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  • Need some feedback, this is long ;)

    Hello all,

    Here is my situation. I am a stay at home parent. We have 3 children ages 2,3 and 12. My wife and I have been married for 12 years. Recently, my wife started a new job this past summer and ever since, we have been drifting apart. She started coming home later and later. At first I thought it was because she has more responsibilities and such. But that wasn't the case, entirely. She had made several new friends and it seemed each night there was always an excuse. I am at home with the kids from sun up to sundown and she is nowhere to be found. Well, I decided to ask her one day if she missed me and the kids and that is when it hit the fan.

    She told she didn't know if she wanted to be married to me anymore and I was just blown away. The more we talked the more we argued. I have tried to be more understanding, but it is just not getting any better. We ended up having the "what if" talk concerning our children and what would happen if we divorced.
    She said that we would share the kids 50/50 and that she would pay alimony and child support since I was the stay at home parent. This is kinda the opposite of most relationships. My life has pretty much been raising the kids over the years.

    Six years ago we moved to a new state for her career. If we divorce, I would like to move back to the state where both of our families live. I really have nothing where I am currently residing. I would like to move back closer to home for the family support and such. I know she has no desire to move and I am wondering if I have any options? She has her new friends, which I think is related in some way, to our possible seperation. It is just a guess though. She doesn't tell me much. Do I have any options regarding taking my kids and moving back home? I have a feeling that I don't simply for the fact regarding the 50/50 split of our children if we do divorce. I dont know how this will effect the kids, my kids are very attached to me, at least the two little ones, I cannot move without them locking on to me. Can anyone offer some advice or suggestions to this matter? Sorry for the babble, this is just kind of pooring out as I type. Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time to read my post.
    J.P.
    Last edited by Jeff; 10-30-2005, 07:38 PM.

  • #2
    Bosox,

    Sorry to hear about your circumstance;

    Have you discussed the what if you moved away with the children talk with your spouse to get her opinion and her stance?

    Once you have a clear perspective where you stand, I would say research the law of your jurisdiction and how it applies to your situation. Once you have that I would speak to a lawyer. Some jurisdictions will not allow another parent to move or have conditions in place to sustain and foster the relationship between the stay behind parent and the children. Other jurisdictions will.

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    • #3
      Thanks for the feedback. We have not discussed it as of yet. I talked with a lawyer and he suggested that you wait on that situation until after the divorce has been finalized. He suggested that it would be the next step, after the parenting issues have been arranged.

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      • #4
        I think whether you will be able to move will depend on many factors. This will include what the court rules for custody arrangements if you too do not come to an agreement on your own. THey will consider what is in the best interest of the children. I believe that since you are a stay at home dad and the mother is in the state she is in for her career she may have more pull on the children staying in that state. But I don't know for certain.

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        • #5
          I have decided that if we do divorce, that I will just stay in state. I think it will make the whole situation easier to manage. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.

          Comment

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