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  • Moving Out of The House

    All:

    My wife and I are struggling. She want's a divorce, I don't.

    I need some advice: What are the reasons why I should not move out of the house (it's in my name, does that matter?). Her preference is that I take an apartment somewhere close to the house.

    Would I stand a good chance at requesting 60% custody of the three children?

    Thanks

  • #2
    Standard Female Exit Plan #34:

    1 - kick dad out of house (worse when he leaves voluntarily)
    2 - get restraining order
    3 - hold on to kids - get status quo
    4 - make interim motion on satus quo
    5 - make final order on interim motion

    next...

    Comment


    • #3
      OttawaFather

      Sounds very similiar to the scenario I went through.

      Wife suggests that the husband moves out....not a great
      decision if children and joint ownership of home are involved.

      I didn't, she went for the but eventually my wife did.

      Comment


      • #4
        OttawaFather

        Sounds very similiar to the scenario I went through.

        Wife suggests that the husband moves out....not a great
        decision if children and joint ownership of home are involved.

        I didn't, she went for "exclusive possession", got denied
        and eventually my wife moved out. Kids are with me.

        Comment


        • #5
          OttawaFather, I would follow the advice as given.
          Stay in the home, stay as civil as humanly possible, not only for your own future good, but for the kids too. They do not need to see any fighting or arguing.

          But stay put, be nice, node and say yes, ok, ... she can't argue with herself if you are polite and civil.
          And maybe you'll have the kids in the end with her having visitation.

          Just the advice of a single mom

          Comment


          • #6
            I think she is planning something in the background but I do not know what. What are the legal ways of getting me out of the house? I suspect abuse? Is that all?

            Comment


            • #7
              Listen to FL!
              DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE...and be really nice to her...(it will piss her off) and spend time on your kids.
              The emotions are tough to handle, but focus on what is best for the kids, and it will work out, you'll see...!
              hang in there

              Comment


              • #8
                Ottawafather

                Just a side note.
                At some point someone will have to make the choice to leave the home.
                Usually it is the non-custodial parent, and it is usually a forced move.

                If you indeed want to seek to have shared custody and joint 50/50 access.
                Then suggest to her a plan for the “children” to stay in the home and you each take turns living in the home. You both contribute to the expenses of the home and of the costs to maintain a second residence for the parent not in the house.

                This has been accomplished by several couples for the initial separation process until the smoke clears and the children are settled into the whole parental change thing. Once that is done and either or both parents are ready to move on then a buy out of one parent’s share of the home could be done with the parent wanting the house to buy out the other. If not, then a sale with equal split of profit.

                This is a good suggestion if you can be civil and can easily accomplish this. It is also a nice transition for the children without uprooting them and turning their lives upside down while mom and dad try to settle their problems. In doing this you can establish a status quo for 50/50 access and joint custody. So once a formal split is done it will be that much easier to get the 50/50 you desire for the children. And it will give the children the time they need emotionally to get used to mom and dad not living together, but still showing them that they are number 1, and mom and dad love them enough to put them first.

                Like I said, just a thought and one worth considering if you think you and your wife can get along well enough.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Boy Scout..be prepared.

                  OttawaFather,

                  1) Be prepared for the worse. First off...for financial reasons document the contents of the house , with photographs if necessary. Any pictures or documents email to an email account that only you know about for safekeeping.In case your computer goes or it gets taken or compromised. Take a look at the balance sheet compare your assest to hers. For arguments sake, half the house is hers, include your pension, if any. She would be entitled to half that as well. (NET Family Property is all property,investments, pensions, owned by the two of you add it up subtract all debts divide by two. You should each get that amount)

                  2)If you feel it is inevitable that a split will occur then build up a war chest fund with your attorney. I ran out of money and even with great help offered by this forum you will still need an attorney.

                  3) Now you should have an idea financially where you stand. Here is an estimate of settling without going to court
                  Legal fees 3-5000

                  If you go to court simply on property issues $15,000 and up.

                  For custody even more, I would suggest a lot more.

                  4)The other experience tendereed her is valid. My understanding, stay where you are until court ordered to move.

                  5) The children: It is in the best interest of the children to maintain your relationship with your children, but do not suffer doing it. Children will sense it and it will be detrimental to them and you. Document everything you do with the kids, buy a minaiture recorder, take pictures, show how you are involved in their lives, maintain a daily journal document the date time , a witness if any. Professionals are good witnesses. Family doctors, dentists, teachers, priests are important.

                  6) Make sure that you are ok. Some compaines have an EAP program assisting with family counselling, sometimes for free. Use it for yourself your children to make sure you from an objective viewpoint are capable of looking after the children as much as you want. Get documentation.

                  (FYI: My ex left me with two mature kids, one in high school and one in University and all the bills. The marriage was dead for 6 years before this. I was self represented and survived, no I did not win, but I did alright in large part thanks to LV and this forum. I love kids, so I took my youngest with me to counselling and ensured both my kids that they were under no circumstances to be used as a go between in the marital breakdown. I told them I would do the best to take care of their needs and help them realize their dreams.
                  While I was fighting in court , I sat at counselling sessions where fathers seeking custody were being falsely accused of abuse (this is why Im saying carry a hidden pocket recorder, record anything and have witnesses.), I sat at a table where one father was living in a hostel after using up his half of the property to fight for the kids, but had no place to take them . This is the reality of these battles. Some people work it out. I hope you can..... but like a boy scout be prepared)

                  Take care, sometimes we have to put aside what we want, and lay down the groundwork for compromise.

                  Kindest regards to the members of this forum and
                  All the best,
                  Mcbroke

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hey McB,

                    Its been a long time. The knowledge,experience and wisdom that share as a member of the forum is priceless...

                    I do think that your a very rich man as you choose your children over anything else and one day your children will thank you. Children are only children for so long.

                    lv

                    Comment

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