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  • overseas travel consent

    Writing on behalf of my partner here:

    He and his ex have recently signed an agreement to transition the children (3y and 4y) to 50/50 beginning end of July. The terms of this transition are outlined in the agreement beginning with 2 weekly overnights, then 3, then moving to a 2/2/3 schedule.

    As part of the agreement, his ex negotiated for three separate vacations with the children including a 2-week vacation in March/April. During their email exchanges prior to the conference, she said she wanted this time to take them to Disney World. Since signing the agreement, she has now said she is taking the children to the Philippines with their nanny to visit the nanny's family.

    My partner is not happy about this change in plans. In his view, this is not what he agreed to. The flight time is 17h both ways (direct) and there is a 13h time change. The 3y has night terrors which are exacerbated by over-tiredness. There is an active volcano in the region where they are staying (first activity in 43 years with warnings of an imminent eruption, evacuations have already taken place 40km south of where they plan to stay). This will also further disrupt the school and residential schedules when the kids return mid-week due to the time change.

    The agreement stipulates she can have a vacation with the children during that time but it does not say where. She has requested a notarized consent form for overseas travel. Travel between Canada and the Philippines is carefully monitored so it is highly unlikely she would take the children without this form as there is a real risk of being turned away on arrival. He does not want to consent to this travel plan.

    The agreement also provides for dispute resolution with a parenting coordinator (one they have already seen) who can mediate / arbitrate any issues.

    Thoughts? Advice? What do you think a parenting coordinator would say?

    Does anyone have any experience travelling with young children in this manner?

    Appreciate your thoughts and feedback.

  • #2
    https://travel.gc.ca/destinations/philippines check above website for any travel advisories. If there is for that area/region, then you have a legitimate reason to prevent travel. Otherwise, travel is an amazing opportunity /experience for the children. If you have other reason to believe that their safety is at risk , then contact your lawyer.


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    • #3
      I agree travel is an amazing opportunity and experience for children, although I'm not sure it have as much value for very young children. In any case, he is not looking to prevent travel completely. They have already been to Cuba and the Dominican for two different week-long all-inclusive vacations.

      Thank you for the link that is very helpful. It appears Canada does not advise travel to the Philippines... "exercise a high degree of caution due to the threat of terrorism and high level of crime."

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      • #4
        I understood from your original post that your spouse was supportive of travel. The distance is daunting but I was trying to convey that only a travel advisory would create enough of a reason to prevent that particular travel.


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        • #5
          Gotcha. In your opinion then, do you think the travel advisory warnings would warrant preventing travel there? They are planning to stay south of Manila, north of Batangas.

          Anyone else? Really struggling with this one. Appreciate if anyone has personal experience with this kind of thing or how other separated parents handle overseas travel with their children.

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          • #6
            While the Philippines may not be the safest place, it isn't Syria. I would think your spouse would be on the wrong end of an emergency motion dismissing the need for his consent to the travel.

            The agreement says she may travel. He consented to this. It doesn't stipulate where, just that she can. She may have implied Disney, or may have just said it in passing like "what if I want to take the kids to Disney on March Break?" as an example to justify their request. But ultimately it doesn't matter what was implied, it matters what is written down.

            Your partners ex is allowed to use their reasonable judgement to take the kids on vacation. Going to the Philippines is not unreasonable. The ex knows the children are both young and is aware of the issues the children may have. So it isn't likely that they haven't put thought into how they will deal with this.

            My ex and I regularly consent to travel as we cross the border a few times a year, every year. I would consent to this trip and wish them a safe and fun travels.

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            • #7
              If kids mom decided to take dad to court for the consent- I see that going badly for dad- to the tune of costs.

              Hammerdad is right- dad is stepping out of bounds on this one.

              Best advice that I was given is that getting divorced means you give up a good amount of control over your kids. control that would be normal and reasonable in any other circumstance....however, if you wanted that kind of control- should've stayed married.

              Letting go is hard. There are places my ex takes our kid that I don't think are safe for her (because of her allergies)- that's my problem, not his. If it's unsafe -and is proven to be so, THEN you step in. Anything short of that is the other parent's judgment call.

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              • #8
                A Canadian travel advisory is pretty serious. No judge will consent to travel to parts of the world were the government has a ‘high risk’ level.


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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mom2414 View Post
                  A Canadian travel advisory is pretty serious. No judge will consent to travel to parts of the world were the government has a ‘high risk’ level.


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                  True, but where the OP has stated the children would be is not under a travel advisory. The op said the children would be:

                  south of Manila, north of Batangas
                  Reading the travel advisory, neither of those areas are listed.

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                  • #10
                    I think, if it were me in that situation, and I was trying to determine if I wanted to consent to child's travel to another country like the Philippines, with the other parent, I would *make sure* I know the status of that country, in regards to having an agreement with Canada, for the Hague convention, and child abduction.



                    I know Philippines is a signatory, but I'm not sure of the status, specifically between Canada and the Philippines.


                    ex.
                    https://stepstojustice.ca/steps/fami...gue-convention


                    This particular link, says as of of Jan. 19, they are not. (I would not rely on Google searches though).



                    That would probably have to be confirmed with the country's consulate or embassy office, and check with Canadian government? Again, I would make sure I knew this.


                    (not meant to be alarming, but that's important to know).


                    If the destination country was not in an agreement with Canada over that, it would be a "hard no" from me.

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                    • #11
                      While it may not be a current signatory, the ex has no connection to the country outside of the nanny. She wouldn't be a citizen and it is unlikely that the country won't simply force her to leave as she would be an illegal immigrant.

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                      • #12
                        Thanks for all your input everyone. Very much appreciated. Taking all this into consideration he has decided not to fight her on the trip.

                        Couple last questions for you all if you don't mind though. She is requesting that the consent document be notarized. Is that a real requirement? Not the end of the world just a pain in the butt and of course, there's a cost associated so at the least I think he will ask her to pay for it if it's truly necessary.

                        She has also now requested to tack on an extra few days. She had already requested to add on another two days to accommodate the long flight which he declined. In his view, he has already made a significant concession by allowing a 2-week long trip which he did not want in the first place. Now she has said they need an extra few days to accommodate a connecting flight to the region where they are staying since there are only flights on certain days. He's fine with her changing the dates of the trip to accommodate those flights so long as she doesn't extend the duration of the trip.

                        Thoughts?

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                        • #13
                          overseas travel consent

                          What I think is that it sounds like dad is playing gatekeeper. 2 days extra is*such* a concession? Really? You should tell him to let it go and wish the kids some fun and give them some souvenir money.

                          As to the notarizing, I do it all the time for employees of the municipal government I work for. Does either parent work for an organization with in-house counsel? They’ll do it for free.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
                            What I think is that it sounds like dad is playing gatekeeper. 2 days extra is*such* a concession? Really? You should tell him to let it go and wish the kids some fun and give them some souvenir money.

                            As to the notarizing, I do it all the time for employees of the municipal government I work for. Does either parent work for an organization with in-house counsel? They’ll do it for free.


                            You can also go to the municipality you live in and ask for them to sign it for free. It might be busy if you live in a big city but if its small, just go to the city hall and ask to have it commissioned.

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                            • #15
                              I would agree to the 2 extra days, but would make it contingent on the ex agreeing to give him an extra weekend in the summer, for example, to balance things out.

                              As for the need for notarization, that depends on the jurisdiction. My ex and I go to the states regularly, but we rarely get the consent letter notarized (and I work at a law firm, and my ex with the government who has lawyers available). That said, for this trip I would arrange for it to be notarized, simply out of an abundance of caution. Call around your area. Some law firms do it for free as form of goodwill to their community. Others will charge a nominal amount around $50 to do it. If they do charge, I wouldn't bother asking to be reimbursed, as you and your partner will likely need her to do the same in return in the future and the cost will come out in the wash.

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