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  • #16
    Wow, I'm glad I quit facebook. This is way more interesting!! I'm nobody's step-anything. Just wanted to agree: first names are the way to go. "No BS categorization"

    Comment


    • #17
      Haha, lots of drama here unfortunately with some peanut gallery to boot. Grab a chair, get comfortable and stay positive. I just read some of your story to boot, hope all is getting better.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
        How distasteful, considering you dont even pay your minimum CS.

        And I'm growing weary of step moms.. If the fathers can't learn, communicate, and make changes, for the sake of their children, but instead rely on their new relationships or new wives.. Bluh. Just bluh.

        You really are showing yourself to be very insulting to people who are struggling to deal with overwhelmingly difficult situations.

        You have said yourself that you have even been unscathed by the system (lucky you) which means you have no actual experience what so ever in dealing with someone who is hell bent on destroying the sanctity of family for what ever reason (greed, anger, mental dysfunctions).


        May I suggest getting off your high horse?



        Good for you Baldclub!!!

        And welcome hadenough. Most people on here are supportive and offer reasonable assistance in dealing with the machine that is family law. Then there are a few who like to sit pretty collecting their monies touting how wonderful the system is.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by baldclub View Post
          Just saw this post, you're definitely entitled to your opinion but I think you're definitely right out to lunch. I have no recrimination for my saving money to buy a bed for my kids after them sleeping on one mattress together for way to long while for example the oldest had a king size at his mother's.

          You obviously have no idea what you're talking about in regards to fathers communication, learning abilities and making changes, not to speak of trashing step moms. By the way, we do not even use the word step-mom, or step sibling for that matter, it's just first names, no bullshit categorization. The children have a mother and a father already, I don't try to replace anyone like my ex vainly tries.Your comment shows little in the way of constructive criticism that it needs to be totally regarded as uninformed and useless.

          Been thinking about this since you posted. Still maintain that you are a louse.

          It took me about 3 weeks post separation to figure out I couldn't make ends meet. Met with my employer, started taking work home at night and once dd was asleep, put in another 4 hours a night working extra files. On weekends when she wasn't with me, and was with her dad, I took a retail job selling fashion clothes at minimum wage. Why? So I could put food on the table and provide for my kid.

          By the way, we also slept together for the first 2 years, on the one mattress I did own.

          I also didn't have Internet at home so didn't have the privilege of an online divorce board, like you apparently seem to have, nor did I have a personal cell phone.

          So screw you, and man up. Stop relying on some other guy to parent your kids.
          Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

          Comment


          • #20
            mcdreamy, it's going to take a little more than your cheap shots to prove you really have any value posting here. This is a forum for adults, people that actually have something to contribute.

            Over and out.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by karmaseeker View Post
              You really are showing yourself to be very insulting to people who are struggling to deal with overwhelmingly difficult situations.

              You have said yourself that you have even been unscathed by the system (lucky you) which means you have no actual experience what so ever in dealing with someone who is hell bent on destroying the sanctity of family for what ever reason (greed, anger, mental dysfunctions).


              May I suggest getting off your high horse?



              Good for you Baldclub!!!

              And welcome hadenough. Most people on here are supportive and offer reasonable assistance in dealing with the machine that is family law. Then there are a few who like to sit pretty collecting their monies touting how wonderful the system is.
              Karma, look to your own high horse.

              Good for bald club? In what manner? Good that he hasnt paid CS since separation?

              If the word "stepparent" is insulting, you've been watching too many Disney movies.

              My dd has a father and a stepfather, and they will both walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. And both my dd and her stepfather are quite proud and content with their relationship.

              Unscathed by the system, yes, we were simply never in it. Unscathed? No, I simply sucked up most of the issues, and let them go. See "get a job and take care of your kid" above.

              And back to my initial tired of stepmom comment - is there some reason that he isn't moving his own program forward? you dedicate how much time to the endeavor for a fair system in the courts? It would be heard twice as clearly if it came from him. When you say, fathers unite, I agree. The fathers must unite and be heard. No one else can tell the story. You can't tell it for him, it doesn't have the same impact.
              CODE][/CODE]
              Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by baldclub View Post
                mcdreamy, it's going to take a little more than your cheap shots to prove you really have any value posting here. This is a forum for adults, people that actually have something to contribute.

                Over and out.
                Get a job. Or 2, like I did. Then you are contributing to your kids.

                Over and out.
                Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Really?? There are ppl on here who say how wonderful the system is? Ha! That shouldn't even be permitted! What drugs does someone have to be "on" to say such a thing?! The "system" is BULLSHIT. Ineffective and Tragic. Never have I seen or heard more BS in my entire life as I have witnessed in our "system" - IT SUCKS A** - plain and simple. You go into it expecting justice (how lofty is that?) And you get spit out on the other side a former shadow of who and what you once were. Lighter in the pockets, wary, battle-weary and scarred. If that sounds like an exaggeration I make no apologies. Now, lol; if only I could figure out how to get OUT of this awful maze. It's like being turned into a Soldier. It keeps pulling you back in. Aside from that: this is a good forum. Many intelligent thoughts and ideas shared. As for arguments; well it would be pretty boring if there were NO differences of opinions, agreed??

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                    Really?? There are ppl on here who say how wonderful the system is? Ha! That shouldn't even be permitted! What drugs does someone have to be "on" to say such a thing?! The "system" is BULLSHIT. Ineffective and Tragic. Never have I seen or heard more BS in my entire life as I have witnessed in our "system" - IT SUCKS A** - plain and simple. You go into it expecting justice (how lofty is that?) And you get spit out on the other side a former shadow of who and what you once were. Lighter in the pockets, wary, battle-weary and scarred. If that sounds like an exaggeration I make no apologies. Now, lol; if only I could figure out how to get OUT of this awful maze. It's like being turned into a Soldier. It keeps pulling you back in. Aside from that: this is a good forum. Many intelligent thoughts and ideas shared. As for arguments; well it would be pretty boring if there were NO differences of opinions, agreed??
                    Lol, you are right, the world would be extremely boring without some arguments or discussion.

                    I get the system sucks, I just didn't go into it. I can't deal with confrontation. I left the matrimonial home, I left the equity, I wanted out and I wanted out as easily as possible, which meant leaving everything behind for him. I knew I could pull it together, for our kid, it just meant a lot of extra working hours.

                    In 15 years I have not asked for section 7, nor have I asked for noa's. If our daughter needs something extra, I work extra hours/files to get it done.

                    Which is probably why it sticks in my craw that posters come on here and brag about not paying CS, yet demand change to the system.
                    Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      It is commendable that you were able to "walk away." I never saw that route as an option for myself. I think you did yourself and your child a huge favor in many respects. After 4 years of legal BS, I feel battered and bruised and supposedly, I "won"- it's all just pcs and piles of paper. Files and briefs, half of which never got seen or heard. I have one more matter to settle up with regards to the ex. I'm too far in now to walk away and I will finish what got started. But once that's done: I hope never to be in Court again. I've got some unfinished business - and then I will hang up my battle gear once and for all. Also, I didn't know anyone was bragging about, or proud of the fact that they don't pay CS. I have some huge decisions to make as I've been turned into financial roadkill, even w/the recent support order in an amount that's 4x what he was paying. Its too late. And it's just numbers on paper. I haven't seen a dime yet. The route you took isn't for everyone, but you have my complete and utter respect/admiration. Not only that: what a fine "life lesson" you taught your child. I'm starting to think I taught my child that I'm a super warrior. It doesn't feel all that good. Warriors get very tired, and the pay is lousy. I will never know what I could have done/experienced with what I now feel are the "lost years" :S

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        McDreamy:

                        Congratulations on ending your divorce dispute without having to go to court...unfortunately, that's really not an option for many.

                        I agree with you on the new "rabid" girlfriend getting way over-involved in her boyfriend's divorce drama. I cannot see how under any circumstances it wouldn't just make it far worse and create ridiculous amounts of nonsense. New gf's and partners are wonderful for support...someone to vent to or offer advice...but that's where it should end.

                        Bottom line, a man marries and has multiple children with a woman, he should be grown up and man enough to deal with that on his own. I would NEVER let my new partner over-interfere with my divorce. I would never want a partner who used me that way either. I really think its pure weakness for a grown man/woman to use a new partner in this way. And it shows a severe lack of maturity from both sides.

                        Its also ridiculous how "male-focused" all these threads are. Women are not walking out of family court richer than they walked in...its just total nonsense. Lawyers are making a lot of money and families are getting screwed. I know as many women that lose their financial security as men. And I know as many women that have faced the threat of losing their children.

                        I roll my eyes at most of these threads since they exhibit a whiny agenda about the mistreatment of one gender. They're basically a pile of crap. I support anyone male/female trying to make it through family court with a fair dissolution of a difficult marriage. You should be able to end a bad relationship without losing your children or your financial security regardless of gender.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          PH; thank you for your no nonsense post. I've had an insane amt of involvement/meddling/harassment from my ex's new wife. I do not know her. I've never met her. I was appalled at how she jumped right in. Yes, very immature. Like Highschool behavior. I cannot and will not get involved w/anyone until this is well behind me. I don't want a new relationship for myself under these circumstances. I need to clean up this mess, try to pick up the pcs. And so true: there is a lot of gender-based posts on here. I'm a woman and I sure didn't walk out of Court "richer" - a lot of men think it's aimed at "taking them to the cleaners" - what a load of crap. Courts don't discriminate. Anyone who enters is going through the "spin" cycle, over and over again. For me: Court could not be avoided.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post

                            Its also ridiculous how "male-focused" all these threads are. Women are not walking out of family court richer than they walked in...its just total nonsense. Lawyers are making a lot of money and families are getting screwed. I know as many women that lose their financial security as men. And I know as many women that have faced the threat of losing their children.

                            I roll my eyes at most of these threads since they exhibit a whiny agenda about the mistreatment of one gender. They're basically a pile of crap. I support anyone male/female trying to make it through family court with a fair dissolution of a difficult marriage.
                            I agree and disagree with you:

                            1. Many have experienced a gender inequality in dealing with the courts, not really ridiculous in my opinion. There is no doubt that women also get the short end of the stick at times, it is a crazy world. I think more pressure to needs to be applied to focus on solving outstanding issues instead of running to court for the answers.

                            2. Your words are bang on when you say: You should be able to end a bad relationship without losing your children or your financial security regardless of gender.
                            Last edited by baldclub; 10-19-2011, 10:56 PM. Reason: Clarity

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              All a bunch of fkn BS. This system is fkd

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                                And I know as many women that have faced the threat of losing their children.
                                Out of those women that faced that threat, what percentage actually did?

                                13%? 15%?

                                Hmmm.

                                Comment

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