Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #11  
Old 09-17-2019, 08:57 PM
rhender rhender is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 12
rhender is on a distinguished road
Default

Thank you for the advice. I have not been responding to the countless messages from step mom. I am currently deciding which attorney to hire to at least get my ex to address concerns with the parenting plan and support update. The kids are at an impressionable age and I dont want them to think I ignored all the inappropriate narcissistic behaviour of their step mom. My oldest is 12 and has figured it out. He is seeing a new councillor but step mom insists she attend and is trying to control what he says - sigh. Plus they have been threatening me for a couple of months so it is clear we need a more defined parenting plan at a minimum.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 09-18-2019, 02:15 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 573
Stillbreathing will become famous soon enough
Default

You should put your foot down that the step mom NOT attend counselling with your child. That is beyond wrong on so many levels. You need to rescue your child from this woman! Ask for a judge to order she NOT be present when your child sees their therapist!!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 09-18-2019, 08:42 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 5,455
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

You let the therapist handle that one. They can put their foot down on it. She wont listen to you.

Going to court to get your ex to take his balls out of her purse is a waste of time and money. Do it to update child support but as long as he lets her control him, nothingincluding a parenting coordinatorwill make it stop.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 09-18-2019, 11:06 AM
Janus's Avatar
Janus Janus is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,496
Janus will become famous soon enoughJanus will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rhender View Post
The kids are at an impressionable age and I dont want them to think I ignored all the inappropriate narcissistic behaviour of their step mom.
Hiring a lawyer to prove a point to a kid is a very expensive lesson, and one that will probably teach something other than what you expect.

Quote:
He is seeing a new councillor but step mom insists she attend and is trying to control what he says
It might be useful for councillor to see what step mom is like, it could help inform the therapy. I'm sure councillor will ensure that stepmom is gone soon enough. No need for you to start a battle over this one.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 09-18-2019, 02:58 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 863
iona6656 is on a distinguished road
Default

*tiptoes in*

it's counsellor, not councillor.

*tiptoes back out*
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 09-18-2019, 03:53 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 5,455
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
*tiptoes in*

it's counsellor, not councillor.

*tiptoes back out*


I was going to say something but simply spelled it correctly in my post.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 09-18-2019, 06:19 PM
Janus's Avatar
Janus Janus is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,496
Janus will become famous soon enoughJanus will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
it's counsellor, not councillor.
Fair point, spelling matters. I'm not going to go to my local politician for marriage advice.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 09-24-2019, 11:36 PM
Tayken's Avatar
Tayken Tayken is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 7,172
Tayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant futureTayken has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rhender View Post
I was hoping with my son being gifted, we could get coaches to write a letter that it is hurting his potential for professional sports and scholarships.
Sports scholarships are a pipe dream.

https://www.cnbc.com/2014/10/13/thin...ink-again.html

Quote:
Just 3.3 percent of high school seniors playing men's basketball will have roster positions on NCAA teams as freshmenwith or without scholarships, according to NCAA data. For women, the figure is 3.7 percent.The odds are almost as slim in men's soccer, football, and baseball. The chance of getting an athletic scholarship is even smaller, even for students whose parents can devote the hundreds of hours--and thousands of dollars--that high-level youth sports often require.

Put another way, the odds of landing a college scholarship in many major sports are lower than the chances of being admitted to Harvard, Yale, Princeton or Stanford.
You are better off just saving the money for a real educational opportunity that you will have to pay for anyway.

Your kid has a better chance of being drawn in The Reaping after the apocalypse. "May the odds be forever in your favour."

Last edited by Tayken; 09-24-2019 at 11:39 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 11-09-2019, 07:35 PM
rhender rhender is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 12
rhender is on a distinguished road
Default Never Ends

There has been more drama the last few weeks. Dad caught my son (12 years old) looking up an evil stepmom video. My ex’s partner had my son call me up crying and she accused me of lying about another incident. Dad has told my oldest son that maybe he should live with mom twice. He also has been repeating that his partner is their mother. We have been fighting to say the least.

The kids are an emotional mess. Coaches and other parents have noticed and are concerned about them. My one son has come from school twice with anxiety. My other son didn’t want to go to school because everyone wants to know why he is sad. My son asked to stay with me this weekend to get away from the stress at his dads house. Dad didn’t respond to my text but picked him up early during the school hours. My son cried and had an emotional breakdown. He snuck his phone to call and text me frantically asking for help. They then took his phone away and he tried to run to my house. I eventually negotiated that he stay with me for a couple of days. My son is mad, hurt, confused and I don’t know how to help him.

My lawyer is drafting a letter because the agreement is not being followed but these latest emotional changes have me very concerned for their mental health. They need to feel safe and secure. I am really trying to keep them out of it but my ex keeps putting them back in the middle.

What will the courts do when the kids are suffering? It breaks my heart. I am a good mom and can’t believe this is our reality.

And my son had threatened to kill himself last year when fighting with my partner’s ex. I just can’t ignore these problems - not about their mental health.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 11-09-2019, 07:56 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,641
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

tell the kids to tell a teacher or some other person who has to report it to the proper authorities. Do not sit on this.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
co-parenting, step parent


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Parenting Plan- How specific should you be? iona6656 Parenting Issues 40 03-24-2019 10:04 AM
Shared Custody support payments HappyMomma Financial Issues 36 08-05-2010 10:17 PM
Co-parenting ----post divorce bearall Parenting Issues 14 05-25-2010 11:14 AM
Still trying to get a child support order fedupp Financial Issues 3 03-17-2009 10:16 AM
How credibility is affected in the eyes of Judges. gooddadgoingmad Divorce & Family Law 12 03-12-2006 04:05 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:49 AM.