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Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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Old 05-11-2011, 03:10 PM
tremed tremed is offline
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Default Need advice

I've been married for 7 years together for 10 years. We have 2 little girls 3 and 5. He has been having affairs throughout our relationship (I know of 3) and decided to leave in November. He was ready to leave me the kids at a 30/70 split as long as he didn't have to pay child support. We went to mediation and we were ready to sign. We only had to settle on child support. That is where everything went sour. He then decided that he wanted the kids 50/50. All of a sudden he wants to be a more involved dad but leave me all medical issues and appointments. I told him he could come and get the girls on the Sunday when I have the girls for the whole weekend but he's yet to come. The reason ranges from he is at his buddies cottage to my lawyer recommended I don't come.
My offer is to buy the house as if we would sell it deduct all the normal fees that would be encountered anyways. He's refusing to deduct the agent fees. As well I'm offering a schedule of 35/65 with a review after 1 year to increase if the girls are doing good. I also offered CS of $700 for both kids. He think my offer is absolutely ridiculous. Any thoughts???
My psychotherapist has met him once for a couple therapy and she is sure he is a narcissist. Anyone has a good lawyer to recommend to me?
Old 05-11-2011, 03:25 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Originally Posted by tremed View Post
I also offered CS of $700 for both kids. He think my offer is absolutely ridiculous. Any thoughts???
What is his grosse income, what province do you live in and have you looked at the guidelines for determining child support (they aren't generally negotiable, the government has a set schedule providing if you make X, you have Y number of kids and you live in Z province, you pay A).
Old 05-11-2011, 06:29 PM
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billm billm is offline
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Is he capable of taking care of the kids half the time?

If he is, then that is good for the kids and you.

If not, why?

As for CS, just go by the guidelines. Less than 40% overnights with him, then he pays full table CS, over 40% each, you subtract the difference, where the greater income earner pays the other. As for 35% - that is BS, though the guidelines expects him to pay full CS when he has the kids that much time, it truly is not fair, so just do 50/50.

As for 'if the girls are doing good' - that is not reasonable - who decides this? Either he is capable of taking care of them or not, if so, then just go with 50/50, which is his right.

Bringing up his not picking up kids because of one weekend is not really relevant.

YOUR therapist calling him a narcissist does not hold any water for me, even if she did meet him once.

I find it helps if you don't put yourself in the position of evaluating him as a parent with respect to trying to decide what his rights are, or if the kids would be better off with you most of the time - as long as he is somewhat reasonable, then just let him be himself, and work with him to raise the kids equally.

Last edited by billm; 05-11-2011 at 06:33 PM.
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