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  • #16
    What kind of access is she looking for? More than 50%?

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    • #17
      It sounds like there has been a complicated relationship between the parties and they both continue to struggle with what is best for the child. Fighting isn’t going to help.

      She should request 50/50 access and work with the father on moving forward together in the best interest of the child.

      She doesn’t need to respond to all the lies. She simply needs to state the facts. Shes clean, she provides a good home, she is willing to work on a shared parenting situation to ensure the child has liberal access to both parents. When you are reasonable, the judge is more inclined to side with you.

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      • #18
        Sorry at first she was going for sole, but she has said that she will do shared custody at 50/50.

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        • #19
          I think at this stage we are on interim relief until the report is finished and then we have a chance to go through the report and see if their is any errors. After that I believe there is a settlement conference in which a judge will weigh both sides. I think maybe at sometime before that or during the settlement conference we can bring up 50/50 but I don't know and Id have to talk with her lawyer.

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          • #20
            Thanks again and that doea sound like a great idea.

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            • #21
              I dont think a Judge can make a decision at a Settlement Conference, unless its on consent. I would offer the 50/50 before that. I think it would be easier on the young child who looks like she has had her whole little world turned upside down twice in 3 years, soon to be 3 times if you are going for full custody.

              Is the child not doing well in her Fathers Care? Does she have siblings at her Dad's too?

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              • #22
                He does not have any other children and yeah I do agree that she definitely has no idea what is going on. I'm completely okay with 50/50 but I dont think he would ever settle on that. He works out of town when he does so he often leaves her in his mom or sisters care. Its ridiculous.

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                • #23
                  You can put a clause in your agreement that the Mother has first right of refusal for watching the child while he travels.

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                  • #24
                    Great idea.

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                    • #25
                      Those clauses never work.

                      At this point you need to focus on getting back to an unsupervised 50/50 regime. Look at all the reasons why he doesnt want that and try to get past them.

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                      • #26
                        Rockscan. Last Thursday we had a date scheduled for court in order to battle against the supervised visits; however, at the disclosure meeting, with the OCL investigator, prior to the court date, said the SAC was not good and ultimately did more damage to the daughters development. So she essentially said that it be lifted immediately so instead of arguing the motion this Thursday he had agreed to unsupervised visits again. He agreed to the visits but wanted it to be a final order and he wanted the whole recommendation, but we didnt agree because the report itself is not done and because her recommendation is bullshit. So currently we have an interim order of overnight visitations.

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                        • #27
                          My girlfriend is also a native american and is currently in the process of getting her Indian status, but at this point doesn't have it. If she was to get it and have proof that she was in fact a native american would that help her case into getting 50/50. Ultimately, when the children's lawyer interviewed her I don't think the topic of her native heritage ever came up, which is a pretty serious thing. Her daughter's father is not native.

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                          • #28
                            Well... at this point the taxpayer (me) is paying for all of your case conferences and free legal advice. You probably don't care about this but right now, from what you have posted, your g/f receives generous support from the Ontario tax payers. I believe Indian Affairs covers all the goodies that First Nations people receive federally. Your g/f is "american" Indian? Presumably she is Canadian born?

                            Do you have any comprehension of the cost of everything your g/f receives from the government? (yes I know First Nations people have entitlements).

                            Your situation, as opposed to a white guy fighting for custody, should be a "walk in the park" yes?

                            Why would Native heritage be relevant? The other biological parent is non-Native. Are you looking for a financial angle? Do you live on a reserve? Do you or the mother speak and/or write a Native language?

                            Please provide additional information. Thanks

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                            • #29
                              Her native status means nothing. It has everything to do with what is best for the child and the judge will decide that (if she and her baby daddy can’t agree) based on the information they receive. If the child will do better in the care of the father based on what is presented by OCL, both parties in the matter and possibly other witnesses who are called, the judge will order that. The bottom line is which home will be better for the child and if its one or the other thats how it will be. If its a shared situation, thats how it will be.

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                              • #30
                                I am a little worried at this point. Currently we have an OCL recommendation that goes against us ( based on presumely a false status quo). My thinking is that she native american and applied for her status months ago. Im conviced that the report doesnt include anything about the indian act where a childs best interest in terms of their aboriginal idenity should be considered. Im just looking at angles we can approach discrediting this report. She has always be been a native and even though she doesnt speak the language she is still protected by the indian act. Im just spit balling but ultimately the report isnt done and this is just speculation.

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