ex is gaslighting the kids, encouraging my daughter to call my dad the swear king. Yesterday the ex refused to walk the kids to car bc of her period. I was sitting on her steps trying to get my son and comforting him bc he is confused, my daughter comes out to insult me and my mom...I correct her behavior...the ex then gets up to chastise me for correcting the behavior.

She was also told when my daughter does not come with me that she is to not have electronics or go shopping or sleepovers as it rewards my daughter..that continues

Prior to covid I had a loving relationship with my daughter...now alienation is starting.

We have court on Thursday to deal with in person school...she unilaterally put them in virtual learning despite our area being very low risk for covid. There is no order on decision making. She has told the kids that if they don't come with me they will have to go to school.

So I'm sorry for not giving all those details up front, but I am not rediculous..I am doing everything I can but when she cannot even be bothered to walk 5he kids to my car..the excuses will fly
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Old 09-27-2020, 02:31 PM
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I should also add in that all these issues started bc I was unable to pay the full ss amount despite the fact that pre covid I was overpaying 2k a month and covid dropped my income by 30 percent. We tried discussing...when access would not happen I would text when can I get her tomorrow and the reply would be "whenever you give me the rest of my money, or it's not my problem"...so yes I'm very much dealing with a high conflict situation that is damaging my kids...and sorry I didn't explain all the context upfront
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Old 09-27-2020, 03:38 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Go to the car and get the kid out. Period. You are the parent. If your child kicks and screams then you exact a specific punishment when you get in the house. Your daughter knows she can do this because she has gotten away with it.

If that doesnt work, use bribes. Daddy has a special treat for you in the house come and see.
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Old 09-27-2020, 03:43 PM
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I have done all of that...all of it

If I try to grab the ex will.scream and make situation worse...

All these basic suggestions have been done...it's been 6 months
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Old 09-27-2020, 03:46 PM
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Again..all these issues have gone before a judge

Did not criticise what I was doing at all

It is �� the responsibility of the parent dropping the kid off to make sure access happens..

Essentially said if mom does not change her ways the kids will be with me exclusively..so all these suggestions have been done
I got her a giant Barbie house for cripes sake

The situation is very much parental alienation..my daughter recruits her 5 year old brother to hate my nephew and recruits him to not come with me..she's 8..it's a major issue
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Old 09-27-2020, 03:55 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Then file a motion. If its been six months and she was warned you file an emergency motion.
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Old 09-27-2020, 03:58 PM
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We did in June won handidly
Then have for school

We tried emergency motion for contempt but the judge triaged it to regular motions. Contempt is a tough but I have claer proof
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Old 09-27-2020, 04:28 PM
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I would also recommend therapy. If she is that manipulative at 8 then you will have difficulty as she ages.
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