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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #1  
Old 03-17-2006, 12:38 AM
Insights Insights is offline
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Question What if they never financially disclose or get a lawyer?

HI, I'm new to the boards.

Since 2002 my x has never disclosed. He only had a lawyer for a short time ummm about 4 months. This has been an ongoing expensive mess.

After my 1st lawyer to which I paid $10,000.00 in cash did manage to get an Interim Interim Order in 2002. Then up to July 2004 we were at a long stand-still simply because all court orders were ignored and court dates cancelled. He never did get another lawyer.

Then I was forced to turn to Legal Aid in September 2004. (I am disabled) and simply did not know what else to do.

We managed to get to court on March 3, 2006....now the problem is my paper work is deemed 'out of date'. This really pisses me off in the most profound way. There is no way for me to get any updated information on my X he has gone underground. Even the Boilermakers Union is hiding him....grrr. Maintenance Enforcement has worked very hard at trying to locate him, sometimes they have been fortunate to find him and collect some arrears. However within a week or so he is off and running again.

My question is.....Has anyone here experienced this before? And how can I be expected to 'update my papers' when there is no way to locate him? My last tax file on him was in 2000 and his income was $120,000.00. At that time his career was just starting to take off.

And YES I certainly do expect spousal support if it were not for him I wouldn't be disabled. I feel at least owed that much. And my medical files support this.

Thanks,

Feeling really stuck,
Insights
  #2  
Old 03-17-2006, 01:31 AM
lady_of_the_moon lady_of_the_moon is offline
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Default sorry to hear that....

Is there any point at which it becomes a criminal matter? I know that in some provinces, they have the power to do things like revoke drivers licenses... is there any such thing in Ontario? If not, there should be.
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Old 03-17-2006, 03:14 PM
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Sorry to hear about your situation!

The one thing about financial disclosure is that it's very easy to prove whether it has been provided or not. If you don't have a court order that your ex provide financial disclosure, you should get that. If you have it and the court order hasn't been complied with, you can bring a contempt motion.

You can also get an order that a third party provide the required documentation (e.g. CRA, bank or a former employer, etc). That way you don't need to keep chasing your ex. This may be an easier route to take.

Also, if you do have an order for child support and your ex is not paying it, the enforcement agencies can do things like take away his driver's licence, passport and ultimately throw him in jail.

As well, if the last tax return of his shows that he earned $120,000 per year, most judges would at least on a temporary basis order support to be paid based on that amount, especially if your ex was not showing up in court and you had minimal income because you are disable..
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Old 03-17-2006, 07:06 PM
Insights Insights is offline
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Thank you Lady_of_the_Moon and Jeff, for such a prompt response.

I'm in Alberta and from what I've been told is that "contempt of court" for CiVil, is a gray matter. In my case the largest issue is he is M.I.A (missing in action). No address of any kind no phone and his family members are very quiet. As they certainly are protecting him. There has been a 'blanket bank search' that came up a zero, nadda.

He is a Boilermaker and with that Union however, they withhold any information. Oddly enought this really is the 'good-ol-boys-club'. I know during my marriage this... in the past, has been a massive issue for women in my situation. What is exceptionally horrific is that I have 2 brothers in the very same union (they too are boilermakers) and both my brothers have notified me when they have seen him on job sites. Sadly, within hours or days my x quits and moves on to another job. The oil industry is all about $$$ and people keep their lips sealed for fear that they will be 'black balled' hence, the *possible* loss of their over paid careers.

My x has had countless employers sometimes up to 5 or more in a month. As Terry from Special Investigations of MEP has told me, "there simply is not enough man power to keep on top of your file with us, as with your case you will always require a special investigations team. We do not have the funds to do this."

Since March of 2003 my x has lost his license several times and they give it back to him once he reaches the arrears amount of $6,000.00. My x also has had a Baliff Officer after him since May of 2003 because he purchased a new SUV and never made a payment to the bank. This Baliff Officer can not find him either. I've also paid a 'skip-tracer' to do some research which sadly, turned up nothing.

I have an RCMP friend who did a quick search on him as well again a no go for info.

It seems to me that the courts are not really interested in the fact that this goes on and on and my lawyer did indeed state on March 3, 2006 that he was in contempt of court. However, this falls upon deaf ears because it's a Civil matter. My RCMP friend also stated this as well because they are not seen as crimminals.

My x has not filed his income tax for 2001 and nodoubt will not for this year as well. The reason for it is that he doesn't want the courts to know what his income is.

This was a very abusive marriage, and my x warned me that he would do anything within his power to make this divorce as expensive for me as possible. And that he would do his best to see us (myself and daughter) on the streets living in a box.

My frustration and exhaustion is extensive. I've always been a law abiding citizen and I'm bewildered that this is permitted to go on. After he warned me I honestly thought the 'law' would not permit this to happen. I acknowledge the facts...... that it most certainly will.

I may be disabled but, I am far from stupid. And yes, I certainly was educated and I did have a career once. During my 5 years of poverty it enrages me that within the system 'disabled' and 'poor' = low intelligence. **sorry about that rant**

I simply can not wrap my mind around the fact that people can just disapear. And when they can't be found to bad for you. Yet I have a judge demanding that my papers are to be updated!? It seems to me that something is very wrong with this picture.

On March 3rd my lawyer told me that I had to get both of my brothers into court and verify their income. Otherwise the judge will not accept my x's income level of $175,000.00..........YET I was granted a court order in May of 2005 deeming this to be an acceptable income. How can this now be thrown out now???

The reason for his income to be at $175,000.00 is that my brother and my X not only were best friends but, they joined the Boilermakers at the same time and have held the same types of job experiences throghout their 16 years of service. My eldest brother earned approx., $235,000.00 for 2005 my youngest brother who joined 2 years ago and is only an apprentice Boilermaker earned just over $130,000.00 for 2005.

My problem.....neither of my brothers will do this in order to try to prove some type of sliding scale of income for my X.

So what do I do? Quietly take whatever? Hold my head up and tell myself the system is fair? Stand up and smile at my brothers and say thanks for your non-help? Pay more money into legal aid and beg them to dig harder to locate info on my x?

On March 3rd, my lawyer actually had the balls to ask me, "why do you care about spousal support your disabled?" "Just be happy on disability."

I wouldn't even be in this financial mess had I not been stupid enough to promise my (at the time fiance later husband) to not sue him for the accident and and loss of my ability to work for the rest of my life. *rolls eyes* the moral of that story don't believe anything because stuff changes. And your SOL afterwards. A wee bit of bitterness there........yeah you bet.

Again I'm sorry I'm angry and I honestly don't even know what to do now.

Insights
  #5  
Old 03-17-2006, 10:19 PM
Grace Grace is offline
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Insights,

What a sad story. I feel your frustrations. Sounds to me like no matter what you do you will always be chasing a "paper judgement". Anyway you can get an order to go after the union to disclose his salary? Then report him to Revenue Canada, they may be able to locate him and they have the means financially to chase after him for failing to file. Eventually this will all have to catch up with him.

I take it that he doesn't have a relationship with his daughter, that goes to show what type of character he has. Money seems to be more important that his own child.

Sorry I can't be of more help, although I know my ex whereabouts I have been through the courts system for 4 years now trying to get him to disclose his true salary for child support purposes. I feel like giving up all the time too, but I have persevered.
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Old 03-18-2006, 12:06 AM
Insights Insights is offline
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Hi Grace,

I appreciate your response. I'm sorry your x has not disclosed appropriately you sound like a strong person.

In regards to the union to disclose his salary ...so far my lawyer thinks that route will be fruitless. However, I did tell my lawyer several times now to contact the Boilermakers Health & Welfare Plan so far he hasn't even managed to get a court order to investigate this. The reason I keep pushing this is because the Health & Welfare Plan for the Boilermakers ...always know who his employers are. Including the his wage because every hour of work they pay into this plan.

Next week I plan to call my lawyers office and set up an appointment as I need to 'push' the above topic. After all I've given my lawyer this information several times, ...his Policy number, address, fax, phone and whom he needs to address this issue with. I'm thinking if he won't then I will have to contact Legal Aid and file a grievance against him. I will give this one more try. This is the only other way (I believe) we can get the information.

You mentioned to report him to Revenue Canada....How do I do this? What do I say to them? I thought about this a little while ago but, I was like ummmm what do I say......errr ummm yes I'd like to notify you that....*shrugs* I dunno.

And yes he has had nothing to do with our daughter and neither has his family. In the beginning he did. Sadly he use to phone her and flipp out on her. I changed the phone number because he was causing her emotional and mental anguish. To be honest she is relieved he has not contacted her again. And your right his character is not a pleasant one hence, my wanting a divorce.

Keep on keeping on.
Insights
  #7  
Old 03-18-2006, 01:02 AM
Grace Grace is offline
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Insights,

Believe me I was in a "bad" place over this a few years ago, but time does heal. I just hope that I will not spend a better part of my life chasing after my ex.

I believe Revenue Canada, has a "snitch line" where you can report a person who you believe either do not file an income tax return or files a false claim. Look at his last income return and see if you can find his SIN, that would help. Be honest with Revenue Canada and tell them you are reporting him in hopes that they will be able to locate him, make him file and this would help you to pursue a support claim.

As for the lawyer, usually Legal Aid lawyers are carrying a large case load. Have patience.

Good Luck and keep us posted.
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