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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 09-27-2020, 04:33 PM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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I suggested that but she asserts that I am the problem and nothing wrong with kids

We had therapy for our daughter..she missed 33 of 52 appts
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  #12  
Old 09-28-2020, 09:32 AM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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What a mess. There are more and more cases popping up regarding COVID and school, and it appears the courts are leaning towards in-class learning unless there are legitimate health concerns of the child or parent(s).

Lots of crap going on at exchanges that needs to stop. Can't you tailor access so that exchanges are done through the school? Mom drops off kid and says Dad is picking you up.
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  #13  
Old 09-28-2020, 09:36 AM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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Hard right now for drop off spots bc covid.

I also view that as a bandaid to an underlying behavior problem.

On Friday when I went to get my daughter out of car..she brought up a play she saw with my mom when she was 2 and how it was fake frozen play and it was bad of my mom to take her.
I vaguely remember her loving it bc she was 2.
It's called gaslighting.
She is telling my kids my dad tried to kill her.

I really can't see a shared parenting plan working bc of alienation campaign...her mom did the same thing to her when she was that age so I am not suprised
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  #14  
Old 09-28-2020, 11:36 AM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Get your school situation figured out asap and then pick up your kid at school, and you drop off at school, etc.

With regards to your ex's behaviour, you cannot fix crazy. You cannot force your ex into counseling to change her ways. You cannot control your ex to act a certain way, or not act another way. In court you will say she badmouths you and she will say she doesn't, and judge will tell you to both cut the crap. Focus on you and your time with your kid, not what your ex is saying. Kids figure it out eventually on their own regarding bad-mouthing other parent.

Also, you are misusing the term gaslighting. Gaslighting is when someone pushes your buttons to get you from calm to angry, and then when you finally get angry and try to address the button-pushing, they point the finger at you suggesting you have anger problems.
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  #15  
Old 09-28-2020, 11:40 AM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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I cannot fix her behavior but if consistently my behavior is rationale hopefully the assessor sees shared parenting cannot happen.

Gaslighting is any type of psychological technique where you alter someone's perception of reality
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  #16  
Old 09-28-2020, 01:55 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Sounds like you have 2 options:

1- Bandaid solution of having all exchanges through school (provided you prevail on Thursday) and avoid further court. Focus on your kid during your time and forgetting about the garbage your ex spews; or
2- Document the pettyness and see roll the dice in court.

Neither will change your ex.
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  #17  
Old 09-28-2020, 02:07 PM
Kkc Kkc is offline
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I will do both...I have impecable documentation

We still have access assessment and she is lying to him as well.

And next will be contempt.
I really don't want any of this nonsense and I want a shared parenting plan to work bc that is what is best but alienation is not tolerated by anyone..I can't change her but I can protect my kids
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  #18  
Old 09-28-2020, 09:53 PM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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I don't mean to belabour your situation, but its Option 1, OR Option 2. If you choose Option 1, it means you are taking the high road, avoiding court (and saving yourself lots of money that can be used on kids) and simply have exchanges through school, be the best parent you can to your kids during your time, and stop worrying about what your ex is saying. In court, she can say that she talks you up all the time at her home...
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  #19  
Old 09-29-2020, 09:28 AM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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The exchanges are not the issue. As you said parental alienation and abuse.

Documentation often runs into a he said / she said. Video and witnesses help avoid that.

Exchange centers were made for this type of stuff. One parent goes in with the kids and drops them off. 5 minutes later, after they leave the other parent picks the child up. No parental contact but that means it is hard to document the other parties behavior.

Not much help to you but others may find it useful.
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  #20  
Old 09-29-2020, 04:34 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Question- why are you still with your parents? It seems as if she's using it for ammunition. I know the other parent shouldn't dictate your living situation. But are you still in the middle of litigation?
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