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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 05-12-2020, 11:52 AM
Abba435 Abba435 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Eastern Ontario
Posts: 395
Abba435 has a little shameless behaviour in the past

Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
And you have just proven my and a number of others points about control, having the last word and getting over yourself.

Good luck in your endeavours, youll need it.

Anyone looking to follow any of this posters advice, take a beat and seek out some additional wisdom from anyone else.
And the last word goes to ? Really? I have been schooled.
Thank you and stay safe.
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Old 05-12-2020, 10:54 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,411
blinkandimgone is a jewel in the roughblinkandimgone is a jewel in the roughblinkandimgone is a jewel in the rough

Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
Hi All,

How do people out there handle double-standards?
The simple answer:

We don't. We tune out the noise until something relevant comes up and respond only to that.

Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
It is as though she is upset I bring back the kids with smiles on their faces.
She is. The goal is to bring you down when you and the kids are content. Ignore it. It loses the 'fun factor' for her when she gets zero reaction.

It also appears, from the examples you posted, that she is over-informed and as far too many details about the goings-on when the kids are with you. It's one thing to make her aware that the kid is not feeling well and is taking 'X' medication, it's another thing entirely to go into any detail about taking the kids to the store to get it, or any of the other details.

If she is emailing you re: video games, ice cream, what you had for dinner or any other nonsense, no response is required. Ever. If there is a piece of relevant info buried in the emails, respond only to the relevant item and filter out the rest.

That being said, just because something is simple, doesn't make it easy. Don't read her emails right away, the chances of there being something so urgent that it needs immediate attention are very low (anything urgent or an emergency would be a phone call). Read the emails when you want to, write your response, sit on it for a while, re-read your response and make sure it's what you want to reply with before hitting send. Use the time to filter out anything you don't need to say or respond to. Practice this consistently and refuse to be ruffled by her attempts to pick at you.

Then YOU can enjoy the satisfaction of her frustration knowing that her blah blah blah has zero effect on you.
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