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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 08-24-2020, 01:07 PM
Mother Mother is offline
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Default My rules of the highway

Hello again,

Hate to ask about things like this but I have no choice.

A parent demands a child to do something while the child is with the other parent. This demand is causing the kid anxiety if it's not done. Asked why, the kid said: "I am afraid xxxxxxxxx is gonna be mad and scream at me".

This "rule" has never been discussed or even mentioned to the other parent.

The child was told: this is what you must do going forward. When opposed by the other parent, they wrote: I have my rules and the child must follow these rules (paraphrasing).start respecting my rules. period no if or but. The highlighted is the exact quote from this correspondence.

Should the other parent follow the first parent's rules?

Thank you
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Old 08-24-2020, 02:02 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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What each parent does on their own time is there business. Which means the other parent does not have to follow any of the other parents unreasonable rules.

(Be polite etc is not an unreasonable rule).

Then the parent being dictated to ignores the other parent.
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Old 08-24-2020, 02:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
What each parent does on their own time is there business. Which means the other parent does not have to follow any of the other parents unreasonable rules.

(Be polite etc is not an unreasonable rule).

Then the parent being dictated to ignores the other parent.

Thank you rockscan.This dictatorship does not end for years.
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Old 08-24-2020, 06:33 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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I agree. But that is also throwingbthe kid under the bus as the other parent will interrogate the child about the rule-breaking. Can you get into co-parenting counselling (ideally) or, a poor second choice, individual counselling for the child? Children sometimes feel they are in counselling because there is something wrong with THEM, and not that one parent is using poor doing skills. At least with individual counselling for the child notes can be produced in court or during assessments to hopefully change parenting time. Or, at the least, help the child cope with diametric instructions.
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Old 08-24-2020, 08:24 PM
Mother Mother is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tilt View Post
I agree. But that is also throwingbthe kid under the bus as the other parent will interrogate the child about the rule-breaking. Can you get into co-parenting counselling (ideally) or, a poor second choice, individual counselling for the child? Children sometimes feel they are in counselling because there is something wrong with THEM, and not that one parent is using poor doing skills. At least with individual counselling for the child notes can be produced in court or during assessments to hopefully change parenting time. Or, at the least, help the child cope with diametric instructions.
Oh dear tilt! I know everybody here is writing how they are all nice and peachy and it's the other party who is nasty and disgusting. I am trying to evaluate the situation honestly. But no matter how hard I try I cannot find any excuses for the majority of actions of that parent.

My way or the highway is the theme of that parent for all these years and no amount of communication and convincing and reasoning is working and it never will. It will work only if the answer is "yes" to all they want. Nasty emails, tantrums and threats in writing every time the MWHW (My Way High Way) parent doesn't get what they want.

I remember the words of the family lawyer who said about the parent in question: xxxxxxx is not negotiable. Three lawyers later, that parent is exactly the same as they were years ago: not negotiable, my way or the highway.

Mediation was attempted with zero results. It was again: my way or the highway.

So, with regards to co-parenting counseling, one parent is all for it. But the other parent is against any counseling, not for themselves, not for the child. As they say: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. So running out of options here.
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Old 08-24-2020, 08:49 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Then that parent needs to be ignored and when kid(s) is (are) old enough they can let their feet do the talking.
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Old 08-24-2020, 09:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Then that parent needs to be ignored and when kid(s) is (are) old enough they can let their feet do the talking.
Oh dear!
CAS was involved at least 5 times in the last 2 years. Three out of these 5 times it was involved by the officials as the child refused to get on the bus to go back to the MWHW parent. No results of these involvements were made available to the other non MWHW parent who was advised that CAS needs at least one year (!!!???) to produce a report. Here we go, two years later and having zero info about these investigations. No wonder CAS itself is now under investigation.
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Old 09-03-2020, 06:28 PM
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Is he asking that the child wear a mask in stores? Or that the child looks both ways before crossing the street? Guess it depends on the nature of the situation. Either way he doesn’t sound fun to communicate with. Listen to Rock... your time = your rules. That’s the simple reply to him.
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